My top three satirists:
1. Jonathan Swift
2. George Orwell
3. Paulster
In no particular order . . .
Need advice on my wife.
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My top three satirists:
1. Jonathan Swift
2. George Orwell
3. Paulster
In no particular order . . .
broadbill
Well-Known Member
But you are more than willing to dispense some advice, eh?
Is it because a woman has a uterus that she can't be a leader or because a 2000 year old book tells us that men are inherently superior? I've lost track what the prevailing theory is these days...
That's very 21st century of you. What happens when she falls out of line with your leadership...do you smack her around first, or just quietly divorce her, shaming her and her family?
CreamyGoodness
Well-Known Member
"Prediction for the distant future. A Utopian world will evolve where women are the ruling gender, and there will be peace and prosperity for all. But men will continue to act like macho ********." ~George Carlin
I would never (nor did I) say you need to sack up and show her who's boss. But she appears to be implying that you need to make all the changes... I personally maintain that that isn't compromise but rather concession. I think some people hit on a bigger issue as to whether she's concerned because of health issues or the way you behave when you drink. These are things I would assume you would want to fix for you regardless of what she wanted but the suggestion for taking a walk as an alternative stress relief involves her and might be an actual good compromise depending on the nature of her concern. I do have a fairly significant issue with the idea of doing what your told because your "god emperor wife" told you to do it or else though... Maybe that's just me though. It's certainly why I don't buy into the whole SWMBO crap though.
ClemsonDV
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My wife has an opinion, I have an opinion. We talk and do whats best for our family. Could be my way, could be hers, but she wants and expects me to be our family's leader.
I apologize for sounding pompous, but I think Floppy should get advice from someone professionally. Beer forum is for beer, not marriage advice. There are lots of opinions and lots of sarcasm here, but the man has an issue that needs resolving, not some macho statement of the Man Code.
CreamyGoodness
Well-Known Member
I see where you are coming from Accidic, but a major point that needs to be reiterated is that she made neither a demand nor an ultimatum. She merely mentioned how she feeled.
The fact that merely listening to criticism from the woman he has pledged to spend his life with spurned forth a "kiss my ass" response is interesting to say the least.
The fact that merely listening to criticism from the woman he has pledged to spend his life with spurned forth a "kiss my ass" response is interesting to say the least.
Darwin18
Well-Known Member
If she thinks he has a problem, and it kind of looks like he might (hard to tell from an online forum), then why would she want him to compromise on this? If my wife is a heavy smoker, and I'm concerned about her health, I'm not going to ask her nicely to smoke less. I'm going to ask her to quit because I'm concerned about her long term health. By the way, I don't believe his wife asked him to quit drinking. She said that he had a problem, and it looks like he over reacted on it.
broadbill
Well-Known Member
It might be a concession from the standpoint of this particular issue at hand, but it might be considered the compromise if Floppy then asks her to do something down the line, which she then does because he conceded in the first place.
But then again, I'm one of these pus$y-whipped bast*rds and put alot of stock into "losing the battle to win the war" approach.
A real man would make that dumb c*nt blink first, thus showing her who the real boss is.
ClemsonDV
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100% agree. Also you see things differently than she does. Sometimes the outside looking in prospective can be illuminating. Maybe when you drink, you don't pay her any attention for example.
I do think that leaning on beer for stress relief is an issue into itself. I'd see if I could find something else to relieve stress (S3X???) and maybe things start turning around.
broadbill
Well-Known Member
How quaint...
It does come off as pompous, as you dispensed advice here and now that you are done that you suggest Floppy move along. What is especially interesting is that its YOUR advice comes closest to the "macho statement of the Man Code" which you say Floppy doesn't need right now...are you saying your own advice is bullsh*t? I would agree with you there.
ClemsonDV
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I suggested Floppy to get advice in another arena, not this forum which is turning into a pissing contest. I hope he can manage his marital problems and figure something out.
Can't we all just get along.
Varmintman
Well-Known Member
Threads like these make me realize just how lucky I am to have a wonderful wife and life. I just went in and gave her a hug and a kiss and told her I love her.
ClemsonDV
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Ha. I loved that. I have that same feeling.
forstmeister
Well-Known Member
Prediction: floopy is just an alt to a banned user and just trolled the heck out of all of us.
I took a much different approach. I now make my own vodka and hide in the closet when I drink. Everything seems to be ok but have poked myself in the eye a few times on those friiggin wire clothes hanger. An added benefit is I always smell like a Cedar tree so I feel all Christmasy
CreamyGoodness
Well-Known Member
In that case they did us a service... pointing out whom amongst us we wouldnt invite over for beer and fondue...
i havent read the hwole thread yet, but this quote is what it all boils down to imo. a lot of guys on this board are the doormat type (guys who use the "SWMBO" term...) dont be that guy. youre not tellin her to hit the gym and get in shape are you?
she shouldnt try and change you now.
i would also hazard to guess that she likely drank a lil more years ago and now has slowed and justs expects you to follow suit. staying married isnt worth it if you're miserable. holding a marriage together is NOT everything.
gl man.
Darwin18
Well-Known Member
Yeah! Your alcohol consumption is more important than your marriage!
Fourteen pages and FINALLY someone is talking sense!!
In truth, I begin to wonder if the OP is even real...or floopy...or a guy for that matter.
@Broadbill, It would still be concession in this instance as it would be down the line in the situation reversed. That said, how often is your wife conceding to your whim? I mean really... There's a reason they say they're like cats...
I don't really mean that of course... Well, not ENTIRELY...
I mean really... There's a reason they say they're like cats... I don't really mean that of course...
Well, not ENTIRELY...broadbill
Well-Known Member
@Broadbill, It would still be concession in this instance as it would be down the line in the situation reversed. That said, how often is your wife conceding to your whim?
Just as much as I "concede" to her wishes. Funny thing about treating your spouse as your equal...they tend to do the same for you, in all manner of things
.In my mind, by one person assuming a leader role in a relationship, family, etc. this sends the message that everyone else isn't fit for the job. In some cases this is true (i.e. children) in other cases this is merely subjugation (in this case, a wife/woman who is just a capable of making decisions as a man/husband).
All I have left to say
ClemsonDV
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This will be my last post on the subject, but here goes.
By me saying I am the leader of our house, doesn't mean i subjugate anyone. That is just an erroneous conclusion you jump to. If all I say is "what do you want to do...yes dear...bow and scrape", my wife wouldn't be with me. Regardless what you feel about religion and all that, my wife wants me to be the leader and the head of the household. Her words. She is my equal if not more because I love her so much.
So you can have your opinions and all that. I am happy, she is happy. She is also a demanding business woman and is SMOKING HOTT. We have two good jobs, a great life, and marriage. Just giving my two cents and @BroadBill can take it leave it.
(drops the mic).
By me saying I am the leader of our house, doesn't mean i subjugate anyone. That is just an erroneous conclusion you jump to. If all I say is "what do you want to do...yes dear...bow and scrape", my wife wouldn't be with me. Regardless what you feel about religion and all that, my wife wants me to be the leader and the head of the household. Her words. She is my equal if not more because I love her so much.
So you can have your opinions and all that. I am happy, she is happy. She is also a demanding business woman and is SMOKING HOTT. We have two good jobs, a great life, and marriage. Just giving my two cents and @BroadBill can take it leave it.
(drops the mic).
It's alright Clemson. To be fair, some women prefer for their husband to be the "Leader" of the house. My wife is very much like that. But don't think for a minute that she isn't bordering on evil and bat@#$% crazy because she plays those cards quick and often. That said, I have an incredibly thick skin (as it should be) and I take the jabs in stride as she isn't very well equipped to handle frustration or stress so it lets her get it off her shoulders. Don't get me wrong, I'm an @#$hole and incredibly hard to live with but in the same breath, I'd walk through fire for her (demonstrated coincidentally) and she knows it. She also knows she's bat@#$% crazy which is why I maintain she puts up with my idiosyncrasies.
That said, part of me is the way I am now because I've dealt with abusive manipulative @#$%+es and this is what came out the other side. I'd be willing to talk it out with my spouse and I care enough about her opinion to consider her point of view and likely suggest a compromise (not concession, in all likelihood I'm engaging in whatever behavior or action it is for a reason). However, unless I agree with her I'm not very likely to completely concede the point as her view should be justifiable at least to the point I'd agree enough to do so. I am, admittedly making the assumption that she's implying he needs to quit or heavily reduce consumption though or I can't see why he ever would have went this far. There is frequently more than an ounce of truth in the old "...women want to change their man..." premise after all. Heck, I'd wager most women will even admit to that one.
In the end though, it would take a lot to convince me to go to a Witch Voodoo'ery doctor. To me this decision is one he has to make himself regardless of input from any of us. After all, he is the one who has to live with the result.
That said, part of me is the way I am now because I've dealt with abusive manipulative @#$%+es and this is what came out the other side. I'd be willing to talk it out with my spouse and I care enough about her opinion to consider her point of view and likely suggest a compromise (not concession, in all likelihood I'm engaging in whatever behavior or action it is for a reason). However, unless I agree with her I'm not very likely to completely concede the point as her view should be justifiable at least to the point I'd agree enough to do so. I am, admittedly making the assumption that she's implying he needs to quit or heavily reduce consumption though or I can't see why he ever would have went this far. There is frequently more than an ounce of truth in the old "...women want to change their man..." premise after all. Heck, I'd wager most women will even admit to that one.
In the end though, it would take a lot to convince me to go to a Witch Voodoo'ery doctor. To me this decision is one he has to make himself regardless of input from any of us. After all, he is the one who has to live with the result.
I think I cross responded to several replies. Sorry about that.
RealFloopyGuy
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I appreciate each and every post on this thread. Some of them made me realize that many of you need help more than I do. lol. Some were thoughtful and helpful.
I talked her when she got home and essentially she had a rough week at work and had some other things that made her agitated. I was loopy on cough syrup and have bronchitis, so I am not exactly at peak mental or physical health. When I asked her about it, she said that she just doesn't enjoy drinking and she didn't want to spend the apocalypse with me drunk.
She actually laughed at me when I asked her about the comment she made. She was basically just messing with me. She said that I used alcohol to keep myself in check and she understood that and it didn't bother her but that she doesn't enjoy drinking and so it is something she doesn't share with me. She also said that occasionally I seem to drink a lot more than other times.
I would never bother denying that. Sometimes I drink more because I am feeling stressed, election cycles(haha), and because I like the shape of a type of bottle and I want some for my next beer. I enjoy drinking, and I control myself well.
Since we were talking about serious stuff, I went ahead and asked her about questions and talked to her about other things while we were playing psychotherapy time. We talked about a lot of stuff that we hadn't talked about in recent months.
My wife and I have very open dialogue when we have problems, and we rarely have any sort of problems.
In the end, my being sick and taking it as a sudden attack when I was making jokes about apocalyptic zombie land time was more the issue than any real one.
Another thing I might note is that I never considered my drinking problematic before yesterday. No one had ever said to me that I was drinking too much or excessively, so I never really thought about it. I guess I never considered that there were even other people who only drank 2-3 beers or that that gave them a buzz. I am going to make a poll in a few minutes because I am really interested in just how much other people drink now.
The people I know usually fall into two categories: People who drink and those who don't. Those who don't might have the occasional beer, but those who do almost all drink beer at around the same level as me. It is possible that I have surrounded myself with alcoholics, but if that is the case then a huge portion of the world needs to attend AA.
I noticed that someone said this probably isn't the right forum to ask for advice about this. If a beer forum isn't the place to ask advice about something that involves drinking, then where is? It isn't like I couldn't work this out on my own, but sometimes it helps to just get responses and different ideas from all sorts of people. I got extremes, the middle, and some out there ones here and they helped me lead my thoughts in directions to consider possibilities.
Once again, I appreciate everyone's comments and suggestions.
I talked her when she got home and essentially she had a rough week at work and had some other things that made her agitated. I was loopy on cough syrup and have bronchitis, so I am not exactly at peak mental or physical health. When I asked her about it, she said that she just doesn't enjoy drinking and she didn't want to spend the apocalypse with me drunk.
She actually laughed at me when I asked her about the comment she made. She was basically just messing with me. She said that I used alcohol to keep myself in check and she understood that and it didn't bother her but that she doesn't enjoy drinking and so it is something she doesn't share with me. She also said that occasionally I seem to drink a lot more than other times.
I would never bother denying that. Sometimes I drink more because I am feeling stressed, election cycles(haha), and because I like the shape of a type of bottle and I want some for my next beer. I enjoy drinking, and I control myself well.
Since we were talking about serious stuff, I went ahead and asked her about questions and talked to her about other things while we were playing psychotherapy time. We talked about a lot of stuff that we hadn't talked about in recent months.
My wife and I have very open dialogue when we have problems, and we rarely have any sort of problems.
In the end, my being sick and taking it as a sudden attack when I was making jokes about apocalyptic zombie land time was more the issue than any real one.
Another thing I might note is that I never considered my drinking problematic before yesterday. No one had ever said to me that I was drinking too much or excessively, so I never really thought about it. I guess I never considered that there were even other people who only drank 2-3 beers or that that gave them a buzz. I am going to make a poll in a few minutes because I am really interested in just how much other people drink now.
The people I know usually fall into two categories: People who drink and those who don't. Those who don't might have the occasional beer, but those who do almost all drink beer at around the same level as me. It is possible that I have surrounded myself with alcoholics, but if that is the case then a huge portion of the world needs to attend AA.
I noticed that someone said this probably isn't the right forum to ask for advice about this. If a beer forum isn't the place to ask advice about something that involves drinking, then where is? It isn't like I couldn't work this out on my own, but sometimes it helps to just get responses and different ideas from all sorts of people. I got extremes, the middle, and some out there ones here and they helped me lead my thoughts in directions to consider possibilities.
Once again, I appreciate everyone's comments and suggestions.
CastleHollow
Well-Known Member
Glad it worked out for you, sometimes those can be difficult discussions
BreezyBrew
IPA is my spirit animal
If you make her feel like she is the most important thing in your life, that seems to work for me regardless of how much I drank. I think she has other issues which is why I think she is all bossy now.
You don't drink too much... don't try and take a stand, just treat her great and she will subside. Do everything you can to make things special, and you will reap the benefit. And I'm not talking about dinner on a sat night. Unexpected things go a long way and what they look for.
You don't drink too much... don't try and take a stand, just treat her great and she will subside. Do everything you can to make things special, and you will reap the benefit. And I'm not talking about dinner on a sat night. Unexpected things go a long way and what they look for.
Sweet. The thread went full circle and, in my opinion, had a happy ending.
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