Funny things you've overheard about beer

[bleme]

After telling a guy at work that I brew, he replies, "That's cool man. What color?"

I know his question was a variant of the popular light-or-dark question, but I thought his wording was interesting. If I had been in a sardonic mood I might have answered something like blue or purple.

I did a blueberry wheat that came out more purple. Funny that you should mention those 2 colors specifically.

 

[danath34]

So today I went and picked up a fridge off craigslist to build a fermentation chamber...

Me: "Yeah this might work..."
Him: "What are you using it for?"
Me: "Fermentation chamber."
Him: "What...?"
Me: "Fermentation chamber. For brewing beer."
Him: "Why don't you just lager it like everyone else??"
Me: "*eyebrow raised* Wait... Run that by me again"
Him: "Yeah that's what I do with my beer..."

*facepalm*

 

[n240sxguy]

Does he lager his in the oven?

 

[finsfan]

I received an aussie lager extract kit from some relatives for christmas. I was very happy to get this, even though I brew AG. I know it wasnt cheap and will be brewing it up today. I read the instructions to see what temp I should lager at, but the kit includes ale yeast :smack: This was not a commercial kit, but one that the LHBS put together. You would think they would know better!

 

[SupervisingChildren]

I received an aussie lager extract kit from some relatives for christmas. I was very happy to get this, even though I brew AG. I know it wasnt cheap and will be brewing it up today. I read the instructions to see what temp I should lager at, but the kit includes ale yeast :smack: This was not a commercial kit, but one that the LHBS put together. You would think they would know better!

'Aussie Lager"ish" Ale'?

 

[flars]

I received an aussie lager extract kit from some relatives for christmas. I was very happy to get this, even though I brew AG. I know it wasnt cheap and will be brewing it up today. I read the instructions to see what temp I should lager at, but the kit includes ale yeast :smack: This was not a commercial kit, but one that the LHBS put together. You would think they would know better!

Ale yeast is correct. It is a pseudo lager.

 

[drainbamage]

My boss went to the doctor back in November or December -- for the same thing, sinus infection -- and found out his cholesterol and blood pressure was through the roof. To the point the DR banned him from exercise until he could lose 15 lbs (and almost forbid him from marital relations). She explicitly told him to start drinking at least one beer a day, and if he could get into more craft beers (he's a straight-up BMC drinker; I think I've seen him crack something other than a Bud Light once in the decade I've known him), that would be better.

He told her his wife wouldn't believe him, so she actually sent a note home with him saying "Brian is to have one or two beers every night after work" (Even said if he skips a night, to go ahead and have 3 or 4 the next night)

Can you give us the Dr's name and address? I think I'm due for a check-up.

 

[finsfan]

Ale yeast is correct. It is a pseudo lager.

If that is right, it makes me feel better.

 

[masonsjax]

In Australia Lager yeast ferments on top

 

[MedicMang]

In Australia Lager yeast ferments on top

Is this like the phenomenon where the toilets flush the opposite way?

 

[n240sxguy]

Is this like the phenomenon where the toilets flush the opposite way?

I'm pretty sure it was a joke referencing that.

 

[timrox1212]

Does he lager his in the oven?

Hahahah isn't that what you do? I set my oven to 350 and let the carboy bake for 20 mins.

 

[Billy-Klubb]

My boss went to the doctor back in November or December -- for the same thing, sinus infection -- and found out his cholesterol and blood pressure was through the roof. To the point the DR banned him from exercise until he could lose 15 lbs (and almost forbid him from marital relations). She explicitly told him to start drinking at least one beer a day, and if he could get into more craft beers (he's a straight-up BMC drinker; I think I've seen him crack something other than a Bud Light once in the decade I've known him), that would be better.

He told her his wife wouldn't believe him, so she actually sent a note home with him saying "Brian is to have one or two beers every night after work" (Even said if he skips a night, to go ahead and have 3 or 4 the next night)

Can you give us the Dr's name and address? I think I'm due for a check-up.

no joke! I need a new Dr. mine's all like, "Sir, you can't show up to your appointment drunk." and then I'm all like, "You best shut yer hole & get me some cigars, sissy pants!"

 

[Vellum]

Today at the heb (grocery store) they were doing samples of the o'mission pale ale. I asked what is special about it and they said "we figured out how to make it gluten free by substituting all the hops for something else, the brewers won't tell us what it is" I asked, "oh so hops have gluten in them not the barley?" They paused a moment and said "well they substituted for the hops so must be no gluten in barley". I thought it was pretty funny having a rep give misinformation. Made me chuckle, they didn't understand why I was smiling so big, wasn't a bad sample either, wonder what the secret gluten free hop substitute is!?!?

 

[day_trippr]

[...]wonder what the secret gluten free hop substitute is!?!?

Must be weed, 'cuz otherwise the rep is unbelievably stupid...

Cheers!

 

[n240sxguy]

Today at the heb (grocery store) they were doing samples of the o'mission pale ale. I asked what is special about it and they said "we figured out how to make it gluten free by substituting all the hops for something else, the brewers won't tell us what it is" I asked, "oh so hops have gluten in them not the barley?" They paused a moment and said "well they substituted for the hops so must be no gluten in barley". I thought it was pretty funny having a rep give misinformation. Made me chuckle, they didn't understand why I was smiling so big, wasn't a bad sample either, wonder what the secret gluten free hop substitute is!?!?

Must be a tablespoon of stupidity per bottle.

 

[masonsjax]

At a restaurant bar last night I was looking at their bottle/can selection and saw Brewer's Art Ozzy. I hadn't tried it before so asked the bartender what style it was. "Oh it's a light pale ale". Ok, sure I'll try it. I did a doubletake after my first sip when I was expecting a hoppy pale and was treated instead to a very good Belgian Strong. I'm pretty happy she was wrong because I really enjoyed that beer, but probably would've chosen something else had I known what it was.

 

[skitter]

At a restaurant bar last night I was looking at their bottle/can selection and saw Brewer's Art Ozzy. I hadn't tried it before so asked the bartender what style it was. "Oh it's a light pale ale". Ok, sure I'll try it. I did a doubletake after my first sip when I was expecting a hoppy pale and was treated instead to a very good Belgian Strong. I'm pretty happy she was wrong because I really enjoyed that beer, but probably would've chosen something else had I known what it was.

Most of the timw a good waitress that knows beer seems to require a marriage proposal

 

[TheBlindBeastBrewery]

People be scared of dark beer

 

[WesleyS]

From Instagram. Not about beer specifically, but beer related.

Now read the first comment.

I didn't realize hops and grain looked so much alike.

 

[BoBoBenton]

I was in a pub by Waterloo station, London (the firehouse/ the old firehouse, one of the two...) and overheard some one asking for 'a stout, Guinness if you have it...' He was then offered budvar dark and told 'have you tried this befor? It's one of my favourite stouts' I didn't know where to start!

 

[beaksnbeer]

I was in a pub by Waterloo station, London (the firehouse/ the old firehouse, one of the two...) and overheard some one asking for 'a stout, Guinness if you have it...' He was then offered budvar dark and told 'have you tried this befor? It's one of my favourite stouts' I didn't know where to start!

I prefer to start with a slap to the back of the head followed by a swift kick to the seat of the pants

 

[Barley_Bob]

A few weeks ago, my brother-in-law, Stefan, and I went into a bar and grill to get dinner. I went straight to the table, while he went to take his daughter to the restroom. We'd had a great day out hunting, but we were frozen through to the bone - we certainly needed a beer. Anyway, the waitress came straight to the table and asked what I wanted to drink.
"What do you have on tap?" I fired back.
"We don't have a tap."
I paused for a moment, but, undeterred, asked, "What do you have in bottles?"
"Sam Adams, Bud, Bud Light, Miller, Miller Light." I don't remember the full list, but she went on in a downward spiral long enough that it got pretty awkward.
Finally, she finished and I said, "... I'll have a Sam Adams."
So, she walks off just as Stefan came back to the table. He sat down, and here comes the waitress again to ask him what he wants to drink.
"What do you have on tap?" he asks, and, as he does, I start to grin.
"We don't have a tap."
"What do you have in bottles?"
And, sure enough, here comes the whole list again in the exact same order. I can see Stefan getting sucked down the exact same vortex of despair.
Finally, she finishes the whole terrible list and he says, "... I'll have a Sam Adams."
I just started laughing. I wonder how many times that waitress had that exact same conversation.

 

[elkshadow]

A few weeks ago, my brother-in-law, Stefan, and I went into a bar and grill to get dinner. I went straight to the table, while he went to take his daughter to the restroom. We'd had a great day out hunting, but we were frozen through to the bone - we certainly needed a beer. Anyway, the waitress came straight to the table and asked what I wanted to drink.
"What do you have on tap?" I fired back.
"We don't have a tap."
I paused for a moment, but, undeterred, asked, "What do you have in bottles?"
"Sam Adams, Bud, Bud Light, Miller, Miller Light." I don't remember the full list, but she went on in a downward spiral long enough that it got pretty awkward.
Finally, she finished and I said, "... I'll have a Sam Adams."
So, she walks off just as Stefan came back to the table. He sat down, and here comes the waitress again to ask him what he wants to drink.
"What do you have on tap?" he asks, and, as he does, I start to grin.
"We don't have a tap."
"What do you have in bottles?"
And, sure enough, here comes the whole list again in the exact same order. I can see Stefan getting sucked down the exact same vortex of despair.
Finally, she finishes the whole terrible list and he says, "... I'll have a Sam Adams."
I just started laughing. I wonder how many times that waitress had that exact same conversation.

That is awesome. Cool story bro. No joke. I've been there. I'm from Ohio and it happens a lot there but I usually get the customary eyeroll when I order the only decent/non BMC beer they have.

 

[mcbaumannerb]

I was at a bottle release yesterday and a kid behind me was boasting to his friends how experienced a beer shipper he is. He proceeded to tell them that they should never use FedEx because that is federal - and it's a federal crime to ship illegal things through them. The best bet is to use USPS - they ship anything and they don't care. :smack:

 

[Cheesy_Goodness]

That's just plain stupid. Not ignorant about beer mind you, it's just plain stupid.

 

[gometz]

A few weeks ago, my brother-in-law, Stefan, and I went into a bar and grill to get dinner. I went straight to the table, while he went to take his daughter to the restroom. We'd had a great day out hunting, but we were frozen through to the bone - we certainly needed a beer. Anyway, the waitress came straight to the table and asked what I wanted to drink.
"What do you have on tap?" I fired back.
"We don't have a tap."
I paused for a moment, but, undeterred, asked, "What do you have in bottles?"
"Sam Adams, Bud, Bud Light, Miller, Miller Light." I don't remember the full list, but she went on in a downward spiral long enough that it got pretty awkward.
Finally, she finished and I said, "... I'll have a Sam Adams."
So, she walks off just as Stefan came back to the table. He sat down, and here comes the waitress again to ask him what he wants to drink.
"What do you have on tap?" he asks, and, as he does, I start to grin.
"We don't have a tap."
"What do you have in bottles?"
And, sure enough, here comes the whole list again in the exact same order. I can see Stefan getting sucked down the exact same vortex of despair.
Finally, she finishes the whole terrible list and he says, "... I'll have a Sam Adams."
I just started laughing. I wonder how many times that waitress had that exact same conversation.

I hate making them go through the whole list, especially since they normally have to go through 10 versions of BMC beers that I know I won't get. I really don't understand what's so hard about printing your beer list on the menu, or even just on a little side menu?

 

[mcbaumannerb]

I hate making them go through the whole list, especially since they normally have to go through 10 versions of BMC beers that I know I won't get. I really don't understand what's so hard about printing your beer list on the menu, or even just on a little side menu?

This. Buy a chalkboard and hang it over the bar if your selection changes so much that you don't want to print it. Unless the place specializes in craft beers - in which case I expect the wait staff to not only know what's on tap but to be able to talk about the beers.

 

[tripplehazzard]

Man made beer god made pot. .. god is good man is not..

Used to say this a looong time ago.. think its funny now I hope they. Serve beer in hell.. not bmc!

Sent from my SPH-L710 using Home Brew mobile app

 

[kombat]

The doctor banned him from exercise until he could lose 15 lbs [and] explicitly told him to start drinking at least one beer a day

Uhm, how exactly does one abstain from all exercise, drink 2 beers a night, and still lose 15 lbs?

Seriously... figure that out and you're sitting on a gold mine.