Ive tried 4-5 different things and im constantly getting 62% efficiency, which ive been correcting for but its too low to say "this is my life now" and keep correcting for it.
62% isn't the end of the world - let's face it, it's just a dollar of extra grain in the mash. From a personal point of view, I would feel niggled until I'd got it consistently up to 70%. But from a end-beer point of view, it's something that's easy to correct for, just add a bit of malt extract or even kitchen sugar to the final wort in order to hit the target OG - there's calculators out there to help you with that. So in that regard, poor efficiency shouldn't affect your enjoyment of the beer other than the niggle-ness.
I will admit ive struggling trying to brew things too complicated in the past. But they are beers I like, so moving forward I think ill be refining some of the basic styles until I get it.
The first thing I would do is calibrate your
hygrometer/refractometer - it could be that you're hitting your numbers, and just not measuring them properly.
The second thing I would point out is to make sure you have
the most important equipment in any brewery - a pen and paper. Write down everything, so that you know what you did if things go right or wrong. You said two batches went well - what was different about them?
FWIW, I think the best way forward for you is not to compromise too much on the hop side of things, so hopefully you will still be making beers that are as hoppy as you want them to be, but just simplify the grain bill as that's what affects your efficiency. I'd definitely
go all-barley for a bit, and even go down to just a single malt - basic 2-row, Otter or whatever - and keep it below 1.060. You should have no excuse to not get decent efficiency off 100% pale barley malt, then you can start to add speciality barley malts like dextrin malts, and in subsequent batches you can really screw up your mash

by adding in stuff like wheat and oats. But you should be happy drinking a 100% pale malt beer with your usual hop bill even if it's not quite as "perfect" as you are ultimately hoping for. At this stage, you just want to get a base recipe that works, it's then a lot easier to troubleshoot.