CreamyGoodness
Well-Known Member
When reading the paper online I always spend a bit of time hovering over whatever genius is handing out advice under an assumed name. For your viewing pleasure I have assembled another list of observations that have me almost convinced that society is falling apart at the seams.
1) There are no qualifications listed to be an advice columnist. Dear Margo has been married 6 times (and has kept all of the rings and gifts that came from her 5 failed experiments), had children but "was never very fond of kids", can barely use a computer (and brags about it, because if there is one thing I adore it's pride taken in ignorance), has had few if any other jobs other than being an advice columnist and, as far as I know, has never gone to college. She gives advice on romance/marriage, childcare, employment/workplace issues, and education. Seeing as how you not only have to no know much on a subject but you can be the exact opposite of knowledgable on a subject in order to doll out advice, I have taken her lead and I, at this moment, have become a vegan nutritionist, a basketball coach, and a Catholic nun.
2) People make mistakes. I might have made a mistake in writing this and thinking you would read it. People who make mistakes often need advice to right these wrongs. However, the majority of people who write in seem to be vile, obnoxious gits who want someone to defend whatever undefendable position they are in to a public who seems to want to hear it.
"I'm dying, should I write my mistress of 20 years into my will?" and "Why does my husband always play the tv too softly and why does everybody mumble these days?" both have obvious answers. If you need an advice columnist to answer them for you, I suggest signing over power of attorney to someone who isnt a yutz.
3) If you have sustained a trauma in the past or have a diagnosed mental illness, seek therapy. Ctrl+c Ctrl+v. Done. Next letter. Not that I dont feel sympathy, but isnt this advice obvious?
4) Dear Prudence writes for Slate magazine. Slate magazine is somewhere to the left of not only myself but of Vladamir Lenin. People have actually written her to ask how to get their son to stop seeing an African American woman, how to "politely" tell a gay neighbor they dont approve of his lifestyle, and "what should I do, my pre-schooler's teacher is pregnant and unmarried!"
*pause*... Now that I have stopped twitching and bleeding from the ears....
I'm not going to come right out and say that the content of their letters is idiotic (I'm just going to imply it) but know what you are getting into before you write a letter to someone. That would be like calling in to the 700 Club asking how best to integrate an African American Satanist Communist college kid wearing a Darwin T-Shirt into Bob Jones University. Its almost as dumb as asking Dear Margo... anything.
and finally (for now) 5) It seems like the best advice any of these folks give somehow involves a casserole. I can totally do that. Casseroles are delicious.
Sigh. It will pass...
1) There are no qualifications listed to be an advice columnist. Dear Margo has been married 6 times (and has kept all of the rings and gifts that came from her 5 failed experiments), had children but "was never very fond of kids", can barely use a computer (and brags about it, because if there is one thing I adore it's pride taken in ignorance), has had few if any other jobs other than being an advice columnist and, as far as I know, has never gone to college. She gives advice on romance/marriage, childcare, employment/workplace issues, and education. Seeing as how you not only have to no know much on a subject but you can be the exact opposite of knowledgable on a subject in order to doll out advice, I have taken her lead and I, at this moment, have become a vegan nutritionist, a basketball coach, and a Catholic nun.
2) People make mistakes. I might have made a mistake in writing this and thinking you would read it. People who make mistakes often need advice to right these wrongs. However, the majority of people who write in seem to be vile, obnoxious gits who want someone to defend whatever undefendable position they are in to a public who seems to want to hear it.
"I'm dying, should I write my mistress of 20 years into my will?" and "Why does my husband always play the tv too softly and why does everybody mumble these days?" both have obvious answers. If you need an advice columnist to answer them for you, I suggest signing over power of attorney to someone who isnt a yutz.
3) If you have sustained a trauma in the past or have a diagnosed mental illness, seek therapy. Ctrl+c Ctrl+v. Done. Next letter. Not that I dont feel sympathy, but isnt this advice obvious?
4) Dear Prudence writes for Slate magazine. Slate magazine is somewhere to the left of not only myself but of Vladamir Lenin. People have actually written her to ask how to get their son to stop seeing an African American woman, how to "politely" tell a gay neighbor they dont approve of his lifestyle, and "what should I do, my pre-schooler's teacher is pregnant and unmarried!"
*pause*... Now that I have stopped twitching and bleeding from the ears....
I'm not going to come right out and say that the content of their letters is idiotic (I'm just going to imply it) but know what you are getting into before you write a letter to someone. That would be like calling in to the 700 Club asking how best to integrate an African American Satanist Communist college kid wearing a Darwin T-Shirt into Bob Jones University. Its almost as dumb as asking Dear Margo... anything.
and finally (for now) 5) It seems like the best advice any of these folks give somehow involves a casserole. I can totally do that. Casseroles are delicious.
Sigh. It will pass...
