Funny things you've overheard about beer

[burninator]

Wait... you can milk an oyster?

Yeah, you can milk anything that has nipples.

 

[TheCADJockey]

I can't say anything... before I got into craft beer, we used to regularly enjoy "Lunchboxes" after a long kitchen shift..

Lunchbox:
One pounder of Sparks energy drink
One pounder of Miller High Life

Mix in a ridiculously large glass, get wasted, blow things up.

 

[hunter_le five]

Yeah, you can milk anything that has nipples.

I have nipples, burninator. Could you milk me?

 

[Psylocide]

I have nipples, burninator. Could you milk me?

 

[1977Brewer]

I can't say anything... before I got into craft beer, we used to regularly enjoy "Lunchboxes" after a long kitchen shift..

Lunchbox:
One pounder of Sparks energy drink
One pounder of Miller High Life

Mix in a ridiculously large glass, get wasted, blow things up.

You invented 4 Loko. You should sue.

 

[soccerdad]

I have milked hunter_la5, but I'm not telling you guys about it.

ps - he has really nice nipples !

* oh crap, i drank my lunch again ... dammit ! *

 

[cannman]

Someone who tried my American Light Lager today said, "this is as good as any commercial beer I've had..."

Hmmmm

Compliment or Bitch-Slap....?

 

[burninator]

Someone who tried my American Light Lager today said, "this is as good as any commercial beer I've had..."

Hmmmm

Compliment or Bitch-Slap....?

Tastes like it was brewed the hard way.

 

[Kmeister]

I took my uncle to a local microbrewery/restaruant and he asked the bartender for a coors light and they of course did not have it so he asked what the closest thing to coors light that they had? The bartender replied, umm water...I about fell off the stool laughing.

 

[DrunkleJon]

Wait... you can milk an oyster?

You can't?

 

[cannman]

Tastes like it was brewed the hard way.

Bawhahahah let's not beat that horse again until Super Bowl "L"

 

[Billy-Klubb]

You can't?

I can't. too many fights along with welders hands. but I can punch all those oysters in the berries! and then I'll punch the Oi!sters in the berries!

 

[n240sxguy]

There's no way that doesn't taste like cough syrup.

That's almost exactly what it tastes like.

 

[n240sxguy]

Yeah, you can milk anything that has nipples.

Haha. I see what you did there focker.

 

[biochemedic]

Haha. I see what you did there focker.

You think you're pretty punny, don't you?

 

[Nephron]

Some of this thread's comments concerned risks in making alcohol at home. Beside comments about taxation, I saw comments about distillation contaminants, including wood alcohol and antifreeze.

I think the risk of blindness with illegal 'stills' was due to some folks putting (inexpensive) wood chips into the mash (making "Wood Alcohol" which is methanol). Methanol binds to the optic nerve (blindness). 1 teaspoon can blind an adult. Antifreeze is usually ethylene glycol, which human livers convert to oxalate. Oxalate crystallizes in cells and they die. Important stuff like kidneys, liver.

Fun fact: To solve both of these you use dialysis, but for methanol ingestions until you can get it set up, you start IV ethanol (goal is to get the blood level to 0.1 mg/dl). In a methanol ingestion, ethanol binds to the optic nerve better, blocking methanol and preventing some of the damage. Years ago, I had a 4-year-old who had swallowed methanol. When her ethanol level reached 0.1, she uttered the universal phrase: "I really love you guys..."

There's something special about ethanol, isn't there...

 

[1977Brewer]

Tried to get wifey to try my (still green) Light Ale last night. I informed her that the yeast still had some cleaning up to do, but it was darn drinkable right now.

"I'm not even trying that until they're done "cleaning up". I don't want your dirty beer."

 

[DrunkleJon]

Some of this thread's comments concerned risks in making alcohol at home. Beside comments about taxation, I saw comments about distillation contaminants, including wood alcohol and antifreeze.

I think the risk of blindness with illegal 'stills' was due to some folks putting (inexpensive) wood chips into the mash (making "Wood Alcohol" which is methanol). Methanol binds to the optic nerve (blindness). 1 teaspoon can blind an adult. Antifreeze is usually ethylene glycol, which human livers convert to oxalate. Oxalate crystallizes in cells and they die. Important stuff like kidneys, liver.

Fun fact: To solve both of these you use dialysis, but for methanol ingestions until you can get it set up, you start IV ethanol (goal is to get the blood level to 0.1 mg/dl). In a methanol ingestion, ethanol binds to the optic nerve better, blocking methanol and preventing some of the damage. Years ago, I had a 4-year-old who had swallowed methanol. When her ethanol level reached 0.1, she uttered the universal phrase: "I really love you guys..."

There's something special about ethanol, isn't there...

Not to mention that a lot of the stills were made with lead solder. Lead = bad for health.

There's something special about ethanol, isn't there...

Yes, yes there is.

 

[Nephron]

On re-reading, thought I should mention that the wood chips problem happened when the products of wood fermentation were super-concentrated (distilling) not simple things like flavoring beer (e.g. Rauch Bier).

 

[Fedora]

Boiling wood chips in ethanol does NOT produce methanol. Please do your homework and stop regurgitating fallacies which further misconceptions about the D word and hinder legalization efforts.

And we really should not be discussing this here at all. I enjoy this thread. Please dont get it locked.

 

[Mojzis]

Saw a billboard for these earlier. View attachment 259407 alloy series...

As if steel reserve wasn't bad enough

They're fulfilling a great niche there. Malt liquor for those desperate to get drunk and cough syrup for the kids who desperately want to get stoned.

 

[Oberon67]

I was going to say, I always thought methanol production was a pyrolysis process, not a fermentation...

 

[Nephron]

Boiling wood chips in ethanol does NOT produce methanol. Please do your homework and stop regurgitating fallacies which further misconceptions about the D word and hinder legalization efforts.

And we really should not be discussing this here at all. I enjoy this thread. Please dont get it locked.

Few people are experts in all of the biochemistry that this forum covers. When one person brings a concept that another can correct, everyone learns. An earlier post from a frequent contributor said that 'antifreeze' was a contaminant harming people in fermented products, but I think methanol was the actual contaminant they were referring to. I learned today about pyrolysis:

(Wikipedia): Pyrolysis is a thermochemical decomposition of organic material at elevated temperatures in the absence of oxygen.... It involves the simultaneous change of chemical composition and physical phase, and is irreversible.

Whether the offending chemical came from heat, fermentation, or contamination does matter. We use a little heat and a lot of fermentation. Ethylene glycol (like lead) is a contaminant-never a byproduct of processing. Maybe the temperature in boiling is far from that which causes pyrolysis? If so, then it would be true that, "Boiling wood chips in ethanol does NOT produce methanol". But my homework still tells me that people who intended to make an ethanol-containing liquid (by an illegal means) unintentionally made one containing methanol, which is toxic. That's not a risk for people who make beer, and the science behind the safety is interesting to some.
Old guys (like me) should stick to face-to-face discussions at the local brew shop, and leave the electronic dialog to experts. Signing off.

 

[zmanzorro]

I always think of Left Hand Brewing when I drive by this sign in my neighborhood.

View attachment 1425061739512.jpg

 

[SnakeRidge]

On the topic of Steel Reezy:

http://dontdrinkbeer.com/2012/03/23...ot-211-problems-and-this-beer-is-all-but-one/

 

[fuzzy2133]

On the topic of Steel Reezy:

http://dontdrinkbeer.com/2012/03/23...ot-211-problems-and-this-beer-is-all-but-one/

Awesome read. Nailed the appearance as being the only good thing!

 

[leightonp]

In the comments of an article about the Small BREW Act someone posted a comment saying "they are just trying to give craft brewers like Samuel Adams a break while Bud, miller, and coors suffer"

I almost spit my beer out

 

[drainbamage]

In the comments of an article about the Small BREW Act someone posted a comment saying "they are just trying to give craft brewers like Samuel Adams a break while Bud, miller, and coors suffer"

I almost spit my beer out

I did see that the definition of "craft brewery" for taxation purposes was proposed to be raised to 6,000,000 bbl. How many breweries does that even cover?

 

[leightonp]

I'm sure most of your start ups and small established breweries are far below that threshold.

 

[drainbamage]

Wikipedia puts Boston Brewing Co. and Yuengling at around 2,500,000 bbl. Sierra Nevada is the next behind at 800,000 bbl. That's a lot of room for expansion!