I can't stand it when BMC drinkers say sh*t like this

[fat x nub]

I occasionaly get the, "Hey cn you brew me a american lager?" I always respond, "yes" in a calm voice and i do not mind doing it. But it annoys me when the same person says over and over..."Hey can you brew me a nice rice beer I have been wanting you to brew?" Ok as my beer information is swirling around in my head I think...okay he probably likes something like a Bud that uses rice and is crisp and light. I know he loves those Japanese beers that use a lot of rice. So i respond, "I can't brew lagers...but I know a recipe that is like a rice lager but is an ale. It is called a cream ale." (Check out Jamil's recipe in Brewing CLassic Styles) I have told this guy at least 7 times that i can not brew lagers so know i get to the point where i start to scream whenever he asks. I just dont have the extra fridge around. So he says I do not want that...that is nothing like what i want. So after arguing for a while he pulls it up on wikipedia and after it says it right ****in there that it is like a standard amercian lager he says, "I hate how you think you know sooooo much about beer. You don't know anything." I respnd, "I know more than you and i know that what i would have brewed you something you would like. It is light crisp and not bitter. And it uses ur ****ing rice you love soooooo much cuz your scared of something actually jumping off ur taste buds." So on wensday i am going to brew him his damn cream ale and he is going to like it and and i can't wait til he says he doesn't like it and then has three more glasses of it. I just needed to vent a bit:rockin:

 

[UncleFluffy]

There's only one way to respond to someone like that: "F--k you, brew your own f--king beer then if you don't like mine".

 

[bierhaus15]

Just remember that most of us were ignorant BMC drinkers before we saw the "light"....

Cream ale eh? Got to brew that sometime.

 

[fat x nub]

There's only one way to respond to someone like that: "F--k you, brew your own f--king beer then if you don't like mine".

I would do that....but i want to prove to him that this beer will taste like something he likes. After that i brew for me and people who appreciate my beers.

Just remember that most of us were ignorant BMC drinkers before we saw the "light"....

Cream ale eh? Got to brew that sometime.

yeah but he was questionign wheather i knew what i was talkign about. And therecipe for cream ale from jamil is

4.75lbs of continental pilsner
4.75lbs of US 2 row
1 pound of flaked rice
.75 pounds of corn sugar
1oz of liberty at 60min
.5oz of liberty at 1min

mash at 149 for 90 minutes
pitch white labs cali ale yeast or wyeast American Ale, or US-05

there is another great recipe from biermuncher i think. its in the light hybrid section in the recipe database. he uses maize instead of rice. Both are acceptable but Jamil uses rice and this guy likes rice so im goign with the rice option.

 

[k1v1116]

piss into a keg and force carb it, he'll probably like it.

 

[John Beere]

sounds to me like he just outsmarted you into brewing him some free beer... heh

 

[bierhaus15]

Thanks for posting the recipe... and to hell with him!

 

[fat x nub]

sounds to me like he just outsmarted you into brewing him some free beer... heh

Thats one way to look at it...but i really do wanan show him that i can brew something he will like. Not something overly hoppy and really knocks him out. Just a nice smooth and crisp beer. Me and him are freinds...he just does't know **** about beer and he is sooooooooooo picky. He thinks that what he is drinking is craft beer the way he raves on about it

 

[PseudoChef]

Law of Evan! in 4. Not bad.

 

[Kauai_Kahuna]

Thats one way to look at it...but i really do wanan show him that i can brew something he will like.

OK, I can understand the need to shut up the ahole, but.

That is not a friend, that is someone who would be thrown off my balcony, and I live on the 9th floor.
"Sorry officer, he had some of my imperial stout, jumped up and just jumped out, you want to try some?"

I only brew for friends, and I take their comments seriously, my friends know better than to ask me to brew a BMC more than once.

My standard answer is "If you want a BMC, go out and buy one because it's easier, cheaper and takes a lot less time. Come and see me when you want to try something new".

Friends don't ask friends to drink BMC.

 

[denimglen]

Yeah, I would have told him to get farked because I'm not his brew slave.

Brew the cream ale and tell him it's a US Lager, he probably won't be able to tell the difference.

 

[TheFlatline]

Yeah, I would ask the guy "If I don't know anything about beer, why are you asking me to brew you some? It's ultimately cheaper, and quicker, to buy that stuff in the store. Give me some respect if you're going to be consuming something I created with my own money, on my own time."

I have the opposite problem. I have family and friends that will steal a six pack every time they're over, and then complain when I'm not brewing fast enough to keep them in beer. Last batch I got a whopping 2 12 oz bottles out of the entire 5 gallons, and those were still green.

I doubt I'm going to talk sense into them at all, but I'm switching steadily over to kegging because... well... all those bottles I've saved up have gone into the recycle bin. That's right, nobody returns the empties, because that'd be admitting to stealing. I've told everyone that at 20-30 bucks per case of bottles, they could kiss my ass if they thought I'd dish 100 bucks a batch out for other people to drink. Many family & friends were deeply offended, but didn't deny taking the beer.

F*cking drunks...

 

[Kauai_Kahuna]

I have the opposite problem. I have family and friends that will steal a six pack every time they're over, and then complain when I'm not brewing fast enough to keep them in beer.
F*cking drunks...

Now that is even more F...ed up. My friends don't get homebrew unless they provide bottles. Simple economics - I'm CHEAP.
I'll say it again, if your friends don't appreciate your homebrew because it could be better, listen, adapt and learn. If they abuse, use or just have no sense of taste, you need better friends. Family is a little tougher, so I would recommend locks on the storage unit, with some ****y traps just to teach a lesson.

 

[BadKarma]

As for the BMC infidel, I say brew the cream ale and let him sample it blind. When he raves about it, tell him what it is and then offer to teach him how to make it, but keep the rest.

As for my beer stash getting pilfered, it is known among my friends that, if they want any to take home, they have to be there when it was brewed and the same number of bottles goes out as was traded in. And I never turn down a case of swing tops.

 

[Aubie Stout]

Try WLP080 or WLP060 for the cream ale. I really like the WLP060.

 

[Evan!]

Law of Evan! in 4. Not bad.

Not bad at all. I was a bit surprised that the OP didn't invoke it on his original post, but alas, you can't win 'em all.

As to the OP, I don't care what you want to prove to anyone, if you brew that guy a batch of beer after he was such a complete dick to you, then the terrorists win.

 

[IrregularPulse]

As to the OP, I don't care what you want to prove to anyone, if you brew that guy a batch of beer after he was such a complete dick to you, then the terrorists win.

Amen. My impression so far is even with the cream ale's, they still have a bit too much malt profile for most BMC drinkers. I only have death brewers recipe to go off of though. But I give it to people thinking it's what they'll like, adn it still have too much flavor for them

 

[Bob]

+1 to Evan and everyone else who's told you how stupid it is to actually knuckle under to this *******.

Tell you what - if you want to brew a Cream Ale, and if he wants to pony up for the ingredients, come over and help you every step of the way, go ahead and brew the beer. If you're only going to do this to prove the point, it's a completely stupid waste of time.

You're not going to turn your "friend" into nice guy from d!ckhead with free beer. He's going to continue to nitpick you to death - because people like that don't want you to prove them wrong, they only want to annoy you - and laugh to himself because he made you dance to his tune. I've had "friends" like that. Not for long.

If you're really friends, you should be able to tell him when he's being a dick. Further, if you're really friends he should listen and at least try to modify his behavior. If one or neither of these things are possible, you're not really friends anyway. Which means you're a dope for letting a d!ckhead annoy you.

My two cents in summary: If you want some Cream Ale to drink, make it. If not, flip off that ass-cactus and kick him to the curb; his anal haberdashery is too much to be borne.

Cheerfully,

Bob

 

[ohiobrewtus]

Not bad at all. I was a bit surprised that the OP didn't invoke it on his original post, but alas, you can't win 'em all.

As to the OP, I don't care what you want to prove to anyone, if you brew that guy a batch of beer after he was such a complete dick to you, then the terrorists win.

Or maybe his friend *is* a terrorist?

 

[Brew-Happy]

If you want to annoy him, use a lager yeast only don't brew it at the proper temp.

Then you can just say, "Well, I used all of the lager ingredients you bought. So, it must not be the beer that is the problem."

If he wants lager beer, offer to teach him how to brew and show him how much $$ it is to brew a true lager. If that doesn't help him to realize how annoying he is, just stop answering your phone and door. Maybe he will get the hint, but it might take a while.

 

[Philip1993]

There's only one way to respond to someone like that: "F--k you, brew your own f--king beer then if you don't like mine".

+12

Just remember that most of us were ignorant BMC drinkers before we saw the "light"....

Yes, but most of us weren't *********s about free beer...

 

[Chriso]

Yep, I'm with all the naysayers right above me.

If he wants his feckin' American Lager so feckin' much, he needs to be there at 8am sharp with a box full of ingredients for the batch, he needs to sweat over the burner right alongside you, and he needs to loan you a fridge / find you a Craigslist fridge to lager in.

THEN and only then can he brag about how much HE knows about beer. In the mean time, I'd consider cutting him off from your supply. Just tell him that, challenge or no challenge, he's a feckin' prick douchemallow, and needs to back off your jive.

I've got one friend in particular that doesn't help brew, but loves to help drink. He can singlehandedly take out about 1/3 of a keg of Hobgoblin in a night. But I keep brewing for him because A) he doesn't have any cash to throw towards ingredients and B) he LOVES my Hobgoblin, and never says an ill word about it. He expresses his gratitude, he raves about how sweet my brewing is, and so I let "compensation" slide in exchange for the glowing praise, and the knowledge that even if he isn't necessarily "making good" in exchange for the beer, he's still appreciative of the beer.

I have the opposite problem. I have family and friends that will steal a six pack every time they're over, and then complain when I'm not brewing fast enough to keep them in beer. Last batch I got a whopping 2 12 oz bottles out of the entire 5 gallons, and those were still green.

I had the same problem - don't get me wrong, family BROUGHT the bottles back, but... not usually well-cleaned. And then I switched to kegging, and bottles didn't matter anymore, but family started to get sad because they didn't get my beer anymore. Solution? I bought a growler for my parents, and they swing by with the empty whenever they want a new bottle. I tell 'em what's on tap, and fill up with the beer of their choice. They get to see me every or every other week, and they get some beer. Win-win situation. A couple of $8 growlers is far cheaper than case after case after case of new bottles.

 

[DeathBrewer]

Amen. My impression so far is even with the cream ale's, they still have a bit too much malt profile for most BMC drinkers. I only have death brewers recipe to go off of though. But I give it to people thinking it's what they'll like, adn it still have too much flavor for them

my cream ale is a bit flavorful.

take out the munich and vienna, do not replace with additional malt. take out the flaked wheat and replace with 0.5 lb flaked rice. ferment with WLP080 at a 60°F. that'll be more BMC.

it won't be as tasty, but there you go

 

[pjj2ba]

Let him have one to taste. Then when he likes it, tell him he can't have any more and don't cave in no matter what.

 

[Saccharomyces]

mash at 149 for 90 minutes
pitch white labs cali ale yeast or wyeast American Ale, or US-05

there is another great recipe from biermuncher i think. its in the light hybrid section in the recipe database. he uses maize instead of rice. Both are acceptable but Jamil uses rice and this guy likes rice so im goign with the rice option.

Try WLP060 or WLP080 with Jamil's recipe and you will have a winner. Both are lager blends for ale ferment temps, and will produce the byproducts of lager yeast to give you that lager character.

I just did a Coopers kit with Brewferm lager yeast at 52 for a keg of swill beer. Yes I like swill beer occasionally. It ended up fruitier and less clean than I think I would have gotten just using one of the above yeasts with a big honkin' starter.

 

[Orfy]

1. Why are you wanting to brew ANYTHING for him.
2. Why are you even talking to him.

If I think someone is a dick I don't speak to them. If I have to for professional reason then I keep it to work subjects and nothing else.

**** him!

 

[Laughing_Gnome_Invisible]

My biggest complaint about all this is that this guy has unwittingly insulted all American beer with his BMC delusion. There is plenty of good "American" beer out there, but his die hard fanatical devotion to generic swill is giving a bad name to the more diverse side of true American modifications to established styles. Although not a lager, the prime example would be the way American brewers have evolved the IPA style into something so distinctly American that it would be foolish to compare a US IPA to it's British original. Although American IPA is not to my personal taste, I respect that it is now truly American, just as much as BMC's version of Pilsner.

Did any of that make sense? It did to me at least!:cross:

 

[conpewter]

He won't like whatever you brew, buy a bottle of bud, take off the label, quickly recap it and draw obscure marks on the cap. He'll say it is not as good as bud I bet

 

[Chriso]

He won't like whatever you brew, buy a bottle of bud, take off the label, quickly recap it and draw obscure marks on the cap. He'll say it is not as good as bud I bet

+1 Try this before you go through all the work of an entire batch. It'll say VOLUMES to his beer knowledge.

 

[Laughing_Gnome_Invisible]

He won't like whatever you brew, buy a bottle of bud, take off the label, quickly recap it and draw obscure marks on the cap. He'll say it is not as good as bud I bet

That would just be cruel!.....Which is why I give that idea a +1