Funny things you've overheard about beer

[Mojzis]

"Ipa's are made with more yeast" :smack:

This comment came from someone who worked at a brewpub

Waiting for the well actually....

 

[AmandaK]

From a LHBS employee: "I hate the way beer smells. It just STINKS up the kitchen!" She then went on a 3-4 minute spiel about how she doesn't enjoy certain aspects of the brew day.

The customers left without buying anything.

It's pretty clear to me why this shop is not doing so well.

 

[fuzzy2133]

I have to jump in and hafl-heartedly defend waitstaff. I spent 9 years in the restaurant and bar biz paying for college and later because I loved the human interaction.

Except for places that feature their beer, you are likely to get the equivalent of what was on the menu when hired Why? Because in 2006 when I last worked in a bar, base rate was $2.13/hour. Training rate was minimum wage ($5.13/hour?) so the establishment wanted you on the floor because it cost them less than half per hour. You wanted on the floor because unless you sucked at your job you earned $9-14 on a sad lunch shift.

So the shop wants you out making money and you want out making money. Unless you are passionate about your beer (we are talking a combination of History Majors, Teachers who realized they could make more waiting tables and college kids who earn today to pay their rent tomorrow), why would this be priority?

That being said, I knew my beer, my wine and my liquor. Why? Because $9-14 hour, even in Tulsa, OK, was not nearly good enough to pay for college in cash and maintain the lifestyle I was accustomed to. Drinkers tip and their overall bill is higher...you do the math.

And that is why you are no longer a server. You figured there was more money having the knowledge of what was in the bar.

My wife had a boss years ago that was really into high $$$ Gins and his rule was to offer a taste if of his Gin free of charge before having the bar pour the drink. His boss quickly learned to trust him with all the top shelf stuff.

Back on topic
The primary guy of the LHBS that openly admits to being strictly a wine brewer. His advice is usually just about spot on so I really wonder about his only brewing wine line.

 

[mcspanner]

I had a guest over for dinner with his family at the weekend. Now I don't really know these people but our girls are friends and my girlfriend knows them quite well.

The dad of the family turns up with a carrier bag full of Fosters.

We get talking about beers and I mentioned that I'm not really a lager fan generally and I brew my own, would he like to try one. Here's how the conversation went:

Him: I don't really like bitters, but, sure, I'll try what you've made
Me: Ok, well I only have a saison on the go at the minute anyhow, it's a style of Belgian beer that used to be brewed in farmhouses, so it's not a bitter.
Him: if its not a lager it's a bitter.......
Me: ummm what about stout,s like Guinness for example?
Him: bitter.
Me: or a mild?
Him: bitter.
Me: oh. ( as diplomatically as possible) I'm not sure that's quite right. I'm pretty sure bitter is just one style of many. ( by this time I've poured his saison and hand into him)
Him: no I'm pretty sure you have lagers, bitters and cider. ( tastes it) ah, see this isn't a bitter......it's fizzy, you've made a lager without realising it.
Me: have some falafel.

He went on to drink my saisons all night and when they were leaving I handed him the fosters back, explaining again that lager isn't my thing " funny you don't like it when you can make it! Thanks again!"

Went to bed very confused.

 

[Trail]

I had a guest over for dinner with his family at the weekend. Now I don't really know these people but our girls are friends and my girlfriend knows them quite well.

The dad of the family turns up with a carrier bag full of Fosters.

We get talking about beers and I mentioned that I'm not really a lager fan generally and I brew my own, would he like to try one. Here's how the conversation went:

Him: I don't really like bitters, but, sure, I'll try what you've made
Me: Ok, well I only have a saison on the go at the minute anyhow, it's a style of Belgian beer that used to be brewed in farmhouses, so it's not a bitter.
Him: if its not a lager it's a bitter.......
Me: ummm what about stout,s like Guinness for example?
Him: bitter.
Me: or a mild?
Him: bitter.
Me: oh. ( as diplomatically as possible) I'm not sure that's quite right. I'm pretty sure bitter is just one style of many. ( by this time I've poured his saison and hand into him)
Him: no I'm pretty sure you have lagers, bitters and cider. ( tastes it) ah, see this isn't a bitter......it's fizzy, you've made a lager without realising it.
Me: have some falafel.

He went on to drink my saisons all night and when they were leaving I handed him the fosters back, explaining again that lager isn't my thing " funny you don't like it when you can make it! Thanks again!"

Went to bed very confused.

Someone went to bed confused that night. If it's any consolation, I seriously doubt it was you.

 

[lemy]

I like what I like as well and know I hate Shocktop and Bluemoon. Just my opinion but they taste terrible.

I am enjoying this thread. Funny stuff, but shocktop and bluemoon is a lot better than half the homebrew I have judged at several homebrew competitions. Even Budweiser and Coors we make fun of, but they are hard to reproduce. The very accomplished brewers make light lagers and pilsners, because they are such a challenge to make.

I do not like the Monopoly and politics of big beer, but...

 

[beaksnbeer]

Someone went to bed confused that night. If it's any consolation, I seriously doubt it was you.

Nope, he went to bed confused. If someones mind is made up there is no changing that even with facts.

Been in a similar conversation I even went to the car and brought out my copy of Noonan's "Brewing Lager Beers" and was told: "Any hack can write a book that doesn't mean he's right!" He has been drinking lagers for 30+ years he knows the difference between Lagers and Ales....This over a Spaten(sp) Oktoberfest which it couldn't have been because it's only September and Lagers don't keep well over time like an Ale

 

[markus2982]

From a LHBS employee: \"I hate the way beer smells. It just STINKS up the kitchen!\" She then went on a 3-4 minute spiel about how she doesn\'t enjoy certain aspects of the brew day.

The customers left without buying anything.

It\'s pretty clear to me why this shop is not doing so well.

In STL?

 

[rockbasementbeer]

My buddy once said this was an ale...

 

[FuzzeWuzze]

I haven't had any nosey neighbors yet, but im pretty sure the old lady that walked by while I was rotating my drying hops in the garage thought i was growing weed or something.

It was a pretty potent dank smell coming out of my garage.

 

[mattd2]

I haven't had any nosey neighbors yet, but im pretty sure the old lady that walked by while I was rotating my drying hops in the garage thought i was growing weed or something.

It was a pretty potent dank smell coming out of my garage.

That is one thing I could actually forgive someone for calling the cops about - as most people know what weed should look like (or at least guess correctly that it is a green "leafy" plant that you dry before you smoke it).
Reminds me of the story someone told once about getting meth raided during brewing and the cop being convinced his hops were weed

 

[TheSmithsEra]

LOL My friend recently said while we were drinking at the bar with a few buddies that they call Belgian Quads Quads because they're brewed 4 times

 

[amfukuda]

This isn't really funny but can anybody explain to me how coors "frost brews" their beer

 

[tyzippers]

This isn't really funny but can anybody explain to me how coors "frost brews" their beer

It's just a marketing gag they use on the unsuspecting masses. They'll believe anything. Remember the vortex bottle from miller?

 

[GotPushrods]

Local CL ad

That ad will eventually go down, but the text should live forever...

Did you know that cold beer raises that standard of what beer should be and your customer base keeps coming back ?

Did you know that beer consumers will continually patronize establishments that offer super cold beer?

Did you know that cold beer reduces waste therefore increases profits?

Did you know that the ice effect of Chill-Rite's products draws patrons to the bar to try 32° beer & 5° liquor?

Did you know that merchandising cold beer leads to dramatic increase in customer base?

Did you know that our research has found that patrons never think the beer is too cold?

Frost Rail System

Recessed and insulated Frost Rail can be built into the bar top
Creates an esthetically pleasing and unique look at the bar
Creates a crisp, dry layer of frost on the bar top
Ideal for patrons to rest beer mugs and cocktails upon
Remote reference system with built-in defrost
Customized to fit your bar needs

Temp-Rite Refrigeration

 

[wailingguitar]

This isn't really funny but can anybody explain to me how coors "frost brews" their beer

They DON'T, as said above it is marketing BS... "frost brewing" or "cold brewing" means lagering

 

[wailingguitar]

I am enjoying this thread. Funny stuff, but shocktop and bluemoon is a lot better than half the homebrew I have judged at several homebrew competitions. Even Budweiser and Coors we make fun of, but they are hard to reproduce. The very accomplished brewers make light lagers and pilsners, because they are such a challenge to make.

I do not like the Monopoly and politics of big beer, but...

Agreed about the quality of some beers that make it to competitions, I always try to say something positive... but sometimes it can be hard!

As to the lagers, I agree. I have always said if you want to know how good a brewer is, ask for his Pilsner or Helles

 

[Jonk4]

I went to a restaurant recently and ordered a Guinness. The waitress said, " Oh we're all out, the closest thing I have is a yuengling." yeah those are close.

 

[Onkel_Udo]

I went to a restaurant recently and ordered a Guinness. The waitress said, " Oh we're all out, the closest thing I have is a yuengling." yeah those are close.

You do realize she might not have been talking about Guinness Stout...as Guinness is a brand like IPA is a style

 

[tyzippers]

You do realize she might not have been talking about Guinness Stout...as Guinness is a brand like IPA is a style

Really? When was the last time you've even SEEN anything from Guinness that wasn't a stout? Especially on tap at a restaurant or bar?

 

[drainbamage]

Really? When was the last time you've even SEEN anything from Guinness that wasn't a stout? Especially on tap at a restaurant or bar?

"Well, actually..."

They also have the black lager.

Maybe it was the Yuengling Porter? Just trying to give the benefit of the doubt, not that I've ever seen the porter on tap.

 

[tyzippers]

"Well, actually..."

They also have the black lager.

Maybe it was the Yuengling Porter? Just trying to give the benefit of the doubt, not that I've ever seen the porter on tap.

Still, how are any of those even remotely like yuengling? Just saying. Black vs. Amber...and the same disparity in flavor. I usually try to give the wait staff the benefit of the doubt as well, but sometimes I gotta call a spade a spade.

 

[Billy-Klubb]

the guy at work that tried to tell me that Killian's is "a great craft beer" asked me today if I made anything like Guinness. I told him no and that Guinness tastes like water to me after all the years brewing very hearty stouts & porters. to which he replied, "Really. I might have to try one of yours & see if it makes me stand up." I said, "Hell, son. I beers in my basement that'll make you stand up and others that'll make you sit down. I might even have one or two that'll make you lay down." I won again.

 

[drainbamage]

If they had the porter, that's a least in the ballpark of a stout (more so than the amber, anyway) and would make some sense for her to recommend. That said, I can't remember ever seeing a Yuengling besides the amber on tap anywhere.

 

[Onkel_Udo]

Still, how are any of those even remotely like yuengling? Just saying. Black vs. Amber...and the same disparity in flavor. I usually try to give the wait staff the benefit of the doubt as well, but sometimes I gotta call a spade a spade.

I am not saying, but implying, that you are making same error the servers do selling IPA as a brand. Both of you are wrong...not painfully wrong like comparing Yuenling Lager with Guinness Stout but still perpetuating Guinness as both a style and brand.

Black Lager, Extra Cold, Stout and Export (granted also a stout) are all available on tap in the US. Apparently Yuengling has a Porter as well as their famed Lager (who knew?). As the saying goes "Be more specific!"

 

[tyzippers]

I am not saying, but implying, that you are making same error the servers do selling IPA as a brand. Both of you are wrong...not painfully wrong like comparing Yuenling Lager with Guinness Stout but still perpetuating Guinness as both a style and brand.

Black Lager, Extra Cold, Stout and Export (granted also a stout) are all available on tap in the US. Apparently Yuengling has a Porter as well as their famed Lager (who knew?). As the saying goes "Be more specific!"

Ok. You win. I lose. Lets move on to more funny stuff!

 

[ChshreCat]

hehe I remember when I was young and I'd drink something like Coors and shudder at how bitter it tasted. Then I'd see someone drinking a Guinness and wonder how they could possibly like that "dark strong stuff". Who knew?

 

[mattd2]

My Bud Light swilling neighbor believes "Light" refers to the color and anything that doesn't say that is a "dark" beer.

Oakley Sunglasses

Wow... relevant spam!

 

[tyzippers]

Wow... relevant spam!

That's dedication right there! He's been stinking up other threads too with his prepackaged, processed meat.

 

[lemy]

As to the lagers, I agree. I have always said if you want to know how good a brewer is, ask for his Pilsner or Helles

Absolutely, say something positive. We don't want to discourage and insult people from the hobby, but sometimes it definitely is a challenge.