Funny things you've overheard about beer

[GrogNerd]

yeah, i'm an idiot... got my #s mixed up or saw a zero that wasn't there or didn't see one that was

 

[logan3825]

The BA seems to disqualify D.G. Yuengling and Sons Inc. based on the adjunct stipulation. The adjunct stipulation seems to be pretty subjective. Seeing as how adjuncts could be right for the style of beer Yuengling makes. I think the most important thing is being independent of BMC and size. Heck those 2 don't even bother me as long as the beer is good. I admit being jealous of people who like inexpensive mass produced beer. I wish my beer cost as little as theirs does.

 

[Mojzis]

When I started getting into beer, I drank a lot of Yuengling. Still will have a few when it costs 8$ for a craft draft at the bar, or when I have guests that drink bmc. To me they are still a micro, and family owned with a good beer is the selling factor.

 

[Billy-Klubb]

yesterday we got some new neighbors right across the street. I saw them in the liquor store.
husband: what kind of beer do you want?
wife:it all tastes the same to me.
husband: ok, you'll have Busch Light then & I'll drink the good stuff.

I looked over and he had a case of Busch Light & a case of Bud Light. I laughed a little and said, "you won that one." he smiled & nodded like he was getting away with something.:smack:

 

[craigger64]

:smack::smack::smack:

yesterday we got some new neighbors right across the street. I saw them in the liquor store.
husband: what kind of beer do you want?
wife:it all tastes the same to me.
husband: ok, you'll have Busch Light then & I'll drink the good stuff.

I looked over and he had a case of Busch Light & a case of Bud Light. I laughed a little and said, "you won that one." he smiled & nodded like he was getting away with something.:smack:

:smack: :smack: :smack: :smack: :smack: :smack:

 

[histo320]

A guy at work asks what I am doing over the weekend. "Not much." I say, "Might brew some beer." "Wow!" Says the guy, "You ever get caught?"

As I was cleaning my garage today, I was taking count of all of my bottles and other supplies (sadly I broke both my hydrometer and thermometer) and he asked "why do you have so many bottles?" I said I used to brew my own beer and now I'm getting started again.


He said, "well make sure the cops don't see you, its illegal you know." After clarifying how it isn't illegal he still said it was since making Moonshine is illegal, why would it be okay to make beer. Then he reminded me not to get caught.

 

[GrogNerd]

saw my neighbor in total wine this afternoon

he was checking out the craft beer section

 

[tennesseean_87]

On a craft beer blog devoted to the very best beers in the world: "weizenbocks and dunkelweizens are some of my favorite lager styles". The guy obviously drops major coin on rare beers to rate, so this was a bit surprising.

 

[Evan_L]

After laughing my @ss off to this thread for the past month, I finally have a contribution.

Sent a sixer of my first beer, a cooper's ipa extract kit, to my sister and BIL, been waiting for a few weeks for some feedback, was worried that they had tried it and were afraid to tell me it sucked. They normally drink BMC but i've caught 'em with some good stuff in the fridge now and then.

Sis texted me tonight, they had some people over and broke it out. "overall impression is that they like it, xyz said that it was a really good stout, almost like guiness"

She said she tried to explain the ipa part but to no avail. (in their defense, it did come out very dark, i guess the BMC crowd has 2 categories, light beer (fizzy yellow water) and guiness (anything darker than urine)

 

[highgravitybacon]

After laughing my @ss off to this thread for the past month, I finally have a contribution.

Sent a sixer of my first beer, a cooper's ipa extract kit, to my sister and BIL, been waiting for a few weeks for some feedback, was worried that they had tried it and were afraid to tell me it sucked. They normally drink BMC but i've caught 'em with some good stuff in the fridge now and then.

Sis texted me tonight, they had some people over and broke it out. "overall impression is that they like it, xyz said that it was a really good stout, almost like guiness"

She said she tried to explain the ipa part but to no avail. (in their defense, it did come out very dark, i guess the BMC crowd has 2 categories, light beer (fizzy yellow water) and guiness (anything darker than urine)

Before I knew anything about beer, I thought that beer comes in five flavors: light lager, premium lager, ice lager, dry lager and dark lager. That's all the beer flavors.

Any other description was simply superfluous.

 

[user 103238]

A friend just asked me to let her husband try some of my homebrew. Naturally I asked what he liked. He told her, Alaskan Amber - lagers. I didn't have the heart to correct either of them, I just told her I had the perfect beer for him (either way, I won't be wrong!).

 

[cluckk]

With the popularity of the show Moonshiners a whole new generation of stupid questions have been born:
"You brew beer? You mean like on Moonshiners?"
"You brew beer? Where is your still?"
"You brew beer? I love that. I watch Moonshiners all the time."
"You homebrew? I've always wanted to make my own whiskey."
Or the people who somehow think of homebrewing as inferior to distilling: "You brew beer huh? That's fine. But, I really want to learn to make whiskey." I see this same person all the time with a beer in his hand, but have never seen or even heard of him drinking whiskey.
Or the silliest: "You brew beer? Do you have a friend named Tickle, too?" I hope this last one was kidding.

 

[snaps10]

My wife and I brewed up 9 kegs (and a case) for m brother in laws wedding this weekend.
We did 5 gallons of stout
10 gallons of IPA
10 gallons of honey wheat
And 20 gallons of my pale blonde

As I was setting up the jockey box and the groomsmen were taking the first few pours, one piped up, "I wonder how many people here are used to drinking unfiltered, non-pasteurized beer?"
I made some snide remarks about how there are going to be some serious beer farts and runs to the bathrooms later on in the night.
Fast forward 3.5 hours. All of the kegs are dry, my wife, myself, and another couple who brew are downing a ridiculously expensive bottle of Pinot while soaking the night away in the hot tub. My friend's wife pipes up, "Good Lord! Did you guys smell how bad it was in that tent! It smelled like everyone farted at once."
My buddy and I nodded at each other, clinked glasses, and proceeded to laugh about it for the rest of the night.

 

[bergen69]

After laughing my @ss off to this thread for the past month, I finally have a contribution.

Sent a sixer of my first beer, a cooper's ipa extract kit, to my sister and BIL, been waiting for a few weeks for some feedback, was worried that they had tried it and were afraid to tell me it sucked. They normally drink BMC but i've caught 'em with some good stuff in the fridge now and then.

Sis texted me tonight, they had some people over and broke it out. "overall impression is that they like it, xyz said that it was a really good stout, almost like guiness"

She said she tried to explain the ipa part but to no avail. (in their defense, it did come out very dark, i guess the BMC crowd has 2 categories, light beer (fizzy yellow water) and guiness (anything darker than urine)

My urine is a nice copper color due to all the beer I drink. My wife says I need to drink more water...so I do I just cut it with about 5% alcohol and some hops.

 

[bleme]

With the popularity of the show Moonshiners a whole new generation of stupid questions have been born:
"You brew beer? You mean like on Moonshiners?"

Moonshiners is actually what got me into brewing. I was over at a friends house and we started joking about getting into the biz, asking our wives if they would keep the still running if we got caught. One thing led to another and we ended up in a serious conversation about making beer. We usually brew 5G batches together and split them when we bottle.

 

[liquiditynerd]

My friend's wife pipes up, "Good Lord! Did you guys smell how bad it was in that tent! It smelled like everyone farted at once."

My buddy and I nodded at each other, clinked glasses, and proceeded to laugh about it for the rest of the night.[/QUOTE]

That's right home brewers are walking factories, we eat and wash it down with bottle conditioned home brew with live yeast cultures eating up all the digestible sugars in our stomach while farting co2 and pissin ethanol. Lol, I had that thought last night thinking about this thread.

 

[Billy-Klubb]

"If you drink the stuff in the bottom, it can kill you. Humans can't have yeast." no s&%#, I've heard that more than once from different people.

 

[Ostomo517]

"If you drink the stuff in the bottom, it can kill you. Humans can't have yeast." no s&%#, I've heard that more than once from different people.

WHAT??!!! How come no one told me! All this beer and bread....im a goner for sure!

 

[Billy-Klubb]

WHAT??!!! How come no one told me! All this beer and bread....im a goner for sure!

I figure that people drinking "the stuff on the bottom" will ultimately lead to the Zombie Apocalypse. we should be immune from the many years handling yeast. brewers with beards should be able to command zombies by way of thought alone.

 

[stat]

I figure that people drinking "the stuff on the bottom" will ultimately lead to the Zombie Apocalypse. we should be immune from the many years handling yeast. brewers with beards should be able to command zombies by way of thought alone.

Friday sounds like its going to be fun. I wonder if I'll be the first person to make an all zombie slave brewed beer.

 

[Ryush806]

Tonight at a restaurant with fairly standard (aka bad) beer selection, my wife ordered a Stella Artois. After about 10 minutes the waiter came back and said "I'm sorry ma'am. What was the name of the wine you ordered again?" :facepalm: I figured Stella was pretty standard but I guess not.

 

[Leadgolem]

I figure that people drinking "the stuff on the bottom" will ultimately lead to the Zombie Apocalypse. we should be immune from the many years handling yeast. brewers with beards should be able to command zombies by way of thought alone.

This bears investigation. I should have gnome something like this would arise...

 

[cheezydemon3]

Yeast don't convert you into a zombie. That is preposterous.

I thought this was a serious discussion.

Consumption of an entire yeast cake would not make you die, though you might want to.....for upon the next Friday evening at 8:43pm you will transform into a half man half pig monstrosity which will become the bane of your community. Yep, yeast is were-pig juice.....and god knows we don't need more of those.(except for a few obscure beer recipes)

 

[TyTanium]

Yeast don't convert you into a zombie.

Consumption of an entire yeast cake would not make you die...

True. I used to save the slurry in the fridge and mix it with OJ in the morning. Yeast is a superfood you know. Also nice in Belgian waffles.

 

[cheezydemon3]

True. I used to save the slurry in the fridge and mix it with OJ in the morning. Yeast is a superfood you know. Also nice in Belgian waffles.

Mmmmmm waffles....SUPERGOOD!!

Mmmmmmm yeast slurry...OJ..... SUPERPUKE!!!

 

[ArrogantDusty]

I try not to correct people unless they are my closer friends and most of them know about beer now because of me. We were all there once and it is hard not to come off like a beer snob when talking to strangers.

The Guinness meal in a glass thing messes with me though. I just don't understand how a sane person can really think there are like 500 or whatever calories in such an easy drinking beverage.

I tried for a time to correct this by showing them the calories on my smart phone and tell them it is like drinking a bud heavy (that's what they lovingly call Budweiser here in St Louis). It's always a shock somehow and they say that they think the Guinness that they brew in Ireland is different then and that is like a meal in a glass. whatever...I have given up. I just have them try my actual heavy stout or IPA and watch their faces.

About a month ago, I was out with some friends and had someone in the group question my choice on ordering an IPA. He kind of did it loud enough that it was like calling me out in front of the group. He said, "I thought you were a beer guy, don't you brew?" I said I did. He asked why I was drinking a "pale beer" then. He of course had a Guinness in front of him and said that he figured that I would be drinking the same.

I told him that I was a fan of most beer styles and do enjoy Guinness, but wanted something a bit heavier. I chose these words on purpose because the little devil on my shoulder knew that it would set him off and he was already kind of being a *******. He of course mentioned the meal in a glass and the color as proof that Guinness was the heaviest beer. I had him right where I wanted him.

I politely disagreed and told him that he could decide for himself and bought him one of what I was drinking, unfortunately for him, I was drinking a Stone Ruination...

The mingled look of horror and embarrassment that went over his face was well worth the price of a beer. He kept with it and tried to keep drinking it but in the end could not. He gave me the fact that it was a hard beer to drink but still said that it was just because it was a bad beer. He said that no one would drink that beer. We were at a craft beer lover bar so I pointed out how often the Stone beers were being poured.

I then told him since he didn't like bitter beers, he should try what my girlfriend was drinking, if he liked stouts, he would probably like it too. I guess I am the ******* at this point because she was drinking 2nd Shift Liquid Spiritual Delight. After that, he conceded that he didn't know as much as he thought but still blamed others for his faulty info.

Since then, he ha been trying a lot of beers though so that worked out alright. The only problem is, a well informed ******* is worse because he'll probably pull my trick on others who are less deserving.

 

[gcdowd]

I try not to correct people unless they are my closer friends and most of them know about beer now because of me. We were all there once and it is hard not to come off like a beer snob when talking to strangers.

The Guinness meal in a glass thing messes with me though. I just don't understand how a sane person can really think there are like 500 or whatever calories in such an easy drinking beverage.

I tried for a time to correct this by showing them the calories on my smart phone and tell them it is like drinking a bud heavy (that's what they lovingly call Budweiser here in St Louis). It's always a shock somehow and they say that they think the Guinness that they brew in Ireland is different then and that is like a meal in a glass. whatever...I have given up. I just have them try my actual heavy stout or IPA and watch their faces.

About a month ago, I was out with some friends and had someone in the group question my choice on ordering an IPA. He kind of did it loud enough that it was like calling me out in front of the group. He said, "I thought you were a beer guy, don't you brew?" I said I did. He asked why I was drinking a "pale beer" then. He of course had a Guinness in front of him and said that he figured that I would be drinking the same.

I told him that I was a fan of most beer styles and do enjoy Guinness, but wanted something a bit heavier. I chose these words on purpose because the little devil on my shoulder knew that it would set him off and he was already kind of being a *******. He of course mentioned the meal in a glass and the color as proof that Guinness was the heaviest beer. I had him right where I wanted him.

I politely disagreed and told him that he could decide for himself and bought him one of what I was drinking, unfortunately for him, I was drinking a Stone Ruination...

The mingled look of horror and embarrassment that went over his face was well worth the price of a beer. He kept with it and tried to keep drinking it but in the end could not. He gave me the fact that it was a hard beer to drink but still said that it was just because it was a bad beer. He said that no one would drink that beer. We were at a craft beer lover bar so I pointed out how often the Stone beers were being poured.

I then told him since he didn't like bitter beers, he should try what my girlfriend was drinking, if he liked stouts, he would probably like it too. I guess I am the ******* at this point because she was drinking 2nd Shift Liquid Spiritual Delight. After that, he conceded that he didn't know as much as he thought but still blamed others for his faulty info.

Since then, he ha been trying a lot of beers though so that worked out alright. The only problem is, a well informed ******* is worse because he'll probably pull my trick on others who are less deserving.

Epic.

 

[Homercidal]

People never believe me when I tell them Guinness is actually a fairly light beer if you aren't considering color. But then if their beer isn't the color of a well-hydrated man's urine, they are afraid of it around here.

 

[Sir Humpsalot]

People never believe me when I tell them Guinness is actually a fairly light beer if you aren't considering color.

I believe you!

 

[BigTuna]

guess the BMC crowd has 2 categories, light beer (fizzy yellow water) and guiness (anything darker than urine)

Haha, this is the truth. I just had my good friend over for some first pours of a brown ale I did and he brought a friend. When I poured the beer, mind you, BROWN ALE the friend of my friend said "OHHH, IT'S LIKE GUINESS!" I had to contain myself, not from laughter but from being extremely sarcastic haha. I just told him, Not every dark beer is guiness.