Proven Home Brewing Things that Make SWMBO Really Mad

[eljefe]

Trust me I know from experience. Thought I would share for those who want to avoid the conflict as well as for those that want to bring it on.

1) Start brewing a batch hours before her friends come over
2) Store bottle bombs in the closet with her shoes
3) Plant rhizomes in the garden without consulting her and watch the hop runners kill the flowers
4) Freak out when she goes near the bottling bucket by claiming she is unsanitary
5) Fill the basement with empty bottles
6) Fill the utility sink with bottles soaking in Oxyclean and tell her she can't do laundry
7) Spill a bag of grain all over the floor and do a poor job cleaning it up

 

[Yooper]

LOL- that's funny. I've been accused of doing #4 myself.

 

[llazy_llama]

8) Have a massive honey boilover (JAOM) and don't clean up the tile floor afterwords.

 

[Revvy]

I don't have a swmbo but I think this thread rocks!!!

 

[dataz722]

9) Tell her it will save you money and won't take up any space and be hardly even noticeable. Then next thing she knows it takes up half the basement.

 

[llazy_llama]

10) When she tells you that a carboy draped with a T-shirt looks tacky in the living room, replace the T-shirt with one of her blouses.

I've done a million of these. Give me time, they'll all come back.

 

[eljefe]

10) When she tells you that a carboy draped with a T-shirt looks tacky in the living room, replace the T-shirt with one of her blouses.

I've done a million of these. Give me time, they'll all come back.

That's awesome!

 

[Yuri_Rage]

11) Build a dedicated shed to house all of your brew gear and continue to store brewing supplies in every closet and several kitchen cabinets.

 

[Yooper]

12. Say, with the upmost sincerity, "I swear dear! This is ________is the very last item I need. I promise, I won't need anything else ever." Then two weeks later, remember why you need just "one more thing".

 

[boyurboy]

11) Build a dedicated shed to house all of your brew gear ...

If only...

 

[eljefe]

13. Place a large order of stuff, such as kits, brew kettles, carboys, in the hopes it arrives when she is out of town only to have it arrive the day before she arrives.

 

[Skins_Brew]

14. Leave a small collection of small brewing related items around the kitchen sink 24/7/365. Items such as stoppers, airlocks, flasks, etc.

 

[Skins_Brew]

10) When she tells you that a carboy draped with a T-shirt looks tacky in the living room, replace the T-shirt with one of her blouses.

ooooo! another variation of this would be using towels that you got as wedding presents to wrap your carboy.

 

[dataz722]

ooooo! another variation of this would be using towels that you got as wedding presents to wrap your carboy.

You actually know which were wedding presents?

 

[weirdboy]

9) Tell her it will save you money and won't take up any space and be hardly even noticeable. Then next thing she knows it takes up half the basement.

This is me...only we don't have a basement.

You actually know which were wedding presents?

This is one of those things you quickly learn after your SWMBO finds them soaked in beer.

 

[Zen_Brew]

14. Leave a small collection of small brewing related items around the kitchen sink 24/7/365. Items such as stoppers, airlocks, flasks, etc.

I'm guilty as charged on that one, Big Time!

15. Use all the freezer space up for bulk hops and extra specialty grains so almost no food will fit in it

16. When she comes out to the kitchen to make some food 5 minutes before the end of the boil, shoo her out and tell her she should have thought about eating at the start of the boil, now it’s time to chill the wort.

 

[Skins_Brew]

You actually know which were wedding presents?

The ones that are super soft are From the wedding.

 

[johnnyc]

I was told there's no way my stir plate is staying in the house after she heard me giving it a test run yesterday.

 

[OMJ]

The ones that are super soft are From the wedding.

oh so you mean the ones that I am not supposed to use are from the wedding

 

[Weezknight]

9) Tell her it will save you money and won't take up any space and be hardly even noticeable. Then next thing she knows it takes up half the basement.

+1 to this one.

I'll also add: While going out to buy items for the soon-to-be-born baby, telling her we need to stop at another store, too. 30 minutes later (in the opposite direction) arriving at the LHBS, and saying, "yeah, this is where I needed to stop."

 

[Homercidal]

Tell her that when you are done brewing the kitchen will be cleaner than it was when you started...

 

[loganb]

+1 to this one.

I'll also add: While going out to buy items for the soon-to-be-born baby, telling her we need to stop at another store, too. 30 minutes later (in the opposite direction) arriving at the LHBS, and saying, "yeah, this is where I needed to stop."

yeah done this one but the lhbs wasnt to far down the road. "Hey babe seeing how we are already in Austin we should stop by Austin Homebrew and get some stuff." cool thing about SWMBOs is they cant stay mad forever but they never freakin forget when you pissed them off.

 

[AnOldUR]

17. Running out of her favorite beer, but never running out of yours.

 

[mmb]

Sucks to be ya'll.

Mine gets pissed when there isn't any beer.

 

[tpgsr]

oh so you mean the ones that I am not supposed to use are from the wedding

Exactly. I had 5 of them being used to insulate and shield light. She went and got me cheap towels and told me not to touch the nice ones from the wedding. At least she gave me a solution before yelling at me.

 

[kjung]

17. Running out of her favorite beer, but never running out of yours.

Sucks to be ya'll.

Mine gets pissed when there isn't any beer.

SWMBO tolerates my leaving the small things in the kitchen (for a couple of weeks, at best), but about the only thing that really gets her mad is when I run out of beer that I made for her.



That reminds me...............

 

[motobrewer]

17. Telling her "this next batch of ingredients will only cost like $20!" Then proceed to spend another $100 at the brew store on flasks, salts, hose, canes, etc.

 

[dwarven_stout]

Let's see... I have done these:

#2 Bottle Bombs in the closet
#14 Small brewing items constantly in the sink
#15 Freezer full of hops (I was surprised to learn how *large* a pound of leaf is- and I had 4)

I'll also add:
#18 SWMBOs hate it when your carboy pops off its airlock into her dresses, where the yeast dries and sticks the whole apparatus to something fancy.

#19 Spent grain in the compost pile near the window is a bad idea.

#20 SWMBO quickly learns that you're not inviting her to homebrew club meetings for the privileged of her company so much as her valid license and low blood alcohol content.

#21 Spending too much time on HBT

 

[GearJammer]

22) After she gives you a honeydo list, tell her you have to make a quick trip to Home Depot. Return only with supplies for your brew rig.

 

[david_42]

No SWMBO, but I bet

23) Tell her you'll clean up the boilover on her new stove top "later".
24) Tell her burned-on wort doesn't come off, after two days of trying.

 

[kaiser423]

25) While she's out with the girls, removing everything from the bottom half of the second fridge and loading it up with kegs that need to be chilled/carbed, and feeding whatever doesn't fit back in to the dog.

Otherwise she loves my beer and likes having it around :rockin:

On that note...

26) Tell her that you'll have nice blonde ready for her gathering in the summer, but getting delayed and only having partially carbed beer ready for the party.

27) Giving all the "good" beer away, because I'm tired of seeing the fridge full of beers that don't appeal to me too much.

28) Knocking her up, and then stepping up and producing a series of really, really good beers.

 

[bigdug]

29) not noticing that the spigot on the bottling bucket is open when racking to it

Come to think of it that makes me mad too I hate to waste beer

 

[IrregularPulse]

14. Leave a small collection of small brewing related items around the kitchen sink 24/7/365. Items such as stoppers, airlocks, flasks, etc.

There is Always an airlock on my sink!

#20 SWMBO quickly learns that you're not inviting her to homebrew club meetings for the privileged of her company so much as her valid license and low blood alcohol content.

#21 Spending too much time on HBT

#20 is great!
#21 she has gotten used to

29) not noticing that the spigot on the bottling bucket is open when racking to it

Come to think of it that makes me mad too I hate to waste beer

Did this while adding to my boil kettle once.

My most guilty thing USED to be, "after this I won't need any more equipment" we both quickly learned that just simply wasn't true and that there will always be at least 3 decent purchases waiting on the list.

 

[Boerderij_Kabouter]

30) attempting to make beer brewing activities in her best interests. My Wife: 'I don't care if you want to do X, but don't make it about me!'

I have been guilty of these in the past but have learned to balance brewing and family. I do still have a bunch of brewing stuff out ont he counters though...

 

[Jim Karr]

Getting SWMBO out of bed because you started bottling a batch when she went there, proceeded to shatter a bottle with your bench capper, cutting your hand with flying fragments, and asking her if she would help finish bottling while you hold a bandage over the bleeding wound............

 

[xiang]

32) Wake up SWMBO in the middle of the night to announce you have active fermentation 6hrs after pitching the yeast.

I do this every batch

 

[humann_brewing]

33)

34)

35)

Not mine by the way

 

[AnonyBrew]

I think llama's #10 is the best one so far. I laughed my ass off on that one.

Oh where do i start....

36) sleep in as late as i can every day until she has to wake me up to watch the kids, but on brewdays i'm up at 6am filtering water & measuring grains

37) spend hundreds of dollars on ingredients & wait until you pay the credit card to tell her about it

38) everytime she travels for work buy a new chest freezer and "sneak" it into the garage hoping it goes unnoticed when she returns, then if she asks just tell her it was $20 on craigslist

39) when the toddler pulls the airlock off one of the carboys that sits in the kitchen, ask her in a disgusted voice "why'd you let him near there?"

40) spend countless hours on the PC brew planning & chatting & reading HBT forums and tell her i don't have enough time to fix things around the house

41) when you leave about 20 beer magazines open to the articles & recipes you intend to get to all over the table and she cleans them all up before having company....tell her "don't touch my beer stuff!"

I'm sure I have more.

 

[eljefe]

33)

Not mine by the way

What can be better beers and drums. Is there an SWMBO in that household? If so she is WAYYYYY more patient than the one in my household.

I also love how every piece of brewing equipment and all the beer bottles are strategically out of sight if someone were to look through the window.

 

[LVBen]

4) Freak out when she goes near the bottling bucket by claiming she is unsanitary

LOL!!!!!!!!!!!