Proven Home Brewing Things that Make SWMBO Really Mad

[Yooper]

59. Become very close personal friends with the guys who work at the local hardware store. "Hey, Lorena! Brewing again?", from all over the store each time you walk in looking for a new piece of tubing or different fittings for a CFC. Talking about flux, and sweating copper. He found that very irritating.

 

[Brewmasters Warehouse]

#56 Refusing to go to certain restaurants because they don't sell the beer you want to drink.

Thankfully the SWMBO has this one down pat, and checks out the beer selections before making any decisions on which places we go.

#60. Leaving 3 carboys soaking in PBW in the guest bathroom, when the visiting in laws are supposed to be trying to take a shower.

"I told you 2 weeks ago to move your beer stuff out of the bathroom, my mom could not take a shower this morning" says the SWMBO.

"Sorry about that, but there is not enough room in the basement for it all" said the about to get jacked up husband.

 

[hoppymonkey]

61) telling the wife that no matter how much you spend that it is cheaper than buying commerical beer.

 

[shroomzofdoom]

16. When she comes out to the kitchen to make some food 5 minutes before the end of the boil, shoo her out and tell her she should have thought about eating at the start of the boil, now it’s time to chill the wort.

Hahaha, I've done that! Funny, my wife doesn't drink beer or even like the smell of cooking wort. But she LOVES to bottle!

She gets mad at me if I bottle without enlisting her help. She's now to the point where I can tell her that a batch needs to be bottled and she can almost do it unsupervised: racking, priming, sterilizing, etc. If I bottle without her, she gets mad at me.

She fills, I empty---this is the key to marital bliss.

 

[Bernie Brewer]

Hmmmm. I was never scolded for any of this. Why is it that you people are still married and I'm divorced???????????

 

[GilaMinumBeer]

62) Order supplies and wait til she see's the statement before you tell her.

 

[SporkD2]

12. Say, with the upmost sincerity, "I swear dear! This is ________is the very last item I need. I promise, I won't need anything else ever." Then two weeks later, remember why you need just "one more thing".

I laughed so hard at this one!

 

[lady_brewer]

Hmmmm. I was never scolded for any of this. Why is it that you people are still married and I'm divorced???????????

Maybe your (former)SWMBO just held it all in? 1 million little things and then a stuck sparge made her crack and she went crazy?

63. Insist that you absolutely need this last part for your chopper project (hubby tells me this is what you call it when you build a bike) and effectively use up the homebrewing budget, putting off SWMBOs plan to move to AG before April by at least another month...

No wait, that doesn't work...

63. Explain that you really need to pay your winter tuition so that you can register for your classes and workterm in the spring, effectively putting AG on hold another month...

No, that doesn't work either...

63. Complaining that SWMBO's beer is taking up too much room in the fridge, and that there isn't room for your beer, what with her not drinking fast enough...

Hmm... that might not work either...

63. Not buying SWMBO brewing equipment for Valentines.

There, that is better

 

[DavidSteel]

64: getting yelled at for not cleaning up right away because you are chilling the wort or doing something else that need immediate attention. Jeeez.
65: waking up earlier than you ever do to brew and end up waking up SWMBO in the process
66: coming home on the weekends to do nothing but brew and then leave. I'm guilty of this quite often.

 

[northernlad]

#67: The wife puts a moritorium on brewing, you agree, then she finds you boiling jars for yeast.
I WAS cleaning the kitchen at the same time...

 

[gratus fermentatio]

Hahaha, I've done that! Funny, my wife doesn't drink beer or even like the smell of cooking wort. But she LOVES to bottle!

She gets mad at me if I bottle without enlisting her help. She's now to the point where I can tell her that a batch needs to be bottled and she can almost do it unsupervised: racking, priming, sterilizing, etc. If I bottle without her, she gets mad at me.

She fills, I empty---this is the key to marital bliss.

So, does your wife have a sister who is single & loves to bottle?

 

[mysterio]

Leave everything stained with a iodophor yellow hue: sinks, bath, etc..

 

[ForRealBeer]

12. Say, with the upmost sincerity, "I swear dear! This is ________is the very last item I need. I promise, I won't need anything else ever." Then two weeks later, remember why you need just "one more thing".

I take the Fifth.

And I insure I am always home to grab FedEx packages.

 

[northernlad]

I take the Fifth.

And I insure I am always home to grab FedEx packages.

Packages are shipped to work.

 

[IrregularPulse]

Packages are shipped to work.

+1 to this!!

 

[UTbrewer]

58) Fart up a storm after drinking too much homebrew.

LMAO!! I get in trouble all the time for that one!

 

[GilaMinumBeer]

#68. Buy a Brew-Magic and a chill wizard. And only brew 3 maybe 4 time a year.

 

[Sedge]

69- Ask if she wants to come over for the weekend, and inform her on arrival that not only are we brewing today, we're bottling as well.

I kid, she knew what she was getting into and seemed to have fun, except for the aching back. With me footing the bill, she brewed her first batch a few weeks later.

 

[DavidSteel]

69- Ask if she wants to come over for the weekend, and inform her on arrival that not only are we brewing today, we're bottling as well.

I kid, she knew what she was getting into and seemed to have fun, except for the aching back. With me footing the bill, she brewed her first batch a few weeks later.

Haha, pwnt. I'm totally going to do this for a first date. I'm calling it right now.

 

[chainsawbrewing]

call on the way home from the lhbs and say "hey, i'm gonna need to spend a couple hundred on the credit card for some beer stuff, if i don't i'm gonna have some beer go bad, and then i'd lose the money i spent to brew it in the first place"

then when she tries to give a bit of resistance explain to her that you already did it and are almost home.

 

[mosquitocontrol]

70- Remove the aerator from the bathroom faucet for IC and neglect to put it back on. A few hours later they go to the bathroom and get sprayed all over with water when they use the faucet.

 

[Great_Neck_Brewer]

71.) Reminding her that she was the one who bought me the starter kit for Christmas in the first palce

 

[DeathBrewer]

Yeah, #4 pretty much makes me lol every time I think about it.

 

[Grimster]

Yeah, #4 pretty much makes me lol every time I think about it.

I've only made like 4 brews so far and my wife's already aware and asks "what is sanitized and shouldn't be touched?" when I'm doing anything.

 

[LVBen]

I was bottling last week and was in the middle of siphoning from my fermenter to my bottling bucket and SWMBO saw my hands completely tied up and the top of my boxers hanging out and decided to give me a wedgie! Grrrr!!!! WTF? There is not much worse for sanitation than having to adjust your underwear in the middle of siphoning. Then a little while later she decided to start picking up sanitized bottles with her dirty hands just to look at them like as if she had never seen an empty beer bottle before. Grrr!!!! She will learn!

 

[DeathBrewer]

Ha! Siphon Wedgie!

To be fair, I don't see how picking up bottles is going to make them unsanitary

 

[StunnedMonkey]

70. Leave a tap handle cracked open all night so that 4+ gallons of beer drains out all over the floor and soaks the oriental rug...twice.

Come to think of it, that pisses me off too, though probably for different reasons.

 

[DeathBrewer]

Leave a bucket under your taps. And if you leave it open, make yourself drink it all.

 

[LVBen]

Leave a bucket under your taps. And if you leave it open, make yourself drink it all.

If you drink a bucket of beer, you might have a hard time remembering to put the bucket back and are more likely to leave the tap open...

 

[LVBen]

To be fair, I don't see how picking up bottles is going to make them unsanitary

It probably won't, but I'd prefer to not have any unnecessary touching from dirty hands, especially around the neck and rim of the bottles.