Smart people can be so dumb

[Inodoro_Pereyra]

When they asked me what was wrong, I would tell them that there was a nut loose behind the control panel....

Damn it man...You just made me spew coke all over my computer...

 

[SwampassJ]

That's awesome. Reminds me of the egg peeler I would have the new guys fetch when I was in the kitchen.

Kind of like asking someone to go get the water hammer.

 

[Pilgarlic]

A friend of mine who worked at Glacier Nat'l Park was more than once asked "What time do the Glaciers go off?"

 

[ChshreCat]

I worked for a cable company and someone called in, all pissed off because his cable modem hadn't worked for three days and he wanted it fixed and a refund for the lost time. I asked him how many lights where on on the front of the modem. "Just one". Then I asked what it said. "Standby". I asked him to press the button on top of the modem. The only button on the modem. It was the one labeled "Standby".

The next thing he said was "I'M GONNA KILL MY F***ING ROOMMATE!!!!"

 

[Inodoro_Pereyra]

That's awesome. Reminds me of the egg peeler I would have the new guys fetch when I was in the kitchen.

Kind of like asking someone to go get the water hammer.

In the '90s, I was working for an electronics company. One day, my boss decided to hire a new technician. One guy came, and told me (I was doing the interviews), that, he being an engineering student, he was looking for something "more advanced" than just assembling and installing microprocessors. So, after he got hired (under the promise that, according to his performance, he was gonna be in charge of something "more adveanced", one day I sent him to an electronics store. I knew the guys at that store were particularly mean to newbies, as most of them were friends of mine.
So I told the guy to get me "a bag of ohms, but make sure they're red!!!"
He quit the next day...

 

[PseudoChef]

As a Ph.D. scientist, I can confirm this. I tried to confirm it earlier, but couldn't figure out how to turn this stupid computer on.

 

[remilard]

These are great, but work in a restaurant. I had one guy ask where the sink was while I was working with him. We have many, many customers bring their marinara sauce up and ask why there is a leaf in there, because they find the bayleaf. Bayleaf is used in almost every marinera sauce ever. They always come up and ask "Did your door blow open a while back or something?" And we are inside and room, in a student union.

It is standard practice to remove bay leaves prior to service. I mean, if you served me something with a little cheesecloth bag with a knot tied in it, I would know why it was there but I would still think you were a crap cook.

 

[rycov]

That's awesome. Reminds me of the egg peeler I would have the new guys fetch when I was in the kitchen.

nice. we would send the new guys to the restaurant nextdoor to get things. oyster peeler, plate stretcher, and my favorite... a bucket of steam.

 

[peregrinebio]

That's awesome. Reminds me of the egg peeler I would have the new guys fetch when I was in the kitchen.

Or when I was in the Army, having the new privates go ask somebody for batteries for the chem lights. They would get passed around the company for a couple hours, usually until they hit an officer.

 

[jafo28]

I worked as a parking garage attendant for a gated community during summers between college semesters. One day a woman walked up to me and asked if I could get someone to jump her dead battery. No problem, it happens from time to time.

It was a manual rental. She forgot to press in the clutch.

I had one similar to this when I was working for a goodyear shop. A lady walks down the street from mcdonalds and tells the service manager that she can't get the keys out of the ignition. He has me take ride in the company truck up there to see if I can figure it out. Well as soon as I get there and put the car in park the keys came right out. Got a ten dollar tip for it, more beer for me!:rockin:

 

[GodsStepBrother]

I work at an insurance company one day a customer comes in and says, "if I make a change on my policy, does that change anything?" WTF!! seriously... you answer your own question. ahhhh.

 

[ChshreCat]

I work at an insurance company one day a customer comes in and says, "if I make a change on my policy, does that change anything?" WTF!! seriously... you answer your own question. ahhhh.

Sounds like when I was at the cable company and spend 15 minutes walking someone though creating a new email address and at the end he asked "And can I use this on the Internet?"

 

[smakudwn]

When I worked for a company taking calls to help people set up their DSL for the first time we'd often start diagnosing by reading through the instructions. Instruction #1, don't use a phone line splitter, plug directly into the wall.

This call would happen about once a week:
Me: "Sir, can you describe the equipment starting at the wall jack and working your way to the modem?"

Customer: "Yeah, there's a splitter plugged into the jack, and the phone cord plugged into that, which is plugged into the modem."

Me: "Sir the splitter is going to prevent your internet from working, can you remove it?"

Customer: "Sure...", *clunk* *click* *dialtone*

Can you guess what was plugged into the other side of that splitter?

Ive had to have this same conversation with customers. Its amazing how many times this happens.

 

[z31maniac]

My company is owned by a larger holding company. One division is currently being sued for failing to follow protocol regarding Information Security.

So what does the parent company do? Force us all to watch the same training videos, again.

If the video didn't teach proper protocol last time, why would watching the same junk work this time?

I constantly feel the need to slam my head into my desk here.