harleybug88
Well-Known Member
That one time I was so drunk that I ......
I remember
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hunter_le five
Sheriff Underscore
...woke up in a bush the next morning, still in my Halloween costume, my cell phone smashed, having drunkenly stumbled 2 miles in the wrong direction from the bar before passing out.
I only lived a couple blocks away from the bar. It was also several days before Halloween.
It was an interesting walk back.
I only lived a couple blocks away from the bar. It was also several days before Halloween.
It was an interesting walk back.
...didn't remember anything afterwards!!!
Grannyknot
Well-Known Member
....was standing in a parking lot smoking a cigarette. Started to tip over, so started running trying to "catch up with myself", ran into the side of a bmw, smashed my cigarette against my face and burned a hole in my cheek where there is still a scar to this day 15 days later.
Just kidding, that was 15 years ago.
Just kidding, that was 15 years ago.
Cheesy_Goodness
Well-Known Member
...did a set of pushups while vomiting (allegedly).
Pretty sure that counts as double the calorie burn.
Pretty sure that counts as double the calorie burn.
Psylocide
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... woke up in bed with another girl in her apartment with my then-girlfriend standing over me. Passed back out, thought it was a dream. She wouldn't answer my calls the next day, had to remind me of what happened.
Turns out the other girl's roommate knew me and was friends with my GF.
Still feel like an ******* for that one.
Turns out the other girl's roommate knew me and was friends with my GF.
Still feel like an ******* for that one.
1977Brewer
Free Dan Hess.
Awoke to my Grandfather tapping his boot on my forehead, on my porch with a 40 still duct taped to my hand and a blunt still hanging out of my mouth. My truck was "good enough" parked sideways at the end of our 1/4 mile driveway.
Found out later that someone tried to take my keys and I jumped off the porch of the house, did a donut in the yard and took off home. With the last blunt, and a full 40 taped to my hand. Apparently I'm invincible.
I was not a good person in High School.
Found out later that someone tried to take my keys and I jumped off the porch of the house, did a donut in the yard and took off home. With the last blunt, and a full 40 taped to my hand. Apparently I'm invincible.
I was not a good person in High School.
...got dropped off by the guys, woke up to my wife shaking me, asking where the HELL's YOUR F******* CAR??! I thought my buddy had stolen it, or taken it home or something. Thinking the former, I loaded a Winchester 12 gauge with Super X, & walked all the way across town. Still buzzed on blotto, weed & buckets of alcohol all night bar hopping to be any kind of intelligent. Even walked into Lawson's with it for some OJ! Then, a couple doors up from his, the cops came with guns drawn behind the car doors & all. My buddy didn't press charges, so the cops took my gun & he proceeded to explain to me what happened. Boy, did I feel a lot shorter about then. Never again! When he comes into town now, he still won't speak to me...even though he started the whole night!
...waking up to my stepfather kicking me leg on my mom's patio cradling her 95 lb pitbull Sweet Pea.
hunter_le five
Sheriff Underscore
....awoke to three wild baby javelinas running loose in the house, their incessant pitter-patter hoofbeats waking me from my drunken stupor, and instead of getting up to do anything about it, I asked them to "shut the f*ck up already", and went right back to sleep.
My brother and a buddy had gone hunting early that morning, killed a javelina, and captured three of its piglets. They thought it'd be a funny joke to release them in the house while I was asleep. Unfortunately for them, my reaction was somewhat underwhelming.
My brother and a buddy had gone hunting early that morning, killed a javelina, and captured three of its piglets. They thought it'd be a funny joke to release them in the house while I was asleep. Unfortunately for them, my reaction was somewhat underwhelming.
Psylocide
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... woke up at my buddies house the night of my 21st bday, stood up and started pissing in the bathroom.
Only it wasn't the bathroom. And I had my pants on. And I was standing right next to the couch. And my friend was sleeping on the floor, two inches from where the drain on my pant leg was.
Only it wasn't the bathroom. And I had my pants on. And I was standing right next to the couch. And my friend was sleeping on the floor, two inches from where the drain on my pant leg was.
...fell out of a moving car while it was making a sharp left turn. For some reason I had the door open. I can't remember why. Luckily it was only going 15-20 MPH.
I rolled across the pavement and got back up. My buddy realized I was gone and slammed on his brakes. I started running towards the car to get back in. Right as I got to the car, he threw it in reverse to back up and get me. His door was still wide open. I ran into his open door. That knocked be back a few feet.
Laughter ensued - until the next morning when I woke up with a throbbing headache, scabs all over my body, and the hangover from hell.
I rolled across the pavement and got back up. My buddy realized I was gone and slammed on his brakes. I started running towards the car to get back in. Right as I got to the car, he threw it in reverse to back up and get me. His door was still wide open. I ran into his open door. That knocked be back a few feet.
Laughter ensued - until the next morning when I woke up with a throbbing headache, scabs all over my body, and the hangover from hell.
Something like that happened to a friend of mine. He got up in the middle of the night after a big party we had. He pissed into someone's cowboy boot, thinking it was the toilet.
The boot owner was visiting from out of town. He was sleeping on the couch. I woke up to see the guy pouring piss out of his boot and swearing.
My friend had to pony up for some new boots.
Psylocide
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Natdavis777
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...[in passenger seat of my buddies car] Tried answering my phone, but it had never rang. He told me so, so I put the phone down... Then attempted to to answer the phone again.... Yep, no one there. Then fell out of the truck. Then tried to light a cig on the muffler because I thought it was "hot" enough and I didnt have a lighter...
Natdavis777
Well-Known Member
....Decided to drive home from a bar with a friend (whom wasnt, but is currently a cop) and thought it was smart to slow down on 31 to "see" if the car coming up on me was a cop. It wasnt. I dont condone that night either.
I was a fu*king idiot in my early 20s
I was a fu*king idiot in my early 20s
I remember when me & my buddies were teens, his grandpa had given him a truly cherry '60 Lasaber. Burgundy with factory A/C & nice chrome. So one weekend, we were all out partying, also had weed & crystal T among all sorts of alcohol. For some reason, my vision had turned kaleidoscopic? And my buddy then asked ME to drive? Yeah, that'll work. I was doing about 30MPH, trying to decide which image in my kaleidoscopic insect's view was the right one! Talk about sweating bullets to each house to drop everyone off, then to his place!...
... blacked out. The last thing I remember from that night was watching the half-full tumbler of Bacardi 151 (the second of the night) falling out of my hand in slow motion. The next memory is of waking up at 5 AM in the bathtub, with my father and my roommate scowling down at me. I apparently has not only puked on every surface in our living room and my bedroom, including the ceilings somehow, but had also called nearly everyone I knew sometime between 1AM and 3AM, spouting inebriated nonsense at them.
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...gave my keys to my friend and then proceeded to run down the street without shoes trying to get to Wendy's...not my proudest moment
Hamaki
Well-Known Member
...passed out about noon next to the river on my side in the sun. Woke up a few hours later looking kinda like a red & white version of Frank Gorshin. Other guys with me enjoyed it for the rest of the weekend. I didn't fully appreciate it till I got home to a mirror.
Cheesy_Goodness
Well-Known Member
Anyone ever been this bad off?
[ame]https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ED75tzHIFok[/ame]
[ame]https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ED75tzHIFok[/ame]
I don't have a story as interesting as these, and I'm STILL not telling what happened!
decided the street was as good of place as any to take a rest. Right in the middle. Well I fell and decided it would be a good spot to giveup.
Not just on crossing the street but life in general.
Freedom's just another word for nothing left to lose. You ain't got nothing if you are free.
I have a sad car accident story, but it would ruin the thread so never mind.
CreamyGoodness
Well-Known Member
Not all that drunk but I think its a pretty funny drinking story. I was at the Crescent Lounge, the watering hole where I met my now-wife. The Cress isn't a gay bar perse, but the then-owner is a gay man, and quite a few of the clientele are his friends. One of said group of friends was a rather outgoing fellow named Francis.
Im sitting next to Francis, who is having a conversation with John behind the bar, when an older gentleman comes over to chat me up. He wasn't doing anything gross or wrong, just the usual "what do you do, do you come here often..." yada yada. It didn't seem right to blurt out "hey Im straight!" since the guy wasn't exactly asking me out or flirting, but his intentions were pretty clear. Getting out of this awkward conversation would not be easy without being a total jerk.
Francis turns to me and whispers in my ear "just go along with me".
Francis stands up, looks to the man, and throws his cocktail napkin on the floor. "WHAT THE **** ARE YOU DOING TALKING TO MY BOYFRIEND WITH ME RIGHT HERE?!"
I'm not sure what the hell I should do, so I'm silent, trying not to piss myself with laughter. John's chin has not left his chest, because he doesn't want to betray the smirk on his face. "Oh Im so sorry I had no idea. I didn't mean any disrespect!" Francis tells him its ok but he needs to pay better attention. He then puts an arm around me and plants a kiss on my forehead. I'm turning purple Im trying so hard not to laugh.
Guy goes over to the couch and sits down with his drink looking pale as a ghost. I felt kind of bad for him actually. John was no damn help, he starts asking Francis about our relationship. Francis still has his arm around me, giving fake answers to where we met, how long we've been together. Only person not in on the joke is the poor bastard on the couch, and to a certain extent me, so the entire bar is cracking up.
Alas, the story has a very sad ending. A few years later Francis moved to Hawaii with the intention of "building a house in the woods". We didn't know that he was dying of AIDS and wanted to spend his last days in nature. I don't know if he ever managed to build the house, but I do know he stopped taking his medicines, and passed not long after.
We still toast to "James's boyfriend Francis" on the rare occasions the old crew get back together.
Im sitting next to Francis, who is having a conversation with John behind the bar, when an older gentleman comes over to chat me up. He wasn't doing anything gross or wrong, just the usual "what do you do, do you come here often..." yada yada. It didn't seem right to blurt out "hey Im straight!" since the guy wasn't exactly asking me out or flirting, but his intentions were pretty clear. Getting out of this awkward conversation would not be easy without being a total jerk.
Francis turns to me and whispers in my ear "just go along with me".
Francis stands up, looks to the man, and throws his cocktail napkin on the floor. "WHAT THE **** ARE YOU DOING TALKING TO MY BOYFRIEND WITH ME RIGHT HERE?!"
I'm not sure what the hell I should do, so I'm silent, trying not to piss myself with laughter. John's chin has not left his chest, because he doesn't want to betray the smirk on his face. "Oh Im so sorry I had no idea. I didn't mean any disrespect!" Francis tells him its ok but he needs to pay better attention. He then puts an arm around me and plants a kiss on my forehead. I'm turning purple Im trying so hard not to laugh.
Guy goes over to the couch and sits down with his drink looking pale as a ghost. I felt kind of bad for him actually. John was no damn help, he starts asking Francis about our relationship. Francis still has his arm around me, giving fake answers to where we met, how long we've been together. Only person not in on the joke is the poor bastard on the couch, and to a certain extent me, so the entire bar is cracking up.
Alas, the story has a very sad ending. A few years later Francis moved to Hawaii with the intention of "building a house in the woods". We didn't know that he was dying of AIDS and wanted to spend his last days in nature. I don't know if he ever managed to build the house, but I do know he stopped taking his medicines, and passed not long after.
We still toast to "James's boyfriend Francis" on the rare occasions the old crew get back together.
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