Funny things you've overheard about beer

[GrogNerd]

Whoa, whoa! Leave Jersey out of your pseudo-causative fuzzy science ramblings. (Besides, West Virginia causes STDs... everybody knows THAT)

nice try, my friend, but I don't think stumbling petri dishes JWOW or Snooki or The Situation were from WV

WV causes shotgun weddings of first cousins and environmental banjo music

 

[unionrdr]

We had like 80 yesterday & snow with 31 this morning. I hate the snow belt.

 

[Trippel-A]

Whoa, whoa! Leave Jersey out of your pseudo-causative fuzzy science ramblings. (Besides, West Virginia causes STDs... everybody knows THAT)

No, no. West Virginia causes meth addiction. And a lack of potable water.

 

[unionrdr]

Actually,in our neck of WV,it caused white or keg charred moon. None of this inbreeding stuff. Meth was unknown at that time. But beer & moon flowed like water. And plenty of game for dinner.

 

[Hopinista]

Derail #824 is a boring one

 

[MaxStout]

Here in Ohio it's Then there's always the drivers with bigger/more expensive car than you thinking they have more rights on the road then you. Then the fools that insist on being in front & tap dancing on the break pedal to teach you how to drive. When all the while you're just trying to get to/from the lhbs...

I always seem to get the knuckleheads in the $500 rust heaps, driving like arseholes. I give them a wide berth, as they act like they have nothing to lose, and they probably don't have insurance. Besides, I don't want to get pelted with parts falling off.

 

[GrogNerd]

I always seem to get the knuckleheads in the $500 rust heaps, driving like arseholes. I give them a wide berth, as they act like they have nothing to lose, and they probably don't have insurance. Besides, I don't want to get pelted with parts falling off.

winterbeaters. lol

 

[DrunkleJon]

Whoa, whoa! Leave Jersey out of your pseudo-causative fuzzy science ramblings. (Besides, West Virginia causes STDs... everybody knows THAT)

WV is for inbreeding and daddy issues

nice try, my friend, but I don't think stumbling petri dishes JWOW or Snooki or The Situation were from WV

WV causes shotgun weddings of first cousins and environmental banjo music

exactly

No, no. West Virginia causes meth addiction. And a lack of potable water.

I always thought that meth was from the mid-west and the middle east (central time zone). There is something that seems to affect people who are not within a days drive of a large body of water. People seem to get... quirky. Like in Fargo (the movie, I do not know if i could put up with the tv show).

 

[freshhoarse]

nice try, my friend, but I don't think stumbling petri dishes JWOW or Snooki or The Situation were from WV

WV causes shotgun weddings of first cousins and environmental banjo music

News flash... They're all from New York.

 

[GrogNerd]

News flash... They're all from New York.

which is also not West Virginia

 

[unionrdr]

I always seem to get the knuckleheads in the $500 rust heaps, driving like arseholes. I give them a wide berth, as they act like they have nothing to lose, and they probably don't have insurance. Besides, I don't want to get pelted with parts falling off.

Oh man,then there's the ones with "farm vehicle" scrawled on the side with a couple teens behind the wheel. I took my wife through the part of WV where my grandma,uncles,etc lived when I was young. They kept blocking & slowing down in front of me. I hate that part. Damn kids,can't live with'em...can't shoot'em...

 

[troy2000]

I feel like when people say things like that they're just saying something for the sake of saying something. Just filler, like my post right now haha. Someone asked me the other day at work why we didn't carry fortified beer and that they can find it in California. Please correct me if I'm wrong, but I feel like IF that existed, there would be very few out there.



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Well, I dunno.... if by fortified he just meant 'cheap with a high alcohol content' like fortified wines, Steel Reserve 211 probably qualifies. It's 8.1% ABV, and a six pack of 16 oz cans goes for $4.69 plus tax.

Surprisingly, it's drinkable. Not claiming it tastes good, but it doesn't gag me on the way down like some of the malt liquors I've tried.

 

[bleme]

Whoa, whoa! Leave Jersey out of your pseudo-causative fuzzy science ramblings. (Besides, West Virginia causes STDs... everybody knows THAT)

I know I am contributing to another derailment here, but that's basically what this thread is - one giant derail after another, with a funny thing here and there.

Anyway... I used to sell about $30,000/year on eBay back in the 90's and I always cringed when I saw the buyer was from Jersey. I can't speak for the whole State, but New Jersey eBay'ers in the 90's were the biggest bunch of whining, con artists on the internet. Nearly every sale claimed that something was broken or scratched, demanding a full refund, without returning the item, holding your feedback rating hostage.

 

[unionrdr]

And with that folks,we return you now to your regularly scheduled ramblings & misadventures in beer drinking...

 

[jhoneycutt]

I know I am contributing to another derailment here, but that's basically what this thread is - one giant derail after another, with a funny thing here and there.

Anyway... I used to sell about $30,000/year on eBay back in the 90's and I always cringed when I saw the buyer was from Jersey. I can't speak for the whole State, but New Jersey eBay'ers in the 90's were the biggest bunch of whining, con artists on the internet. Nearly every sale claimed that something was broken or scratched, demanding a full refund, without returning the item, holding your feedback rating hostage.

You couldn't make them return the item first?

 

[bleme]

You couldn't make them return the item first?

They always expected me to pay shipping and a lot of the stuff I sold cost less than shipping. There were a few expensive items, like a 1920's cast iron toy car, that sold for $400 that I required to be returned. After a bunch of complaining they finally agreed to send it back and I am pretty sure they took a hammer to it when I wouldn't allow them to keep it and a refund.

 

[n240sxguy]

Ship to the contiguous 47 states.


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[DLR1987]

Well, I dunno.... if by fortified he just meant 'cheap with a high alcohol content' like fortified wines, Steel Reserve 211 probably qualifies. It's 8.1% ABV, and a six pack of 16 oz cans goes for $4.69 plus tax.



Surprisingly, it's drinkable. Not claiming it tastes good, but it doesn't gag me on the way down like some of the malt liquors I've tried.

Not all fortified wines are cheap though. Take Ports for example. However, I'm sure you already knew that.

Anywho....back to the funnies!



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[CavemanDom]

Zombie derailment!

A few ideas for unionrdr's book...
The Thirsty Games
1984Loko
Lucifer's Hammered



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[troy2000]

Not all fortified wines are cheap though. Take Ports for example. However, I'm sure you already knew that.

Anywho....back to the funnies!



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Are you trying to derail this derailment?!?

I remodeled a retired WWII Army pilot's mountain cabin years ago, and his English wife always invited me to sit with her for a small glass of sherry at the end of the day.

It was a revelation. I had always thought sherry and other fortified wines were strictly wino fare....

 

[DrunkleJon]

Are you trying to derail this derailment?!?

I remodeled a retired WWII Army pilot's mountain cabin years ago, and his English wife always invited me to sit with her for a small glass of sherry at the end of the day.

It was a revelation. I had always thought sherry and other fortified wines were strictly wino fare....

Are you sure her name wasnt actually Sherry? She may have been propositioning you.

 

[troy2000]

Are you sure her name wasnt actually Sherry? She may have been propositioning you.

At her age, any thoughts of propositioning me would've been mostly fantasy.

I did have a homeowner's wife kiss me on the back of my neck one day, while I was kneeling down taping drywall in her bedroom.

Her rich and much older husband was a fanatic big game hunter, with pictures all over the walls of himself holding the heads of dead animals by their ears or horns, and guns displayed all through the house. Weird thing is that normally he was stone-faced; never saw him smile once. But he was grinning ear-to-ear in all those photo's.

I asked the contractor I was working for to either send someone with me after that, or have someone else finish the job. Chicken? You bet. And tempted enough to worry myself....

 

[cpl-america]

Don't blame you.

 

[DLR1987]

"No no no....you add the bittering hops at the end and the aroma hops at the beginning." Luckily I was able to correct them


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[FatDragon]

"No no no....you add the bittering hops at the end and the aroma hops at the beginning." Luckily I was able to correct them


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That's crazy talk. It's called a 60 minute addition because you put it in after 60 minutes.

Really, for a new learner, the way we indicate x minutes for hop additions seems kind've backwards, and I could see someone getting mixed up by that pretty easily.

 

[DLR1987]

That's crazy talk. It's called a 60 minute addition because you put it in after 60 minutes.



Really, for a new learner, the way we indicate x minutes for hop additions seems kind've backwards, and I could see someone getting mixed up by that pretty easily.

I completely agree with you. If someone is just confused, I don't really find it funny. All I want in that case is to help them learn. However, this particular individual was so sure about it, it took some convincing via google. At least he knows now!



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[sputnam]

i asked a girl at a beer tasting event what type of beers she liked. Her reply was "ales...mostly ales and lagers". If I had thought she had a clue as to what she just said it would have been pretty funny. I like mostly ales and lagers too!:rockin:

 

[bleme]

My Mom told me that a Portuguese Floor Corker sounded like some crazy sex position. I worry about her sometimes...

 

[JohnSand]

I wish my mom had a sense of humor like that. She probably would have thought it was a fatal disease.

 

[Teromous]

I went to Barnes & Noble to pick up both a wine making magazine and a beer magazine. I drink a lot of caffeine so I was carrying around my standard large can of energy drink. I approached the counter and set it on top, then paid for my magazines. As I started walking away, the cashier said:

"I don't know if I should trust you with wine when you have that." He motions to my energy drink, then further comments: "Maybe beer, but not wine."