Making friends as an adult SUCKS!

[Steelers77]

I like you ubermick!

 

[JonW]

We have a couple friends that are just "kid friends". You know, people you hang with only because they also have kids. Not that they aren't nice or anything, but 90% of them are people I wouldn't hang out with normally because we don't share common interests. The point being that having kids doesn't mean you'll have meaningful friendships with people. If anything, I sometimes dread seeing them and having to pretend to be someone I'm not just so conversation isn't awkward. One couple is LDS, so I can't even tell them I brew.

LDS folks need to accept others for who they are. I would be telling them how much fun I have brewing!

I'm pretty lucky with the relationships we've built with the parents of our kids friends. We like to hang out, drink beer and BS. We have many multi-family get-togethers and all the parents get along and so do the kids. It works pretty good.

Your world changes when you have kids. Hopefully your kids are smart enough to pick some new, good friends for you!

 

[GregR]

have you thought about joining a co-ed softball league or something like that where you and the SWMBO could both play? a friend and I did that and we made some great friends. it's a damn good time on the field and everyone usually wants to go get drinks after the game.

 

[jimmystewart]

Here's a suggestion that nobody has made yet: Get a dog. (If it fits in your life, of course.) It's a great catalyst for meeting new people. Walk it in your neighborhood, or go to dog parks... That's how my 'swmbo' and I have met all our new friends after moving to a new area.

Hope that helps...

 

[stevo155]

Here's a suggestion that nobody has made yet: Get a dog. (If it fits in your life, of course.) It's a great catalyst for meeting new people. Walk it in your neighborhood, or go to dog parks... That's how my 'swmbo' and I have met all our new friends after moving to a new area.

Hope that helps...

Better yet...get a puppy and hang out on college campuses.

 

[bubbachunk]

I will be going through a similar situation. I am moving down to Arkansas knowing nobody for my first real job. I have already searched for homebrew clubs and there is only one in central AR (2 hours away) and nothing on the meet up site, who knows Ill figure it out eventually

 

[Laughing_Gnome_Invisible]

Does your town have a tall clock tower? You should be able to thin out the child population from there, especially if it's near a playground. Then all those childless couples will have more time for you.

 

[BoatsAndBrews]

What part of California? I live in san Diego, near mission bay. I could use a beer buddy.

 

[Brewing Clamper]

We have a couple friends that are just "kid friends". You know, people you hang with only because they also have kids. Not that they aren't nice or anything, but 90% of them are people I wouldn't hang out with normally because we don't share common interests. The point being that having kids doesn't mean you'll have meaningful friendships with people. If anything, I sometimes dread seeing them and having to pretend to be someone I'm not just so conversation isn't awkward. One couple is LDS, so I can't even tell them I brew.

Dude, I feel ya... I pretty much phased the "kid only" friends out for better kid friends. We actually met a couple through a friend of my son's that is really cool and I think now we hang out more than the kids! Oh, and pardon my ignorance, but what is an LDS couple?

 

[flyboy]

I understand where you're coming from. Even though we have kids, we moved to a neighborhood where 90% of the population is retired. If the kids are Jr. High or younger, it's hard to have friends over. But, once they hit High school, it got a lot easier. We started meeting up with friends at a local bar where my daughters can get in. (Arizona law allows this until 8pm). Then, if I drink too much, my oldest drives me home. She's under 21 and can't drink so that's pretty cool. My other friends do the same. Then, when 8pm rolls around, we go back to my place and BS for a couple of hours trying my beer. Kids drive the parents home around 9:30-10 and we're all cool. I have to get up around 5am for work so that's about as late as I can stay up anyway.

JonW - I live next to a LDS church. The funny thing was, when I started brewing, the women sent the missionaries over to try to convert me. Their husbands though? The wives give me angry stares and the husbands are like, "Hey, Lyle. What are you brewing this weekend? I may drop by and watch that." None have tried my beer, yet, but they like to hang out and ask about how to brew beer and BS with the rest of us. One of the guys that hang out is a retired Phoenix police detective. His wife came over and asked him if he was going to do anything about me because I was "making moonshine." He casually leans over, looks in the brewpot, and says, "Looks like beer, to me, I'll take care of it when it turns into moonshine."

 

[EarthBound]

I second joining a homebrew club.

So he can meet other losers like you?

 

[andysim]

I feel your pain also. I lived in the same city for for the first 43 years of my life. I moved from a neighborhood that was full of 30-45 years olds. We all had kids about the same age. Everyone drank beers around the fire on Friday and Saturday nights. I played in a golf league every week and played poker about every two weeks.

The place where I work now is small and almost everyone there lives out of town.

However, I am spending much more time with my wife and kids, which is a good thing. And I am attending the local homebrew meetings here.

I have only been here about three months and still do not have any new friends besides work people.

 

[Denny330]

I will be going through a similar situation. I am moving down to Arkansas knowing nobody for my first real job. I have already searched for homebrew clubs and there is only one in central AR (2 hours away) and nothing on the meet up site, who knows Ill figure it out eventually

Where are you moving in AR? I grew up in southern AR. It is not terrible. Pretty nice place actually.

 

[user 40839]

However, I am spending much more time with my wife and kids, which is a good thing. And I am attending the local homebrew meetings here.

I have only been here about three months and still do not have any new friends besides work people.

The sad thing is, I work from home so can't even meet people at the office. So far, the few people I've met around here have been fellow brewers. I agree with spending more time with the wife tho... although after all this time, that's starting to wear thin...

 

[Yuri_Rage]

I actually did make not just a friend but a welding instructor and brewing mentor on here, who lives an hour up the road in Sebastapol.

Slightly late in the reply, but .... color me jealous! I've been wanting free welding lessons for years! I'd gladly be the brew mentor in exchange! (best Napoleon Dynamite voice) Luckeeeee!

 

[shamrockdoc]

I'm telling you those kid people especially the guys want you to build a man-cave with kegged homebrew and satellite with every game known to man. It will bring the women together to talk about how there men are being corrupted by your free spirited ways to your wife while you lock the man-cave and the dads get chilled on beer and sports. Teach them to brew then guide them to the hobby. Next thing you know you have your own brew crew and life is good.....then you have a kid and everything will change.

 

[user 40839]

Mwahahaha, true. But I'd feel so... used!! (I already have a brother in law who has two kids who likes to come over, fill up a couple of growlers, hang out for a little bit, and then disappear! )

 

[shamrockdoc]

BiL are usually ******-rockets but invest in your man-future by teaching them to brew ....then they will steal there balls back and be the men that women want. CONAN cannot be wrong!

 

[user 40839]

Sham, I can't begin to describe the lack of nuts this fella has. His wife keeps them in a velvet bag she wears around her neck, and likes to show them off at holidays. He actually let our dog be accused of barking at his six month old for no reason, and had him banned from family events (what actually happened was that the dog was lying asleep, he was supposed to be minding the kid, who was crawling around, made his way over to the mutt, and grabbed a handful of skin/fur, causing him to yelp and bark in surprise.)

 

[shamrockdoc]

OMFG so many guy codes have been broken. Don't invite him to the cave. You don't mess with a mans dog ...ever!

 

[Frodo]

You don't mess with a mans dog ...ever!

Agreed.