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It's a homebrew thing... you wouldn't understand.

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Gross.

It's bottled and a high-finished, hot fermented, untreated tap water (chlorine), scorched LME (that had a best by date of 2009), mess of a beer.

That was before I found HBT.

Negative Ghost Rider, the pattern is full.

You have the patience of a saint.... DUMP IT!!!!

Those bottles are being punished, they could be filled with something way better.
 
how about:
You come home from work to find empty bottles on your doorstep from your neighbors like a drunken milkman exchange

or:
you wake up in the hospital after a week in a coma. You are more concerned with what your friends did with your 5 batches of beer you had fermenting than where you are or why you are in the hospital
 
6. Non-brewers have a different interpretation of the term "brewing." I had this conversation with a co-worker recently:
Co-worker: "How long does it take to brew a batch of beer?"
Me: "About 4 hours."
Co: "Cool. So you can brew in the morning and start drinking it in the afternoon?"
Me: "Well, no, it has to ferment a few weeks. Then I bottle it and it takes some time to carbonate. So, about a month or more, grain to glass."
Co: "Oh...not much instant gratification in that hobby, is there?"

That is why we have a pipeline of beer waiting for us. :tank:
 
I didn't expect to become so picky about beer. To me, almost all commercial "craft beer" is bland, overpriced, and not worth drinking.
Ok, there are plenty of exceptions, but I didn't realize how much mediocre beer is being served, sold and consumed.

For sure. I didn't realize how much beer can completely change for the better from being flat and room temp to cold and carbonated. Also, how much the flavor changes over time.
 
You have the patience of a saint.... DUMP IT!!!!

Those bottles are being punished, they could be filled with something way better.

Yeah... I keg now, don't really need the bottles, hence the procrastination.
 
I tell SWMBO with the start of every batch:

"If something were to happen to me, make sure you figure out how to finish the process and bottle. The Batch is going to be great and I want to be remembered for it"

Fortunately I am still here,
Unfortunately none of my batches have been legacy builders!
 
You have enough Flasks, tubing, various glassware, and funnels to make the neighbors question wether or not you are cooking meth.

You just can't bring yourself to throw that mayo jar away b/c you just know it will come in handy later for yeast storage, even though you already have more jars than you will ever need.

This. My neighbors call me the alchemist, ha!

The majority of the "frequently visited pages" that tile a new tab of firefox or chrome are homebrewing related. Just looked at mine, out of 15 tiles 12 of them are HB
 
I find home brewing has changed the way I look at schedules. I'm much more likely to think long-term now. Things don't really sneak up on me anymore. I plan things months in advance.
 
I find that I do the dishes far more often than I used to so I can get access to the kitchen sink. I also think I mush have the cleanest, most sanitary kitchen sink, garbage disposal and drain from dumping PBW and Starsan down it on a regular basis.
 
6) I became a master drinker on brew days.
 
you constantly have to explain that your copper immersion chiller is not, in fact, a "worm" and you have no relation to this "Tickles" character. Hell, you don't even moonshine and why yes, homebrewing is perfectly legal
 
you constantly have to explain that your copper immersion chiller is not, in fact, a "worm" and you have no relation to this "Tickles" character. Hell, you don't even moonshine and why yes, homebrewing is perfectly legal

I've had to defend my copper immersion chiller several times as I've had some construction going on in my basement and several people going in and out. I don't think they believed me at all.
 
I was brewing in the back yard once, listening to my headphones as I gradually become aware of a voice saying "Sir! Excuse me SIR!" I turn around and there are two cops leaning over the gate trying to get my attention.

"What's the problem officer?" I ask.
"We got a call about suspicious activity in one of these back yards." Both cops and my eyes drift over to the boiling 10 gallon pot and copper immersion chiller.
"...." Silence from me, wondering where this is going.
Long moment of silence before one of them says, "You brewing beer?"
"Yes, I am," Says I trying to get my heart rate under control.
"Well, don't do anything suspicious in a month or two and we won't be back to try it," says one as they walk away. I got busted by a cop who actually has some familiarity with home brewing, my lucky day.
 
You have to explain weird assortments of parts at the hardware store.

You have to ask if a fitting is really stainless or just chrome plated.

You have to explain why you don't have any more space in your laundry room because you have over 200 beer bottles.
 
Just get into the habit of making her a "special" brew to be tapped on her bday and your anniversary, and problem solved.

She has a strong dislike for any kind of beer.

Her standard response is "I guess I can see why you like that... but it would be better if it was colder."

"Woman, my kegerator is set at 35°... it doesn't get much colder than that. If this glass had mountains on it, they would be blue as ****."
 
She has a strong dislike for any kind of beer.

Her standard response is "I guess I can see why you like that... but it would be better if it was colder."

"Woman, my kegerator is set at 35°... it doesn't get much colder than that. If this glass had mountains on it, they would be blue as ****."

start making cider or apfelwein?
 
I've got the opposite problem. When I met my wife, she turned her nose up at anything that wasn't bourbon or scotch. Now I've got her hooked on IIPA's. I've been working hard trying to come up with a 3-4% ABV hop bomb (for myself) and finally got one where I wanted it. I hand her a glass,beaming with pride, and she wrinkles her nose saying "It smells okay. Just kind of thin tasting. Needs more hops, too. Is there any of that good beer you made left?"
 
You have to explain why you don't have any more space in your laundry room because you have over 200 beer bottles.


This is what prompted my wife to get me kegs. She got fed up with my policy of "flat surface = great place to dry/store empty bottles". Im pretty sure she was more happy when I told her we could recycle all the bottles (still have a few stashed away) than she was on our wedding day hahaha
 
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