HBT Official Memorable Quotes Thread

[Revvy]

This from the guy who when his preggers wife knocked his Bike over played the "I'm Pregnant" card.

....we are all pretty much "PWNED" once the words "I do" escapes our lips. And unfortunately, the process requires witnesses to back up that you said it.

 

[StunnedMonkey]

If I wanted a woman to see my penis I went to the restroom.

^^^Needs to pay more attention to the signs on the doors^^^

 

[Saccharomyces]

I'll save everyone the trouble and just link the whole thread, since it has been resurrected...

https://www.homebrewtalk.com/f45/code-enforcement-52640/

We need a memorable threads thread.. For this thread.

 

[Laughing_Gnome_Invisible]

Now, this aint a funny memorable quote, this is groundbreaking monumentally historic in the fact that it directs a serious beer questioner to look at a BEER thread I started......Which, in itself, does make it pretty f#cking hilarious.

Do a search for Laughing Gnomes full boil. He did a side by side comparison of a full boil vs his partial.

 

[Revvy]

Okay?!?!
I'm not going to say a thing...

No way!! I used to own three goats, and nobody ever got them before I did!!!!

No, wait, let me rephrase that.....

 

[Brewin_Bob]

LGI doin' his thing ...

I need to polish the carrots and wash the dog.

 

[Laughing_Gnome_Invisible]

Out of context, of course!

I was pretty sure you were not a chick so I thought I'd play with you

 

[Boerderij_Kabouter]

I'm 5 deep into a Pigs ass

Some poetic license used

 

[jgln]

Out of context, of course!

Pretty funny, pretty funny. I thought you were just joking.

 

[Laughing_Gnome_Invisible]

Pretty funny, pretty funny. I thought you were just joking.

HEY! Joking is a serious matter in these here parts!!

 

[Zul'jin]

OhioBrewtus: bird feathers and dog hair are in my yeast again

Oh, really?

 

[talleymonster]

He must have been watching some Craig Farraway videos on YouTube.

 

[HBHoss]

I finally caught me a whopper!

Just for that I'm going to mount and stuff her.

 

[Zul'jin]

zac: Ill ask my SWMBO, she used to have a fuzzy bunny.

And then, razor?

 

[zac]

Zul'jin,

Thats uncalled for!!!!! she really did when we got married, then the damn thing died (its a rabbit, appaerently they do) so I got to build a coufin for it, and bury it in the seering 115* August southeast heat. Fun day.


I have a quote, this has to be the most PC, non denominational greeting I've ever seen:

(Posted by Revvy)

Merry ChristaChaunukwaannzaefestivusyuleandwhateverelsey oumaycelebrate!!!



.......awsome.

 

[zac]

I cant resist HBHoss

My legs are skinny and I gots no butt,
she left hang'n with a flea bitt'n mutt.
I went outside and it began to pourrrrrrr,
but at least I don't have to listen to her beyatch no more!

 

[Seabee John]

Damn, that is pretty. I just felt a sticky warmth in my jeans.

WTF??.....................

 

[McKBrew]

WTF??.....................

WTF?? Did you see the picture of those boilermakers? Beerporn at it's best.

 

[Seabee John]

WTF?? Did you see the picture of those boilermakers? Beerporn at it's best.

oh I saw them.... I just thought it was a good quote

 

[shecky]

Completely out of context, but good nonetheless.

the problem with the sex thing is that it doesn't present it as an option during registration

 

[McKBrew]

Sometimes it's fun to modify these things to make them a bit more amusing to me.

I love the .... snake! How could anyone be afraid of the cool .... snake?

 

[tedpeer]

start sucking, you will be amazed at all the things you can find to suck.

1234567890 characters

 

[EvilTOJ]

Save the poop smoke for special occasions

Indeed I do friend, indeed I do.

 

[Revvy]

Ed should post this warning at the front of the Apfelwein Thread.

Apfelwein wears Prada... Be warned newcomers! As it was stated before - Apfelwein doesnt play nice with others. In fact Apfelwein runs around the house with scisors screaming obscenities.

From this great tale of woe...

https://www.homebrewtalk.com/f45/apfelwein-devil-95470/

 

[Revvy]

This is WAY too epic not to be quoted in it's fullness here....From the same apfelwein thread I quoted from above...

Oh, don't I know the devil that it is! Once I sweetened a keg of it with a bit of pomegranate juice and my neighbor and I tore into it on the "party porch" with a few other folks around. Another friend dropped by with two wild hogs he'd shot and El Hubbo and my neighbor's husband set to work cleaning/slaughtering. It was a high old time. Realizing that I was pretty deep into my cups, I tottered on home across the field (but only after, apparently, becoming loud with hyena-like laughter as my neighbor and I swapped embarrassing sex tales. Of course, I don't recall this and doubt it really happened. Ahem. Well, maybe.)

Anyway, at one point prior to going home, I noted that El Hubbo (also imbibing the devil's drink) was feeding hog tidbits to the doggies and I asked him to be a bit more judicious about it. This advice, I was to discover later, was not heeded. Long story short, El Hubbo followed me home a couple of hours later and crawled, clothed, into bed. Some time after that, I heard the most disgusting sound ever come out of the kitchen. I got up, a tad wobbly, and was hit by a foul stench. There, in the early morning light filtering in, I was greeted by what looked to be most of a hog leg, partly digested and with other piggy parts in a puddle in the kitchen and a forlorn, apologetic-looking 110 lb lab mix gazing at what had been his dinner earlier.

Looking back, there has been some speculation that the pomegranate juice added something to the mix. It has been called "the fruit of life" and thought to have magical properties by some cultures.

 

[Zul'jin]

"...I tore into it on the "party porch" with a few other folks around. Another friend dropped by with two wild hogs he'd shot and El Hubbo and my neighbor's husband set to work cleaning/slaughtering. It was a high old time. Realizing that I was pretty deep into my cups, I tottered on home across the field..."

It's good to have more of these people here! I am not the second coming. I was only the first wave!

 

[Revvy]

"...I tore into it on the "party porch" with a few other folks around. Another friend dropped by with two wild hogs he'd shot and El Hubbo and my neighbor's husband set to work cleaning/slaughtering. It was a high old time. Realizing that I was pretty deep into my cups, I tottered on home across the field..."

It's good to have more of these people here! I am not the second coming. I was only the first wave!

Zuil...look at the one quoted above you.

ALthough I did think of you when I read it.

 

[EvilTOJ]

.......remove the plastic tube and used plastic ties to clamp to the nipples. It's now flowing nicely.

Sounds like a typical weekend at my place

 

[MrNate]

I say to you now my friends, free your couches from the wasteful and stuffy confines of your living rooms! Relax and imbibe on your party porches, and Shecky be damned!

 

[Nurmey]

Is this safe sex?

I just spray some Starsan in the front and around the nipple.