Save me from my dead skin cells!!!

[Laughing_Gnome_Invisible]

The bastards!!! I saw on discovery channel!! My dead skin cells are all over the house! How can i trust the little f*ckers to not turn against me!

I'm looking at my rug right now.....Discovery already told me about the miriad of microscopic Nazi necromancers living in it's threads.....Even as I look at the rug, I just KNOW that the parasites in the green sections are planning to wage a war on the beige bastards!......But what if they get a secret weapon!! You know what I'm talking about! The green bastards have access to my dead skin cells!! What if they have the ability to clone an army of little me's so that they can wipe out the beige bastards!! It ain't like I care too much about the beige bastards, but when will the green bastard,s lust for total domination end?

Will I end up fighting a war against my own rug? And what about my couch!? There is no end of dead skin and seminal fluids on that! How the hell can I trust my couch any more! Shecky has the right idea! Put your couches out on the porch before they can clone you and feast on your brains!

Of f*ck!!! My keyboard!!! It's covered in my diabolical matrix! I'm screwed!!!

AAARRRRGGGHHHH! (That is a British aaaaarrrrghhh, don't pronounce the g's please, like some of you do when pretending to be pirates).....anyway....AAAAAARRRRGGHHHH They are getting me!!! Honestly!!!


No, really! they are getting me!!!!


Well, they seem to be taking their time, but I guess they ARE pretty small.



aarrghh!!!! (Bear with me)

aarrgh....This may take longer than I first thought.....



aaaargh...Not gone yet. Maybe I'll even post again in a beer thread before I'm done.


AAARRRGGHHHH!!!

 

[wild]

Started on the barleywine a little early today huh?

Hint: Toss the carpet out as well including the ugly beige stuff.

 

[TXCrash]

Reminds me of a sales tactic from my vacuum sales days... (yes... I was one of THOSE... definitely a... life experience).

We'd set up the display filter paper, toss a couch cushion in a garbage bag and suck all the crap out of it (mostly skin cells). If that didn't get a sale, we'd move to the bedroom and vac the heck out of the bed...

I'm still an ******* - but I was a sleazy ******* then ;-)

 

[GilaMinumBeer]

1.) Head and Shoulders

2.) Loofah

3.) Dyson 14Amp Animal

4.) Wood Floors

Or, lay off the Lortabs when having a pint.

Prolem Solved.

 

[Brewin_Bob]

Move the sofa to the front porch. That way any skin cells blow away with the wind. Not to mention how classy it would look.

 

[BierMuncher]

I might move this to the shroom forum.

 

[IrregularPulse]

Reminds me of the little elven village SWMBO was so intrigued with her first "experience" with vegetables. Mind you the village was in the forest that was the carpet of the living room.

 

[imaguitargod]

Nuke them from orbit....it's the only way to be sure.

 

[Brewin_Bob]

Nuke them from orbit....it's the only way to be sure.

You're gonna listen to Hicks?!?! He's a grunt for cryin' out loud! No offense.

 

[DeathBrewer]

alright. we waste him. no offense.

 

[Brewin_Bob]

Had to dig it up and post it Best of all 4 Aliens movies.

Hudson: [puts his rifle against Burke's head] I say we grease this rat-**** son-of-a-***** right now.
Hicks: It just doesn't make any goddamn sense.
Ripley: He figured that he could get an alien back through quarantine, if one of us was... impregnated... whatever you call it, and then frozen for the trip home. Nobody would know about the embryos we were carrying... me and Newt.
Hicks: Wait a minute, now... we'd all know.
Ripley: Yes. The only way he could do it is if he sabotaged certain freezers on the way home... namely, yours. Then he could jettison the bodies and make up any story he liked.
Hudson: ****. He's dead. You're dog-meat, pal!
Burke: This is so nuts. I mean, listen - listen to what you're saying. It's paranoid delusion. How - It's really sad. It's pathetic.
Ripley: You know, Burke, I don't know which species is worse. You don't see them ****ing each other over for a goddamn percentage.
Hicks: All right, we waste him. No offense.

There should be a thread, similar to the never ending word thread, in which we post movie quotes. So, the quote that one posts must be inspired by the previous quote/post.




Then again, maybe I should just finish my coffee and surf HBT on the clock.

 

[JoeMama]

I might move this to the shroom forum.

+1 to that... Maybe the Pan Cyans section?
LOL
-Me

 

[Laughing_Gnome_Invisible]

Ohh!! we are getting a shroom section!?

I'll have 25 liberty cap please, hold the relish

 

[EvilTOJ]

Nuke it fr... aW CRAP!! one moment please...

KILL IT! KILL IT WITH FIRE!!! FIRE IS THE GREAT CLEANSWER!!! IT IS THE CRAETOR!!

 

[Zul'jin]

This thread has gnome jiz in it. No way I'm posting here.

And keep off my porch. Troll skin never dies.

 

[paulthenurse]

Grease em.. Grease em all, and torch the whole village!

 

[hungrymonkey]

fhs only fhinv keepin me from puking is this thread.

 

[imaguitargod]

Ohh!! we are getting a shroom section!?

I'll have 25 liberty cap please, hold the relish

I'll take those ones that Terrance McKenna helped develope....the onces that are about an inch tall and all you need are two.

 

[JoeMama]

I'll take those ones that Terrance McKenna helped develope....the onces that are about an inch tall and all you need are two.

*Cough* PanCyans *Cough*


I so need to not post in this thread anymore... Im already in enough ****...
Been there done that - and of course for educational purposes only.
-Me

 

[imaguitargod]

and of course for educational purposes only.
-Me

I've hit up all the psycadelics for the same reason. I've learned more about the way things work through that way than sobriety could have ever taught me. Wonderful things they are.