If you're looking to learn how to put together your own recipes, Designing Great Beers and a copy of BeerSmith would be excellent resources for you.
+1
The recipe is all wrong. Too much of too much. Compare it with some of the more popular recipes here. Less is more. Simplicity is key. Let fewer ingredients shine through. You may be able to taste them that way.
Palmer gives a great analogy in his recent video with Brad Smith (Beersmith ). I'm paraphrasing here. "Making beer is like making a sandwich. You don't make one with 5 different meats, masses of hot mustard, chiles, pickles, french specialty cheeses, Russian bread and ice-cream. It would be a very "interesting sanwich"." The same is true of beer recipes. Do you want a tasty or an interesting experimental beer
Edwort's recipes are really simple and amazingly delicious. The differences will be obvious. This is just one example. Similar differences can be seen across the board.
I have started taking recipes and tweaking them a bit to account for my own system (equipment profile). Use a different yeast here and there, slight adjustment to base grains. It's a start toward designing from scratch. Beersmith is invaluable with this approach.
My thinking is that with so much great recipes already out there, why make my own just yet. The likelihood is that I would end up with something that's already out there in the ether or likely on this forum.
Having said all that, find an approach that you find enjoyable and best of luck with your beer recipe. I hope you enjoy the results of your labors.