Okay so I'll try and address many of your questions in one post:
Are you sure the beer is finished fermenting before you put it in the bottles. Did you take a gravity reading before bottling, what was your OG and FG?
We've been brewing under the assumption that when the balling reading stays constant for a number of readings that the fermentation is complete.
Secondly, it's not supposed to be carbonated in the secondary. The reason beer carbonates in the bottle is because you induce another fermentation by adding the priming sugar at bottling time. Fermentation produces CO2 as a byproduct, and when this happens in a sealed bottle, the CO2 has nowhere to go but back into the beer as carbonation. Since your secondary fermenter isn't sealed, any CO2 that comes off of it is expelled out the airlock, so it won't be carbonated.
We are aware of this, and we were just trying to rack our brains to figure out if something is going wrong in our brewing/fermenting process
What do you mean your beer literally explodes? Since you're able to open the bottle it sounds like your bottles are not exploding from the pressure, i.e. "bottle bombs." Do you mean the beer gushes out? Or is it exploding in a flaming fireball? When you add your priming sugar or malt, how much are you adding? 3/4 c per 5 gallon batch is standard. How hot is your beer stored and served? If you answer these questions we can help you better.
Sorry, I should have been more specific. We have had some beers explode and break the bottles. But the majority of them expel foam like a fountain.
As for the priming sugar, since we use the malt extract we put in 1.25 cups per 5 gallon batch(which generally is much less than 5 gallons by the time we bottle it).
As for the heat of storage, it's kept at ground level, in a house that's kept at or below 68 degrees
Thanks for any and all advice!!