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I suck at cooking. Please help.

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I'm a big fan of America's Test Kitchen and Cook's Country on PBS. Both shows are the same people doing good recipes, as easy as possible. They tell you why they do it that way as opposed to the traditional way and often explain the science behind how something works.


I second that one. Americas test kitchen and cooks country are great. The wife and i always watch them, and in some odd way i feel like im better at cooking after every episode.
What i have learned is to add your seasonings early on in the cooking process. I dont typically use a lot of seasonings in my dishes, because i have the same issue of over seasoning. When you add salt and your other seasonings in the beginning of the cooking process, like right when it gets in the pan, then the seasonings get processed better. But if you forget your seasonings and try to add them all at the end, then everything is going to be over seasoned. So if you forget to add your seasonings in the beginning and have to add them in the end, scale back the seasonings so that it wont be cloyingly over seasoned. I still have a lot to learn in the kitchen, but i have been getting better because the wife... nuff said
 
I started cooking here and there in high school, mainly because I liked the aspect of making things, same reason I like brewing. I wasn't great at cooking immediately (except for omelets, for some reason I have always been able to do that).

Since I enjoyed cooking, I watched decent amount of cooking shows, nothing in particular, just whatever was on when I got a chance to watch TV. Eventually I went to college and had to cook for myself every day. Being in college, I learned to cook with cheap ingredients, which indirectly teaches you that fresh ingredients are key. Processed foods are the worst.

I have been out of college for 3 years now and do all of the cooking for my wife and myself (because I like to cook, and am good at it). All of this practice makes me better and better. I have a good sense of what flavors go together and what amounts of ingredients to add to get a certain flavor.

Just like brewing, if I want to make something new, I look at a few recipes to get the general feel for how a dish should come together. Just like brewing, I would recommend you start with the basics: dishes with a handful of ingredients and a few steps.

Also, realize that going from below grade to excellent at anything takes time, patience, practice, and dedication. Watch some cooking shows, read some recipes, and practice.

Keep your head up, you'll get there.
 
Take a class or three. Take one with your wife. They're fun.

Have your wife teach you some common dishes your family enjoys.

Pick a single meal and cook it every week until it's second nature....then expand your options.

Guys love to know the why & how.... Alton Brown, Good Eats is great for this.

when in doubt, under season.

Taste, taste, taste. When cooking, sample what you're doing. When eating someone else's food, think about what it REALLY tastes like and try to deconstruct the ingredients. Ask questions if you can. Most chef's love to talk about their dishes.

Do you evaluate beer? Approach food the same way.

Practice.

Oh...and cook what you know. My wife was a 100% non-cook when we started dating. Seriously...ramen and instant oatmeal was the pinnacle of her culinary ability. She tried to make stuffed bell peppers for me, having never eaten a stuffed pepper. Served the pepper raw not realizing they were to be baked after stuffing with the meat, sauce and rice. It's tough to be successful if you dont know the mark you're trying to hit.
 
My suggestions.

Ask to help your wife, ask her to teach you a few staple recipes and have her show you what to do. That way you can have at least a couple recipes that will work out.

Start with something simple and easy. Spaghetti and sauce is hard to beat. Just make sure to use enough water when you boil the noodles (it will prevent sticking). There is no shame in the staples.

Have you considered one of those services like Plated, or Blue Apron, etc. They ship you the ingredients and recipes and directions to your door at a reasonable price. I haven't done one yet, but hear that they can be a good introduction to cooking good food. Just stick to the recipes. They are kind of like high quality beer kits. Could be a good learning tool.

I also will echo the senitment of taking a cooking class is not necessarily a bad thing. Taking one (even in secret) and surprising your wife with a nice tasty home cooked meal could yield... happy results.
 
I second that one. Americas test kitchen and cooks country are great. The wife and i always watch them, and in some odd way i feel like im better at cooking after every episode.
What i have learned is to add your seasonings early on in the cooking process. I dont typically use a lot of seasonings in my dishes, because i have the same issue of over seasoning. When you add salt and your other seasonings in the beginning of the cooking process, like right when it gets in the pan, then the seasonings get processed better. But if you forget your seasonings and try to add them all at the end, then everything is going to be over seasoned. So if you forget to add your seasonings in the beginning and have to add them in the end, scale back the seasonings so that it wont be cloyingly over seasoned. I still have a lot to learn in the kitchen, but i have been getting better because the wife... nuff said

I would also recommend these programs. The cookbooks also contain the how and why of doing key procedures for the recipes.
 
The wife does, she can cook without recipe and it will come out great......

Mine does the same thing, it pi$$es me off royaly 'cause I can't do the same thing. Every time she does it I tell her she needs to write it down so I can make it in the future. She can read a recipe and "tune it up" in her head before ever cooking it once. Always comes out great. I can't do that ,wish I could...
 
Start simple, just don't show her your recipe:

Brown pork chops in a skillet + add a can of cream of mushroom soup + throw in oven + serve with smashed potatoes and chives.
 
Agree with the America's Test Kitchen & Cook's Country reco's--they really do a lot of testing for every recipe, plus they give scientific explanations for why things go wrong (or right). Sara Moulton's show is pretty good also. She has a recipe for buffalo chicken & rice with blue cheese that's a repeat favorite.
 
Thanks for the advice everyone.
Although I am a little disappointed that nobody suggested I was actually a good cook and that my wife's standards are absurd. :)
 
My wife has recently admitted that my cooking skills are non existent and anytime I announce that I am cooking something, she dreads eating it. It has gotten so bad that when she doesn't feel like cooking she will often resort to really crappy fast food over my cooking. She says my 2 main problems are over-seasoning, not seasoning at the correct times, and not working off recipes when I should be. I'm even bad at grilling meat, although I am limited by a really crappy gas grill.

Most guys would say no big deal, just let the wife do all the cooking, but I actually enjoy cooking. I make really good tex mex food & have several chili recipes that I do well. But those are all things you can over season and not ruin. I also like to be able to provide some relief in the kitchen at night, when she has had a rough day, or the kids want to hang from her like leaches.

She suggested a cooking course, but that seems like overkill for someone who isn't trying to become a master chef. I'm just trying to pick up on some basics. What do you all suggest? Any you tube channels? books? actual classes?

How can you season at the wrong times? Overseasoning I get, but at the wrong time? Aside from a long build up dish or putting in fresh herbs into a sauce too early, I can't think of when that can happen.

As far as grilling goes. Having a crappy gas grill is one of the few killers. Crappy coal is still simple but if you're not getting enough or unpredictable heat from gas, that's rough to overcome. I would correct that with a better gas grill or a charcoal grill.

With overseasoning, that's easily correctable for most, keep tasting as you season. Also it could be an issue where she may be more sensitive to things so maybe taste with her so she can tell you when she thinks it's properly seasoned so you have a reference point. My better example for this involves my kind of spicy vs. other peoples. When I make wings I'll often make 2-3 sauces one for me and others who enjoy spicy foods. One fore people who like moderate spice and one for weenies. That last is only ever an issue if my dad is involved.

I got much better at cooking by watching great chefs good. Watch Mario Batali, Michael Symon, Bobby Flay, etc. cook. You may never even sniff being as close as good as them, but they'll teach you many things that are invaluable.
 
America's test kitchen and cooks country have tried and true tested recipes that made me the mediocre cook to a pretty solid batting .900 cook that my wife likes so much she makes me cook every night guy.

Be careful dude, maybe SHE doesn't want to cook haha. And dude, as a brewer, I think your cooking will improve as you brew as well.
 
As far as grilling goes. Having a crappy gas grill is one of the few killers. Crappy coal is still simple but if you're not getting enough or unpredictable heat from gas, that's rough to overcome. I would correct that with a better gas grill or a charcoal grill.

+1

I've still got a crappy gas grill but I got way better at grilling after figuring out how the grill heats (finding the hot spots, how hot it actually gets, etc)
 
I prefer wood or charcoal with wood pieces on it in a closed grill. Like the rectangular pits or the kettle style ones like bbq pit boys use on youtube. Check them out if you wanna learn some basic bbq skills. I started learning from dad when I was 8 or 9, so it's been 50 years. Long story short, heat on one side, meat on the other. Dry rubs are a lot of fun. Keep some apple juice in a spray bottle to keep big chunks of meat, like ribs, chuck roasts, chickens, turkey, etc moist. Or use a brush with some mop sauce. Mop sauces are not bbq, or "finishing" sauce. They're rather watery & strictly intended for moistening, & even being seasoned to add another layer of flavor. Seems to me I listed my mop sauce recipe that uses a bottle of Cooper's English Bitter as a base in the cooking forum. The seasonings to take it easy on are salt, black & red pepper mainly. You can always add more, but too much to start with kills it. Herbs, spices & the like are not wax on, wax off. You learn by doing, just like beer, cameras, driving, & many other things.
 
+1

I've still got a crappy gas grill but I got way better at grilling after figuring out how the grill heats (finding the hot spots, how hot it actually gets, etc)

Exactly. I just retired my gasser for a kamado, but I did the same. Different burners on high would reach wildly different temps. The areas between the flavor bars were a lot hotter than above the flavor bars. The back was a lot hotter than the front. Gotta know when and how to move food to ensure things heat evenly and properly.

And as I already said, an instant-read thermometer is key. I just went to the SoCal Homebrew Fest last weekend, and on the first night cooked four tri-tips on an infrared grill I'd never used before. I used the thermometer liberally and cooked great meat that everyone raved about.
 
How can you season at the wrong times? Overseasoning I get, but at the wrong time? Aside from a long build up dish or putting in fresh herbs into a sauce too early, I can't think of when that can happen.

...

There is the element of chemistry in cooking. When, and in what order you add seasoning or ingredients can have a huge effect on the finished dish, in my experience. Particularly with baking.

Really not so different from brewing. For example, I frequently cook black beans. If I salt the water they toughen up and stay like pebbles, so I have to add the salt after they are done.

Another eurika moment was understanding the chemistry involved in braising meats.

Practice, practice, practice... And look up "Mother sauces" on the Internet. Pick one per week and experiment with the variations. You'll quickly recognize how useful they are.

As others have said, YouTube is your friend. I also like King Arthur Flour's website for great baking recipes and knowledge.
 
All great advice thus far. A few additional thoughts- find a mentor. I love to cook, and would be thrilled to show someone how, especially if they are liberal in cleaning up. A laser thermometer- knowing the exact temperature of your pan, grill, etc is important- there can be huge differences in temp even across a single burner! Finally, like brewing, start simple. Blackened fish takes a deft, experienced hand. Grilled chicken with a beer cream sauce, easy. Bourdain says everyone should know how to: Chopping an onion • Making an omelet • Roasting a chicken• The correct way to grill and rest a steak• Cooking vegetables to desired doneness• Making a vinaigrette
• Shop for fresh produce• Buying a fish, cleaning it, and making it• Roasting meat• Roasting and mashing potatoes• Braising meats and vegetables• What to do with bones (a.k.a. How to make stock

This is a great list. I am always shocked how many restaurants make crappy omelettes- so easy and so delicious when done well. If you can roast a turkey well, you don't need tons of seasoning- flavor comes from technique plus recipe.

Good luck!
 
There is the element of chemistry in cooking. When, and in what order you add seasoning or ingredients can have a huge effect on the finished dish, in my experience. Particularly with baking.

Really not so different from brewing. For example, I frequently cook black beans. If I salt the water they toughen up and stay like pebbles, so I have to add the salt after they are done.

Another eurika moment was understanding the chemistry involved in braising meats.

Practice, practice, practice... And look up "Mother sauces" on the Internet. Pick one per week and experiment with the variations. You'll quickly recognize how useful they are.

As others have said, YouTube is your friend. I also like King Arthur Flour's website for great baking recipes and knowledge.

Cooking and baking are 2 totally different monsters. I don't compare the 2 for a reason. If he was referring to baking with seasoning at the wrong time, then that's a different monster. There are certain things you don't want to season at certain times. Like eggs you shouldn't salt before cooking. Things like that. But that's not common. And you shouldn't season anything you're boiling until their done but pasta. It changes the boiling temperature.

Mother sauces I find interesting. I only use bechamel regularly. But they're all basically the same with just a few different things.
 
Crappy grill is overcome by learning your grill - I've done filets on my $30 tabletop gas grill on my boat. Sure, one side is a furnace and the other is an icebox -as long as you know that, it doesn't matter. Adapt to the equipment.

I cooked pro for over a decade. The way to learn is to practice. With seasoning, it's a lot like beer - sure it's fun to use 27 hops and 14 crystal malts - but the really good recipes are usually simple.

Go to the store, buy what looks best and freshest. Great cooking is great ingredients done simply.

If you truly suck, look up some of the American standby caserole dishes - get a Southern Living or Better Homes cookbook. Campbells soup recipes. One pan dishes that can be done in a crock pot. Stuff you can't mess up. Soups, stews and chili are all pretty easy as well. Pasta primavera looks good and is super easy.

Here's some other pointers - get some good extra virgin olive oil, real butter, kosher salt, coarse ground black pepper. Cut up your ingredients so they are similar sized and will cook at similar times.
 
Youtube is good, there are some really good basics videos out there by big names like Gordon Ramsay and Jamie Oliver that are aimed at covering the ground floor of cooking

I strongly second this. Some of us may prefer to introduce Gordon Ramsay to our baseball bats, but his series "Gordon Ramsay's Ultimate Cookery Course" is truly great for aspiring chefs. Extremely tasty and professional looking dishes but he takes you through the process step by step and gives valuable cooking tips that you'd only get from a very seasoned chef.

At least watch one of his vids to see for yourself.
 
Ramsay knows food. He hates people, but he knows food.

Yeah, if your grill sucks, get a Weber or a Weber knockoff. You can get a great charcoal grill for under $100. People smoke comp level meats on those things.
 
Practice makes perfect. Even just following recipes for a while will give you an idea about how ingredients come together.
If you run across a Witbier recipe that calls for six ounces of Warrior at 60 minutes, you know there's something wrong. Use known recipes for a while to get a feel for ratios. You'll soon be able to at least determine that you should check a few other recipes for comparison if something seems off.

You like cooking, so have fun with it. Get the French Laundry cookbook and have at it. JK, JK !!
 
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