Funny things you've overheard about beer

[Keith66]

 

[jhoneycutt]

^huh?

 

[Keith66]

^huh?

That's what I said.

"Don Chelada
Michelada Mix
Beer Booster &
Hangover Helper"... in the 99-cent store.

Straight from Wiki: "Michelada (Spanish pronunciation: [mitʃeˈlaða]) is a Mexican cerveza preparada made with beer, lime juice, and assorted sauces, spices, and peppers.[1] It is served in a chilled, salt-rimmed glass.[2] There are numerous variations of this beverage throughout Mexico and Latin America.[1][2]

Some people in Mexico believe micheladas are a good remedy for hangovers, although that's more a custom between drinkers.[3][4][5] There are different variations of Micheladas; for example in Mexico City, the most common form of a Michelada is prepared with beer, lime, salt, and particular hot sauces or chile slices. There are several other optional ingredients such as Maggi, Worcestershire sauce, Chamoy powder, serrano peppers, Clamato, or slices of orange."

I don't think I'll be mixing any homebrew with this... maybe a Corona or Dos Equis just to try it.

 

[McBrewskie]

That's what I said.

"Don Chelada
Michelada Mix
Beer Booster &
Hangover Helper"... in the 99-cent store.

Straight from Wiki: "Michelada (Spanish pronunciation: [mitʃeˈlaða]) is a Mexican cerveza preparada made with beer, lime juice, and assorted sauces, spices, and peppers.[1] It is served in a chilled, salt-rimmed glass.[2] There are numerous variations of this beverage throughout Mexico and Latin America.[1][2]

Some people in Mexico believe micheladas are a good remedy for hangovers, although that's more a custom between drinkers.[3][4][5] There are different variations of Micheladas; for example in Mexico City, the most common form of a Michelada is prepared with beer, lime, salt, and particular hot sauces or chile slices. There are several other optional ingredients such as Maggi, Worcestershire sauce, Chamoy powder, serrano peppers, Clamato, or slices of orange."

I don't think I'll be mixing any homebrew with this... maybe a Corona or Dos Equis just to try it.

Take a Modelo especial or something similar and combine it with your favorite bloody Mary recipe. For example

Modelo Especial
Clamato
Lime juice (good amount)
Salt
Worsterchire
Olive and a little brine
Old bays
Tabasco

Then consume said drink around 11:00 am or so in 90 plus degree weather by a pool.

 

[GrogNerd]

Take a Modelo especial or something similar and combine it with your favorite bloody Mary recipe. For example

Modelo Especial
Clamato
Lime juice (good amount)
Salt
Worsterchire
Olive and a little brine
Old bays
Tabasco

Then consume said drink around 11:00 am or so in 90 plus degree weather by a pool.

the BigHair would say, "the very definition of FOUL"

 

[Leadgolem]

Take a Modelo especial or something similar and combine it with your favorite bloody Mary recipe. For example

Modelo Especial
Clamato
Lime juice (good amount)
Salt
Worsterchire
Olive and a little brine
Old bays
Tabasco

Then consume said drink around 11:00 am or so in 90 plus degree weather by a pool.

Um....no. I think I will drink my rice wine instead.

 

[jhoneycutt]

Well it may make you forget about the hangover... I'll have to pass though haha

 

[Bierliebhaber]

It's hard to resist, but grammar.

On topic: my uncle found out I brewed and wanted a beer. Said he liked "ales or lagers, but nothing too hoppy". Cool thanks for the guidance

It's my priority at the next event I attend, where people are drinking Miller, to explain in the most convincing manner that "triple hopped" means the hop flavor becomes more pronounced if you hop three times while holding the can/bottle before opening.

 

[geniz]

Yesterday at upscale seafood restaurant

Me: What do you have on tap?

Waiter: We just got in LA-31. It's an imperial IPA. High gravity.

Me: (giggle). Ok I'll have one

Later,

Me: What else do you have on tap?

Waiter: We have Fascist Pig. It's my favorite IPA on tap.

Me: (sigh). Ok If it's your favorite. I'll have one

WTF????

 

[forstmeister]

Yesterday at upscale seafood restaurant

Me: What do you have on tap?

Waiter: We just got in LA-31. It's an imperial IPA. High gravity.

Me: (giggle). Ok I'll have one

Later,

Me: What else do you have on tap?

Waiter: We have Fascist Pig. It's my favorite IPA on tap.

Me: (sigh). Ok If it's your favorite. I'll have one

WTF????

Except Fascist Pig is an imperial red by Finch's in Chicago. Hence the name. The recipe is by a friend of mine.

 

[1fast636]

Edit: Woops wrong thread lol

 

[croakerj]

10 min ago at bar in NC. patron drinking budlight (probably a joke). George Bush makes good beer
?????????

 

[Malted_hops]

At a recent gathering, guy shows up empty handed and is going around asking if he can " bum " a beer. Someone offers him a Michelob Amber, he says " eww, a dark beer, those give me a headache. Got anything else?"

 

[mattd2]

At a recent gathering, guy shows up empty handed and is going around asking if he can " bum " a beer. Someone offers him a Michelob Amber, he says " eww, a dark beer, those give me a headache. Got anything else?"

someone neds to learn that beggers can't be choosers

 

[drives_a_bike]

I was having beers with some trainees from work last night. I had been working all week with one of them and he told some of the guys that I brew my own beer, this was the conversation after his comment...

Trainee #1: "oh that's cool! And it's stronger than normal beer too"
Me: "what?"
Trainee #1: "home brewed beer, isn't it like 6%?"
Me: "well, it depends on what you brew...this one is 7.6%"
Trainee #1: "NO WAY! Are you gonna be drunk off of one of them, or what?"
Me: (trying to be nice) "haha...no"
Trainee #2: have you ever had that Bud Light Platinum? It's like 12%!"
Me: "haha!!! No, it's like 6%."
Trainee #2: "oh, so it's like home brewed stuff?"
Me: "I have to go, I'm getting a headache

 

[TastyWheat]

The local Big W (think Walmart) has a tiny brewing section which I like to browse from time to time for a laugh. To give you an idea, they have packets of 'Hops' which come in a circular freeze-dried cake and don't even mention what variety of hop it is. It's just Hops. Yeah.

As I'm reading the packet trying to figure out just what the hell I was actually holding, some random guy comes up to me and says,

Him: So do you brew your own beer?
Me: Yeah, I do.

I put the Freeze Dried Mystery Hops back and pick up a packet of generic finings to read it.

Him: Mate you don't need that stuff, it wrecks your beer. Stay away from it.
Me: Oh?
Him: Trust me on this one. I teach my mates how to brew, they call me "Mr. Beer"!
Me: Is that so?
Him: You bet. All you need is this *points to a can of extract* and some of these *grabs a packet of 'Hops'*, mix them up and in 10 days you'll have yourself a proper BOUTIQUE BEER.
Me: Okay. I'm going now. Bye.

Told the owner of my LHBS about this exchange and he couldn't stop laughing.

 

[RachmaelBenApplebaum]

OK, while not technically something that I "heard"...

In West Virginia, what I brew is legally defined as "non-intoxicating beer". If it's so "non-intoxicating" why do I get so wobbly after a few too many?

Because in that part of the world most folks are whippin up batches of good ole Appalachian white lightning up in the hills. Compared to a jar of that, homebrew could be considered fit for consumption by small children.

 

[Collective_Wisdom]

In a fancy restaurant in NYC:
Me: I'll try the Birra Lursia
Waiter: good choice
(Water returns with bottle)
Me: I'll pour it thanks.
(I pour it just the way I like it and leave the dreggs behind)
(waiter returns when my glass is half empty, swirls the bottle and proceeds to dump it into my clean beer)
Me: woah, that's ok I don't want the rest
Waiter: it's the best part, that's where the most alcohol is!
(waiter dumps the rest of the bottle into my glass, I stare at the cloudy mess)
Friend: that guys an idiot
Me: ...at least my beer is stronger (tongue in cheek)

 

[Swarley88]

In a fancy restaurant in NYC:
Me: I'll try the Birra Lursia
Waiter: good choice
(Water returns with bottle)
Me: I'll pour it thanks.
(I pour it just the way I like it and leave the dreggs behind)
(waiter returns when my glass is half empty, swirls the bottle and proceeds to dump it into my clean beer)
Me: woah, that's ok I don't want the rest
Waiter: it's the best part, that's where the most alcohol is!
(waiter dumps the rest of the bottle into my glass, I stare at the cloudy mess)
Friend: that guys an idiot
Me: ...at least my beer is stronger (tongue in cheek)

Baha, his tips went back in your pocket, eh?

 

[unionrdr]

Makes me wonder how in the world people like that get those jobs?! Alcohol settling out?!! :smack:

 

[wailingguitar]

In a fancy restaurant in NYC:
Me: I'll try the Birra Lursia
Waiter: good choice
(Water returns with bottle)
Me: I'll pour it thanks.
(I pour it just the way I like it and leave the dreggs behind)
(waiter returns when my glass is half empty, swirls the bottle and proceeds to dump it into my clean beer)
Me: woah, that's ok I don't want the rest
Waiter: it's the best part, that's where the most alcohol is!
(waiter dumps the rest of the bottle into my glass, I stare at the cloudy mess)
Friend: that guys an idiot
Me: ...at least my beer is stronger (tongue in cheek)

I would have handed the glass to him and told him to bring me a fresh beer and a clean glass.

 

[Heavywalker]

I was at a graduation party last night for a family member, and overheard something a guy was saying... I immediately thought of this thread.

Guy at the party- "Guinniss is so thick it will stay cold all day"... everyone laughs, other guy says "oh yeah, that stuff is thick.."

 

[TaylorBrewed]

That only dark beers are lagers

 

[Malted_hops]

someone neds to learn that beggers can't be choosers

Guess a Guinness Extra Stout would be cause for a minor aneurysm? But agreed that beggars shouldn't be choosers.

 

[Crito]

In a fancy restaurant in NYC:
Me: I'll try the Birra Lursia
Waiter: good choice
(Water returns with bottle)
Me: I'll pour it thanks.
(I pour it just the way I like it and leave the dreggs behind)
(waiter returns when my glass is half empty, swirls the bottle and proceeds to dump it into my clean beer)
Me: woah, that's ok I don't want the rest
Waiter: it's the best part, that's where the most alcohol is!
(waiter dumps the rest of the bottle into my glass, I stare at the cloudy mess)
Friend: that guys an idiot
Me: ...at least my beer is stronger (tongue in cheek)

... even if the waiter was lousy at his or her job... if they try their best.. then I tip good. But to pour a bottle after the customer said not to.... that's a 50 cent tip.

 

[rockbasementbeer]

... even if the waiter was lousy at his or her job... if they try their best.. then I tip good. But to pour a bottle after the customer said not to.... that's a 50 cent tip.

I'd leave a single penny...or maybe even a peso

 

[Swarley88]

I have to keep explaining to a coworker the difference between ales and lagers. She told a customer today that a session pale ale is a basic ale. I asked her what she meant by that, she replies, "well all ales are the same. "

I had to make a diagram showing her the different styles and that ales are for sure not the all the same. Hopefully I broke through to her, but unfortunately I doubt it :/.

 

[Swarley88]

... even if the waiter was lousy at his or her job... if they try their best.. then I tip good. But to pour a bottle after the customer said not to.... that's a 50 cent tip.

I agree. I can't tip well when they deliberately denied my wishes.

 

[Bierliebhaber]

... even if the waiter was lousy at his or her job... if they try their best.. then I tip good. But to pour a bottle after the customer said not to.... that's a 50 cent tip.

It should be simple. The waiter removes the glass and bottle. Returns with a new bottle and glass. Now, the waiter steps away slowly, only touching the bottle again to bus the table.

 

[drives_a_bike]

Drinking at my buddy's house (who I brew with), and his wife asked if she should keep the bottle we had just drank to reuse. I told her it was a Belgian bottle and we typically don't use them...there was a long conversation about the fact that we'd need a corker, so I showed her one in the Northern Brewer catalog that was on the table, and she said,

"A Portuguese floor corker? Sounds like a crazy sex move!"

I haven't laughed that hard in a REALLY long time.