It sounds like you're on your way to reinventing the "KeyKeg". It's a dispensing method for real ale that's even been approved by our self-appointed beer police (CAMRA) since artificially produced CO2 does not come into contact with the beer.
Not even keykeg - you can get beer in bag-in-box. It's not ideal, but 20l bag-in-box is the standard format for "flat/real" cider in the UK wholesale trade (see them at any beer festival) and small breweries that can't afford kegging equipment use them as the "party" size for retail customers, it's convenient as it doesn't need any further equipment.
I don't know what it's like Stateside, but you would be able to get them as flatpacks ready to go from a commercial brewing supplies place - but possible in greater number than you wanted, might be worth chatting up any cideries in your neck of the woods to see if they can let you have just a few.
As you indicate, they're a bit of a nightmare to bag-condition in as any slight movement of the bag disturbs the yeast - you might want a really hard-floccing yeast like WLP002 or WLP030, and there's a bit of an art to juggling it so that the yeast stays away from the tap. Maybe glue the floor of the bag to the floor of the box, might protect a bit against slight ripples of the bag kicking up yeast?
The alternative, which is what breweries here generally do, is to rack off the yeast and then bag it brite, in which case the life expectancy is about a week rather than 2-3 weeks. But that's good enough for the typical one-off party use.
Also this week CAMRA finally dropped their opposition to cask breathers, which is great news for the quality of cask beer in Britain. Actively promoting oxidation of beer just seemed daft even by CAMRA standards.
One final thing - a sparkler is not compulsory. As long as it's not too busy, a good pub (ie not one serving Abbot
) will have no problem taking the sparkler off to pour your pint. They will think you're daft but will make allowances for ignorant foreigners and southerners. Sparklers come in different sizes and there's quite an art in using different sizes for different beers, or even the same beer at different stages of condition.