I guess I'm a drug dealer now?!

[bigbeergeek]

Sucks man, it might be worth one more try or a front yard brew sesh.

BTW, I think Polygamy Porter is an awful beer -- it's like watered down coffee.

 

[ktillman1]

RDWHAHB.....If the the cops raid you sue the hops out of them. If they come to your door asking questions invite them back when they are off duty for a home brew. Your not doing anything illegal! You have the law on your side. Let your neighbors think what they will. Cops drink beer too a lot of them brew. 99% of the time they have better things to do than respond to the nosy uneducated neighbors. I think in most cases there has to be good evidence for them to take serious action... My 2c

 

[Alucard1983]

If I was u since it is your side of the fence... Fill in the holes so they cant spy on you... Also I would brew alot more, that way if they call the cops ou can sue them with harassment. Sue the pants off them so you can buy there house. Ya, Full house to brew in. Swmbo won't bother yelling at you for making a mess.

 

[snccoulter]

But now the cops have a heads up about your "operation"

 

[prrriiide]

Host a block party. Don't invite them.

 

[Rbeckett]

Invite them for a homebrew, explain what you're doing and they'll change from suspicious to groupies.

+1 on the invite. I would wait till your brewing your next batch of "Meth" and invite them over for a couple bumps. If you do it right you will have a free watchdog. You'll never have to worry again about someone stealing a batch. A good Barley or strong Doppel Bock should do it. Just give em a good buzz and send em staggering home.
Bob

 

[SankePankey]

Is it your fence or their fence. If it's yours, paint their side of it hot pink.

 

[SittingDuck]

Well, I tried talking to them today and the guy just ignored me and went inside. I had the opportunity to talk to the local PD. The officer laughed and said. Yup you in fact have some nosy neighbors. They call the PD at least once a week about suspicious activity. Guess I'm stuck

Right, so then you can blare the music and brew nekkid. In fact, you need to start faking some cult ceremony at least once a month.

 

[Rbeckett]

As long as you are legal, ethical and moral screw em. If the invite fails, throw a big brew party and crank up the music. Some dark death goth and some racy wimmen should do just fine. Too bad you didnt know you had Barney Fife livin next door. That sucks.
Bob

 

[ao125]

I'd start brewing while wearing a gas mask, Breaking Bad style

 

[gratus fermentatio]

Bring over some ziplock bags full of corn sugar, DME, whole hops and clear rock Belgian candi sugar. Offer to sell them some.

:rockin:

Now THAT'S FUNNY!!!

 

[Homercidal]

They are just lonely, paranoid folks with no friends. Sad, really.

You should give them a "How to know if your neighbors are making meth" pamphlet. That way they can easily spot the differences between a meth lab and a homebrewing system.

I'd still invite the police over so the neighbors can see that you and the police are ok with what you are doing.

 

[DarthMalt]

Bring over some ziplock bags full of corn sugar, DME, whole hops and clear rock Belgian candi sugar. Offer to sell them some.

:rockin:

Best idea. Hands down.

 

[TheBreweryUnderground]

Right, so then you can blare the music and brew nekkid. In fact, you need to start faking some cult ceremony at least once a month.

This is exactly what I was thinking!

 

[homebeerbrewer]

I like the idea of inviting the police over when you're brewing. Get the grill out, throw some burgers on it, and tell the dispatcher that if any on duty officer wants to stop by for a free burger, they can do so. When your neighbor sees the steady flow of cops, they'll think you're selling drugs to the cops.

 

[CreamyGoodness]

Are you married or live with a woman? Even a roommate? My landlord had a habit of walking into the apartment to check the thermastats, and finally I reasoned "if I came into your house while Mrs. S******* was undressed, I think you would probably hit me. Thats what you did last week, even if you dont realize it." It worked.

I'm all for deescalating problems before they get out of hand, but if its war they want, let the PD know that the people next door have been peering through your fence, and your windows by proxy, while SWMBO was just out of the shower. You dont KNOW that they were looking at her, and you dont care, its still unacceptable.

Unless you have a real crap PD I suspect the behavior would stop quickly.

Also, kudos to my fellow brewers, winemakers and mazers for being so rational. This is the kind of thing where people usually get hot-headed advice online.

 

[Zamial]

I say fork 'em!

No. That is NOT a way around a chat filter. Plastic forks are VERY cheap. Buy a box of 1000 per friend that you can get to help you. Then about 3:40am, dressed in black like ninjas, crawl across the lawn while sticking forks, tines down, all over the place. 10,000 is good but more is better.

FACT: Plastic forks make dangerous shards when ran over with a lawn mower and a helleva noise and they do not biodegrade. This means they will have to pull them all out themselves by hand this is back destroying labor unless they crawl across the lawn and the idea is there was more of you than them.

After the mess is all cleaned up, stop by and tell them that they need to stop forking spying on you through the fence and spreading lies, unless they really like forking with you in which case you would be happy to service them as needed.

Then in the next moment when they look like they are about to explode tell them that you make beer and hand them a bucket of chicken and a homebrew and to mind their own forking business...

 

[landshark]

I like the idea of inviting the police over when you're brewing. Get the grill out, throw some burgers on it, and tell the dispatcher that if any on duty officer wants to stop by for a free burger, they can do so. When your neighbor sees the steady flow of cops, they'll think you're selling drugs to the cops.

This is a good idea, if you actually liked PO. Personally I can't stand any of the PO I have ever met let alone the ones in my town so I would go to war with the neighbors.

i.e. report them as peeping toms on the kiddies. even if I didn't have kids.
Order weird magazine subscriptions. like real weird stuff. plant it in their yard.
put those little jacks all over their yard.
weed killer their entire lawn.

If their doors swing out, screw a 2x4 to the frame of their house at the bottom of the door so it won't open.

Luckily, most of my neighbors have never pissed me off and I'm cool with them all. Otherwise. WAR!!

 

[JonM]

I'm loving this thread - I'm about to move in with SWMBO and set up the big outdoor brew rig on the back parking slab. I've met most of the neighbors and they all seem really nice (the one right next to the parking slab even has an enormous raspberry patch and maybe she'll contribute to a raspberry wheat?) but part of me kinda wants to see if other neighbors start the "meth lab" rumor about the new guy.

 

[Darwin18]

To the OP:

You've done pretty much everything reasonable that you can. You've tried talking with the neighbors and even speaking with the police. It's time to just move on. If they don't like you're brewing, too bad. You're not breaking the law and there is nothing they can do about it. Just relax and enjoy your brew days.

 

[JKoravos]

I thought you were going to go down the Moe Szyslak route "BAM! the 'ol fork in the eye!"


I say just ignore them...and patch anywhere in your fence that they can look through. Some razor wire wouldn't hurt either.

 

[ScoRas]

Sounds like they broke at least two laws by invading your privacy and then spreading false and malicious rumors.

 

[Jaysus]

You're putting your hop trellis on that side of the yard, right?

 

[ReverseApacheMaster]

If I saw my neighbors peeking through the fence I'd ask if there was something I could do for them. If they ran off from the fence I'd come knock on the door and politely confront them. Let them know I don't appreciate being spied on and if they are curious about what I'm doing I would be happy to show them.

However if I found out they were spreading rumors that I was making meth I'd be a lot less civil by that point. I'd invite other neighbors over for a party and show them the equipment and give them beer so they know the truth.

If you really wanted to let them know what's up, when you see them at the fence, just water the yard by the fence at high pressure and accidentally spray too high up.

 

[ReverseApacheMaster]

Sounds like they broke at least two laws by invading your privacy and then spreading false and malicious rumors.

No invasion of privacy if they can see what you're doing outdoors. Even if they rented a helicopter and watched you from the sky.

 

[CreamyGoodness]

Here's what I dont understand... I live in NYC, and have worked in just about every part of Manhattan. I know what most drugs look like, and what many of them smell like.

Even with that said, if I knew absolutely nothing about what brewers do and I noticed that the nextdoor neighbor had a large kettle on his stove or going in his garage I wouldnt think "meth lab" Id think "Crab boil?" or "frying a turkey where its safe?"

I think there is still hope for me now that I know that someone who has not been living in NYC for 10 years is considerably more paranoid than I am.

 

[spearko520]

you should wait at their peephole spread for action, so when they look through, they get a nice shot of the brown eye. Seriously - it sounds like you are screwed, so at this point you may as well actually cook meth. get their kids hooked and then they will have so many worries, they won't care what their neighbor does.

 

[Homercidal]

Here's what I dont understand... I live in NYC, and have worked in just about every part of Manhattan. I know what most drugs look like, and what many of them smell like.

Even with that said, if I knew absolutely nothing about what brewers do and I noticed that the nextdoor neighbor had a large kettle on his stove or going in his garage I wouldnt think "meth lab" Id think "Crab boil?" or "frying a turkey where its safe?"

I think there is still hope for me now that I know that someone who has not been living in NYC for 10 years is considerably more paranoid than I am.

Those things don't use a coil of copper wire.

I doubt a boiling pot of anything is going to make people think of meth.

But honestly, the real bottom line is that anyone would have to be retarded to think someone would cook meth out in their back yard. "Oh, hey, I just wanted you guys to know that I'm going to be cooking up up some meth this morning, so you might want to stay indoors. It smells pretty bad and the fumes are toxic. K thanks!"

 

[JonM]

You're putting your hop trellis on that side of the yard, right?

Awesome!!

 

[DannyD]

whahaahha!! here in south africa there is NO homebrew culture, I was thinking the other day when this will happen to me.- big pot, -funny green stuff. they wount believe me when i tell them!