Funny things you've overheard about beer

[jamesdawsey]

A friend of mine used to drink nothing but Budweiser. Periodically I would share what I consider to be good beer - which is darn near anything except an american lager at this point - and anytime he tasted anything darker than a blonde ale he would tell me that "All dark beers taste like soy sauce!"

We just bottled his first homebrew - a lil sumpin wild clone (which, by the way, turned out really well. We're calling it Barnyard Funk.), and he won't touch budweiser anymore.

 

[Leadgolem]

I like soy sauce...

The Ticks power is ignorance. What he doesn't know can't hurt him. So he is nigh invulnerable.

 

[Vellum]

A friend of mine used to drink nothing but Budweiser. Periodically I would share what I consider to be good beer - which is darn near anything except an american lager at this point - and anytime he tasted anything darker than a blonde ale he would tell me that "All dark beers taste like soy sauce!"

We just bottled his first homebrew - a lil sumpin wild clone (which, by the way, turned out really well. We're calling it Barnyard Funk.), and he won't touch budweiser anymore.

Do you by chance have a recipe link for the lil sumpin wild clone? That is a mighty tasty beer.

 

[loetz]

In reply to this post that copied an Amazon review of 350 Beers...

So on to the innacuracies:

...Austria and Switzerland: The most recognizable and noteworthy beer that either one of these countries ever made is Samichlaus. Not even a mention?...

...Australia: Foster's gets it's own page and Cooper's doesn't even get a mention. Nuff said...

What the reviewer said about Austrian beer is way off. The Austrians invented the Märzen beer which moved to Germany and later became the beer that you in America know as Octoberfest. Austrians also have a quite popular style of beer called zwickel which is a young, unfiltered beer. Over 99% of the population here in Austria have never heard of Samichlaus. That is an overhyped beer exported to America. I suppose it's like thinking that all Australians drink Fosters.

Oh, and ever heard of Vienna lagers?:cross:

 

[Bierliebhaber]

Oh, and ever heard of Vienna lagers?:cross:

Never heard of her...cool last name though.

 

[woknblues]

I used to run a few bars and have heard a lot of funny things people say about beer, but I am sure these have been posted, however:

"I can't drink Guinness, it get's me too drunk" -and other dark beer=high ABV assumptions

"All I can drink is Corona Extra (or some other beer) everything else gives me the @#$%s" -is there something magical in corona that prevents diarrhea?

"My beer is warm" -when it is 34-36 degrees Fahrenheit.

"No thanks, beer makes you fat" -as they are eating a giant plate of french fries with a rum and diet coke.

v.1 "That is a sissy beer" they say about craft/micros and order a BMC macro "man's beer"

v.2 "That is a sissy beer" they say about Bud Light, and then they order a Budweiser.

I could go on and on...

 

[theveganbrewer]

--

 

[Mobius570]

Was in Washington DC around Christmas time for work and we took a break and walked to a local pub. On the front windows in huge letters it says "Lagers - Stouts - Ales". then they have a Dogfish Head sign with a chalk board that listed their specials. Inside they didn't serve one Dogfish Head brew and only had Sam Adams, Boddingtons, Guiness, and BMC's. I should of know from the window lettering to stay away.

 

[GrogNerd]

Was in Washington DC around Christmas time for work and we took a break and walked to a local pub. On the front windows in huge letters it says "Lagers - Stouts - Ales". then they have a Dogfish Head sign with a chalk board that listed their specials. Inside they didn't serve one Dogfish Head brew and only had Sam Adams, Boddingtons, Guiness, and BMC's. I should of know from the window lettering to stay away.

next time in DC, try the Bier Baron, formerly the Brickskeller, Guinness World Record holder as "the bar with the largest selection of commercially available beers."

here's a list of what they have available

 

[gcdowd]

next time in DC, try the Bier Baron, formerly the Brickskeller, Guinness World Record holder as "the bar with the largest selection of commercially available beers."

here's a list of what they have available

Omg, I need to go there!

 

[GrogNerd]

Omg, I need to go there!

haha... reminds me of Liz Lemon: I want to go to there

 

[loetz]

next time in DC, try the Bier Baron, formerly the Brickskeller, Guinness World Record holder as "the bar with the largest selection of commercially available beers."

here's a list of what they have available

But Delirium Cafe has over 2000 beers. I thought they held the Guinness World Record.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/D%C3%A9lirium_Caf%C3%A9

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Brickskeller

WHICH ONE IS IT, WIKIPEDIA???


EDIT: I think the Brickskeller people are lying.
http://www.guinnessworldrecords.com/Search.aspx?q=brikskeller

Back on topic: This is something that annoys me. I cant remember how many beers I've had that claim to be the strongest in the world or the oldest or the first of the style or some crap like that. It has become a joke with my wife and me. I once did a tour of a brewery where they claimed to have been the ones to invent lager. They said it was discovered by a kid who was given one of their malt drinks because he was sick. Supposidly he left the drink next to a cold window for a long time and, voila, lager was invented.

 

[GrogNerd]

wikipedia sources this article in April 15, 2005 Washington Post

wouldn't be the first time WaPo was wrong

good catch. though it's still an amazing number of beers. we'll call it "the most in the US" until someone else can source someplace with more

(your search misspells "Brickskeller" but either way, search comes up NULL)

 

[Eddiebosox]

i try very hard not to get too snooty about lite lagers. No one wants to turn into the insufferable beer snob. I dont drink them that often, but they have their place, and are thirst quenching on a hot day when you're at a friends party and its all he has...

I grew up in an Irish household and Guinness was the gold standard. it wasn't until I had my beer awakening that i realized, Guinness really isn't that great.

 

[Eddiebosox]

wikipedia sources this article in April 15, 2005 Washington Post

wouldn't be the first time WaPo was wrong

good catch. though it's still an amazing number of beers. we'll call it "the most in the US" until someone else can source someplace with more

(your search misspells "Brickskeller" but either way, search comes up NULL)

I'm live in DC and I rarely go there. Its a dive for one, and a lot of the beers they say they have they just dont have. Plus, a lot of them are past their prime, they aren't kept in the right temperature, and there's a limited draft menu. The place to go to is Church Key, a beer geeks dream come true.

 

[robertfraser]

OT, but have you ever seen someone actually do that? (Kick themselves in the nads, that is)

Had a guy on my floor freshman year of college that figured out one night he could do it. And would, on request.

Which we did often.

Pretty sure he can't breed now. (Which, in retrospect, is probably a good thing.)

Edit to add: The non-knee dislocating trick is, you use the heel of your foot in an upward striking motion. I personally thank all that is good and holy that I am nowhere near flexible enough for an accidental self-inflicted nad kick, but it can be done.

you guys are an awesome goldmine of information.... I'm setting aside the weekend for auto-gonadal pummelation practice.....

Wait, to make sure I stay on topic....
(ACTUALLY, THE PROPER TERM IS "SELF-TESTICULAR PUNTING")

 

[Eddiebosox]

I used to run a few bars and have heard a lot of funny things people say about beer, but I am sure these have been posted, however:

"I can't drink Guinness, it get's me too drunk" -and other dark beer=high ABV assumptions

"All I can drink is Corona Extra (or some other beer) everything else gives me the @#$%s" -is there something magical in corona that prevents diarrhea?

"My beer is warm" -when it is 34-36 degrees Fahrenheit.

"No thanks, beer makes you fat" -as they are eating a giant plate of french fries with a rum and diet coke.

v.1 "That is a sissy beer" they say about craft/micros and order a BMC macro "man's beer"

v.2 "That is a sissy beer" they say about Bud Light, and then they order a Budweiser.

I could go on and on...

Good list. Here's mine:

Hipsters who drink PBR because they thinks its ironic, yet are also food snobs.

people who drink beer in a frosted glass.

 

[GrogNerd]

I'm live in DC and I rarely go there. Its a dive for one, and a lot of the beers they say they have they just dont have. Plus, a lot of them are past their prime, they aren't kept in the right temperature, and there's a limited draft menu. The place to go to is Church Key, a beer geeks dream come true.

next time I'm downtown, I'll have to check out Church Key, THANKS!

but I haven't been down that way since it was the Brickskeller

 

[ViperMan]

OH OH OH I've got one...

My father-in-law is a bit prude'ish, and doesn't look favorably on "fun" in pretty much any kind or form... I however ended up getting his daughter pregnant after 6 years of marriage. I knew he wouldn't smoke a cigar with me, but he agreed to go "halfsies" on a beer. So I brewed a stout and called it "Poopy Diaper Ale" for our first kid. Unfortunately, it got some bacteria and didn't come out right.

I poured him a half-glass anyways to see what he thought. He took a few sips and it was obvious he didn't care for it. So I said, "Alright, well since that stunk, let me share something else with you..." I went to the fridge and grabbed another homebrew - an amber ale with paradise seed. He chuckled nervously from the dining room and said,

"Well, alright, but I DO have to drive tomorrow..."

 

[WesleyBrewViking]

-snip- I'm setting aside the weekend for auto-gonadal pummelation practice..... -snip-

Scene from CSI (or other criminal forensics drama):

"Notice the ovate contusions on the adductor group and scrotal hematoma."
"Yeah. Looks to me like our John Doe was into auto-gonadal pummelation."

 

[Bierliebhaber]

I grew up in an Irish household and Guinness was the gold standard. it wasn't until I had my beer awakening that i realized, Guinness really isn't that great.

Have your ever had it in GB or Ireland? I don't know if it's just the ambience of a hewn stone-walled underground university bar, but I swear it's nearly a different beer altogether there.

 

[Mobius570]

next time in DC, try the Bier Baron, formerly the Brickskeller, Guinness World Record holder as "the bar with the largest selection of commercially available beers."

here's a list of what they have available

Awesome, I'll check it out, along with Church Key.

 

[Curtis2010]

Funny statement from a friend today..."hey, that melomel is pretty tasty and I don't normally even like beer".

 

[Eddiebosox]

Have your ever had it in GB or Ireland? I don't know if it's just the ambience of a hewn stone-walled underground university bar, but I swear it's nearly a different beer altogether there.

Agreed, it is better. Although I'm spending ten days in London this may and I am putting all My energies into drinking cask conditioned real ales. I won't waste time with Guinness

 

[mikeh80]

Have your ever had it in GB or Ireland? I don't know if it's just the ambience of a hewn stone-walled underground university bar, but I swear it's nearly a different beer altogether there.

Even in the smoking area at the Shannon airport it was better than what we get over here.

 

[beerluvva]

Not about beer but funny stuff heard in a bar no less:

young dude, well on his way for that eveinng, steps up to the bar and asks for a "Telemundo." (Tullamore Dew)

 

[phenry]

"How do they get such intense aroma in this Hamslop?"

My mother after two bottles of Hopslam. She quickly corrected herself, but I couldn't help but laugh at that little bit of dyslexia surfacing.

 

[BeerAbs]

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Black dog ale. My friends say its too "hoppy"... I wanted to hit them.

 

[HoppyDaze]

You can't snort it

 

[Minky]

Scene from CSI (or other criminal forensics drama):

"Notice the ovate contusions on the adductor group and scrotal hematoma."
"Yeah. Looks to me like our John Doe was into auto-gonadal pummelation."

...and, by the way, "Scrotal Hematoma" would be a great name for a band!!