Proper Grammar

[Cheesefood]

A man with "marital problems" goes to an indian medicine man for help. The medicine man gives him some herbs and says "This is how it works. First, you drink the herbs. Then you count out loud '123' and you'll be ready to go as long as you want."

The man asks "What about when I'm ready to stop?"

"That's easy. You count out loud '1234' But once you do that, you won't be able to use the herbs again for one year."

So the man heads home. Along the way, he picks up some flowers for his wife. He also stops and gets dinner with all the typical aphrodesiac foods: oysters, chocolate covered strawberries, champagne. He gets home before his wife and showers up and puts on his best cologne. His wife comes home and they eat the nice meal.

Afterwards, the man sneaks away and takes the herbs. He walks over to his wife and says "I have a surprise for you!"

He leads her into the bedroom. He kisses her passionately. She's shocked as it's been months since he's shown her this kind of affection.

So he says "Are you ready? 123!"
Then his wife, puzzled, asks "What did you say 123 for?"


And that, my friends, is why you never end a sentence in a preposition.

 

[the_bird]

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TERRIBLE! I mean, that was horrible! That's got to be one of the worst jokes I've ever heard...

Clearly, with your studies completed, you have WAY too much time on your hands... why don't you go porn surfing or something?

 

[Cheesefood]

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TERRIBLE! I mean, that was horrible! That's got to be one of the worst jokes I've ever heard...

Clearly, with your studies completed, you have WAY too much time on your hands... why don't you go porn surfing or something?

So you didn't copy & paste it into an e-mail and forward it to all the English majors that you know?

 

[the_bird]

Uh.... nope.

 

[olllllo]

The herbs are smart enough to understand language but not context.
That's HI-larry-us.

 

[98EXL]

I don't get it...can someone put it into C++ or something?

 

[mrb]

English teacher groans..........

This helped to remind me that I only have about a week and a half left of summer.
RATS!!!!!

 

[Orpheus]

*giggle* *guffaw* *knee slap*

This reminds me of another counting/sex joke:

A young virgin meets a nice young woman and they're getting ready to have an intimate night. The man is nervous and decides to go see a therapist to make sure he's ready to rock her world.

"Well, Doc, it's just that I've never done this before and I want to do it right. I have no idea HOW to do it, you know, the mechanics of sex."

The Doc gets his drift and tells the young man to stand up. He then instructs him to move his hips left and say nickel. The young man does as he is told. Then he instructs the young man to most his lips to the right and say dime. He then tells the young man to thrust forward and say dollar, and to pull back and say two. The man is to go home and practice every night in the mirror.

The young man goes home and into his room and practices, slowly at first, moving his hips and counting as he was instructed: nickel, dime, dollar, two.

The big night arrives and the young man is in bed with his girlfriend. He inserts it into her and begins to move his hips and count in his head. At first it's a little awkward, but he soon gets into the swing of things:

"Nickel!"

"Dime!!"

"Dollar!!"

"Two!!"

"Nickel!!"

"Dime!!"

"Dollar!!"

"Two!!"

"Nickel!!"

"AWWW FCUK THE CHANGE! DOLLAR! TWO! DOLLAR! TWO! DOLLAR! TWO! DOLLAR! TWO!"

 

[98EXL]

ha ha ha ha, that story was awesome