Red Hot Iron by Pittsb'gh BrewingCo

[brownrice]

wow this beer sucks.

it's like chewing on cinnamon gum that you found stuck to something.

it's like taking big bites out of some shttty flavored chapstick.

it's like tripping on robitussin but more terrifying.

it's like a candy cane stirred in a glass of urine.

it tastes like old man candy, but also like old man.

it''s like one of those restaurant mints (round, wrapped in plastic, with the red and white spiral) that was dropped in the toilet and then fished out and put back in the dish.

or like when you choose poorly in a whitman's chocolate sampler.

or like a big bowl of cinnamon toast crunch but instead of milk, it's malt liquor. or both.

it smells like a hungover and farting elf.

or like santa claus, heavy breathing and sweaty, in a crowded elevator.

like the red nose piece off an alcoholic clown. who's been sweating and sniffling into it for a while.

it's what a pedophile would stock his fridge with. because it is alcohol candy.

it tastes like an atomic warhead that rolled across the cafeteria floor and has weird hairs on it now.

 

[Gnomebrewer]

I'm getting a mixed message here....do you like it, or not???

 

[brownrice]

I'm getting a mixed message here....do you like it, or not???

it's pretty amazing to read consumer reviews of this beer.

nice folks tripping over themselves trying not to say anything bad about drinking garbage soda, and trying to sound smart and sophisticated while doing so.

the only reason i didn't pour this beer down the toilet is because i was afraid my toilet would get angry and vomit it right back at me.