Since when did my humour become too subtle!!??

[Laughing_Gnome_Invisible]

I've never been accused of being highbrow when it come to humour. Honestly though, I live in a town that makes even ME look sophistated!

I asked for a garage sale permit today. The lady and I shared a joke or two.....Very nice woman.She asked my name. I told her Ivan Arden. Spelled it for her.....She repeated it, (which gave me an instant semi-chubby) And she never noticed!!! It loses something when the names are reversed on the form, but I reckon it's a keeper. No doubt SWMBO will give me sh!t for giving a false name to a public offiicial, but she never looked at the last one I got, so I should be safe there.

 

[Bopper]

Color me stupid, but I don't get it either!!

 

[Tonedef131]

You need a permit to have a garage sale?

 

[Hang Glider]

Color me stupid, but I don't get it either!!

I've an 'ard on...

 

[Evan!]

Dude, it took me saying it out loud like 5 times before I got it. I suppose if you say it in a heavy brit accent it sounds a little better, but still. "eye-van ar-den" doesn't sound THAT much like "I've an Hard-on". It's not that it's subtle, it just doesn't work that well. Also, knowing this country and the inane local regulations, I'd bet that, technically, you just committed some terrible fraud by giving a fake name, and if they found out that you lied, you'd probably end up in a My Cousin Vinny situation.

What I wanna know is, why have you listed your address as a grinding tool?

 

[Laughing_Gnome_Invisible]

Color me stupid, but I don't get it either!!

I'm officially subtle then!!

You need a permit to have a garage sale?

You need a permit to blink in this town. A while back, my son-in-law got cautioned by a cop for being happy. He had some good news and came out of a bar saying Wooohoooh! In public.

 

[Bopper]

Dude, it took me saying it out loud like 5 times before I got it. I suppose if you say it in a heavy brit accent it sounds a little better, but still. "eye-van ar-den" doesn't sound THAT much like "I've an Hard-on". It's not that it's subtle, it just doesn't work that well.

What I wanna know is, why have you listed your address as a grinding tool?

LGI, I hate to tell ya but I think that joke was pretty subtle. Should have gone with Ivanna Tinkle or Mike Hunt or.... If You Seek Amy

Although I do agree with Evan! that it would work much better with a Brittish accent

 

[Laughing_Gnome_Invisible]

Dude, it took me saying it out loud like 5 times before I got it. I suppose if you say it in a heavy brit accent it sounds a little better, but still. "eye-van ar-den" doesn't sound THAT much like "I've an Hard-on". It's not that it's subtle, it just doesn't work that well.

What I wanna know is, why have you listed your address as a grinding tool?

OK, back to the drawing board on that one then. Maybe it just works better in English.

 

[Brew-Happy]

I'm officially subtle then!!



You need a permit to blink in this town. A while back, my son-in-law got cautioned by a cop for being happy. He had some good news and came out of a bar saying Wooohoooh! In public.

But you apparently don't need an official ID with current address.

 

[Hang Glider]

Mike Hunt

Ha Ha!!! We got one here! Sheriff!

 

[SmugMug]

You need a permit to have a garage sale?

That's the first thing that came to my head. I'm going to go out on a limb and also make the assumption that every community has a strict HOA as well. Geez.

 

[jgln]

I've never been accused of being highbrow when it come to humour. Honestly though, I live in a town that makes even ME look sophistated!

I asked for a garage sale permit today. The lady and I shared a joke or two.....Very nice woman.She asked my name. I told her Ivan Arden. Spelled it for her.....She repeated it, (which gave me an instant semi-chubby) And she never noticed!!! It loses something when the names are reversed on the form, but I reckon it's a keeper. No doubt SWMBO will give me sh!t for giving a false name to a public offiicial, but she never looked at the last one I got, so I should be safe there.

I am confused too, are you worried your humor is too subtle or that she never noticed your semi-chubby?? :cross:

 

[Joker]

Rookie go for the gusto ...... Harry Spheenctar........ Howey Feldersnach......... Richard Inerrump

Now go back and get another permit with a better name on it.

 

[Laughing_Gnome_Invisible]

Rookie go for the gusto ...... Harry Spheenctar........ Howey Feldersnach......... Richard Inerrump

Now go back and get another permit with a better name on it.

Ivan Arden was good, it only works with someone who speaks English though........I'm so full of fail today

 

[SmugMug]

Ivan Arden was good, it only works with someone who speaks English though........I'm so full of fail today

Shoulda spelled it Ivan Ardon. You were close.

 

[MGAZ]

What other things require a permit in your socialist city?

 

[Laughing_Gnome_Invisible]

Shoulda spelled it Ivan Ardon. You were close.

I've an 'ard 'n. See? it makes perfect sense with an English accent!

 

[jgln]

Ivan Arden was good, it only works with someone who speaks English though........I'm so full of fail today

Eh, I got it right away.

 

[Laughing_Gnome_Invisible]

What other things require a permit in your socialist city?

'tis a conservative town. Ya still need a permit to blink though. Can't drink outside at a bar unless within a six foot fence or wall......Can't fart, can't do anything except wave flags and go to bed early (Especially if you are under 18 and come under the curfew)

 

[jgln]

"I am Gagnon!"


There is a local hospital by the name Gagnon and in their radio commercials they have a bunch of people one by one saying that, nothing else. I have to laugh every time I hear it, especially when the women say it. What were they thinking or am I just becoming a dirty old man with a dirty mind?

 

[Laughing_Gnome_Invisible]

"I am Gagnon!"


There is a local hospital by the name Gagnon and in their radio commercials they have a bunch of people one by one saying that, nothing else. I have to laugh every time I hear it, especially when the women say it. What were they thinking or am I just becoming a dirty old man with a dirty mind?

See, here is my problem. When I see Gagnon, my head says it is French, so I would say it in my noggin as Gang-nyong........Like I said before, I am so full of fail when it comes to pronunciation

 

[Hugh_Jass]

I'm wondering what the lass would have done if you're name was Richard Gozinya.

 

[MGAZ]

'tis a conservative town. Ya still need a permit to blink though. Can't drink outside at a bar unless within a six foot fence or wall......Can't fart, can't do anything except wave flags and go to bed early (Especially if you are under 18 and come under the curfew)

Can you even brew beer outside. Or do you have to hide in the cellar under a blanket with the lights off?

 

[Homercidal]

I chatted with a cop from Georgia who said they have an open container law where if you are one your porch drinking a beer, you can be cited if they can see you from the street. You have to use a Coozie (or whatever those darn things are called you put over cans to keep them as cold as ice.)

 

[MGAZ]

We may have to start a stupid law/rule/requirement thread

 

[the_bird]

Wait a second...

Gnomey here gets a chubby when he hears a woman tell him "I've a hard-on?"

Methinks someone's got a hard drive full of transvestite pr0n.....

 

[Laughing_Gnome_Invisible]

Wait a second...

Gnomey here gets a chubby when he hears a woman tell him "I've a hard-on?"

Methinks someone's got a hard drive full of transvestite pr0n.....

It don't matter what she said, she was talking dirty to me!

Anyway, at least my failed jokes carry documentation!

 

[GearBeer]

Well.. I figured it out. Then again, I've got a buddy who registers his car with such names at the track. He uses a different one each time. The only one I can remember, though, is Harold Paratestes.

Had a buddy in college by the name of Mike Hunt. Poor guy loved to drink but hated going to parties.

 

[Yooper]

OK, back to the drawing board on that one then. Maybe it just works better in English.

No lie, I know two guys with bad names.

Mike Hawke

Jack Knopf

I love when people at bars meet Mike, and a friend approaches women with him saying, "Hi baby. I'd like to introduce you to Mike Hawke." There are lots more- "Mike Hawke calling for you", etc. I'm very childish, so it always cracks me up.

Knopf is a common surname in our area, and apparently "Jack" is a family name. He's been hung up on many times when he calls to make dinner reservations. He's learned NOT to say, "Hi there. I'm Jack Knopf".

 

[jgln]

I am confused too, are you worried your humor is too subtle or that she never noticed your semi-chubby?? :cross:

So is my humor too subtle too or just not funny?