From a porch, comes a barrel?

[ismellweird]

Making a water tight wooden vessel suitable for storing beer should probably not be your first foray into fine woodworking. Like I mentioned before coopers spend years in a apprenticeship to master the craft. Thinking you can follow some directions and master it by Friday is not only unrealistic but also disrespectful to coopers. Your better off buying a fee kegs or glass carboys.

** Helpful unsolicited advice*** If your not trolling, don't engage in the poopy and take the advice given. (i.e., see my previous posts)

I think I've seen coopers post on here and I've really meant no disrespect to him and I'm not foraying into fine woodworking, just trying to make a barrel. It doesn't have to look nice and I won't pretend I know anything about the trade, but maybe if I try once and make mistakes that's how someone learns a new skill for the future. I guess that's really all I was trying to ask, sorry to cause the distress, I'm not the best communicator on here.

 

[ismellweird]

[QUOTE=" The video you sent me, makes me think there is no way I can do this.

Ftfy


Just to be clear we are talking about the used floor boards, right?[/QUOTE]

No, I'm talking about the fire and conveyor belts and I don't have that sort of operation to make barrels like that. If I knew a guy like coopers in real life I'd just use his equipment but I'm on my own with simple materials so I was saying there was no way I could do what's being done in that video!! I'm glad I saw it.

 

[Br3w4u]

You better not be talking trash on Cooper! He is a bad mother lover!

 

[Br3w4u]

If you can’t make fire and conveyor belts then you might as well give up now. That’s basic knowledge for most people.

 

[lump42]

It's actually dead easy. Just get a bucket and stick the boards in it using your head as a mould to hold them in place around the edges and then get someone to put in melted wax or tar until it sets. There you have your barrel and you can also use it as a helmet for historical reenactments and the like as it will be ergonomic as poopy.

If you coat the inside with wax, why not skip the hassle and put it directly in the bucket? You just trading one group of hydrocarbons for another.

 

[lump42]

I think I've seen coopers post on here and I've really meant no disrespect to him and I'm not foraying into fine woodworking, just trying to make a barrel. It doesn't have to look nice and I won't pretend I know anything about the trade, but maybe if I try once and make mistakes that's how someone learns a new skill for the future. I guess that's really all I was trying to ask, sorry to cause the distress, I'm not the best communicator on here.

The fact that you want to make a barrel is not disrespectful. The haste at which you are wanting to learn and make a water tight barrel of quality to store beer is what comes off as disrespect to craft. If you are going to use the scrap lumber from the deck and begin teaching yourself how to build a barrel, I think that is a great and resourceful use of materials. Just know it will look awful and won't be water tight, like everyone's first batch of beer may have been drinkable but wasn't spectacular.

You might want to want to take these and other mistakes and try to learn from them. If you have a history of being a poor communicator through written language and have made no attempts to improve, you can only expect to get the same unuseful comments from others on here.

Here's a more in depth video:

 

[Manufacturedevolution]

You better not be talking trash on Cooper! He is a bad mother lover!

 

[Br3w4u]

Hi guys, just looking for instructions on how to make a water tight box or vessel for the beer, ideally by friday at 3. No trolling just a question. Thanks!

Why Friday at 3? Is that the screening for the new Kato lookalike movie?

 

[baldm79]

Hi everyone, I'm done replacing the boards on my porch, and I have 3 things left over from the project: Wood, bourbon and a recipe for my cupcake stout. Exactly, a bourbon barrel aged stout, so why invent the wheel when I've already got what I need to just make it. Can someone please outline or point me to the steps for building a barrel? Not a huge rush as I won't do it until Friday afternoon after work.

mell

If you’re serious, buy a barrel. It can be used multiple times if handled properly.
If you just feel like playing with wood, there’s plenty of easier ways to do that...

 

[ismellweird]

The fact that you want to make a barrel is not disrespectful. The haste at which you are wanting to learn and make a water tight barrel of quality to store beer is what comes off as disrespect to craft. If you are going to use the scrap lumber from the deck and begin teaching yourself how to build a barrel, I think that is a great and resourceful use of materials. Just know it will look awful and won't be water tight, like everyone's first batch of beer may have been drinkable but wasn't spectacular.

You might want to want to take these and other mistakes and try to learn from them. If you have a history of being a poor communicator through written language and have made no attempts to improve, you can only expect to get the same unuseful comments from others on here.

Again I am sorry, I don't mean to be disrespectful. I was thinking more, it's not disrepectful to brewers when we try to brew at home for the first time and have boil overs on the sink or suck back and ruin perfectly good wort or equipment. If I tried to build a table with this wood I would hope it's not disrespectful to carpenters, I don't mean it to be. Maybe it would fall the first time I sat on it. We have to learn and encourage each other through the mistakes that hold many of us back from even trying. If there are step-by-step instructions I'd be willing to give it a shot. Maybe 90% leaks out, well I have 10% good beer and then I learn where it went wrong and I try again. Again I'm not looking for perfection just want a simple barrel that can hold beer. Or if I was in the middle of doing black Smith and someone laughed at me, no I would keep banging away. Maybe I can't get it to work, but I want to try even if others say it should be hard. Sort of my personality but I understand nobody knows my personality here, I am still new.

Anyway, sorry for all the typing! Wow that took a while. Just wanted to be clear and let everyone know respecfully that I'm looking to start very simple with just a very amateur barrel, I will porobably be bad at it, I know. Or maybe!

 

[ismellweird]

If you’re serious, buy a barrel. It can be used multiple times if handled properly.
If you just feel like playing with wood, there’s plenty of easier ways to do that...

This is good feedback, unfoertunately I don't have the disposable cash right now. I would love to just be done with it and buy one.

 

[ancientmariner52]

Mell, I don't think it was the desire to build a barrel that got everybody fired up. For me, it was the crazy short time frame. Coopering is a skilled trade, most coopers, the few that there are, undergo a years-long apprenticeship. I'm a tool and die man myself. I'm not insulted by anyone's interest, unless they think they can learn my trade in a week or two.

 

[baldm79]

This is good feedback, unfoertunately I don't have the disposable cash right now. I would love to just be done with it and buy one.

I would guess that the bands for building a barrel and possible need for tools might cost as much as a barrel that’s been used.

 

[ismellweird]

Mell, I don't think it was the desire to build a barrel that got everybody fired up. For me, it was the crazy short time frame. Coopering is a skilled trade, most coopers, the few that there are, undergo a years-long apprenticeship. I'm a tool and die man myself. I'm not insulted by anyone's interest, unless they think they can learn my trade in a week or two.

I think this is the confusion. It takes years to master the trade I understand clearly but you're saying it's also not possible to build a barrel Friday afternoon correct? Even a very basic one. If this is true maybe I'll take the other user's input and I chip the floorboard up into a mulch consistency and soak with whiskey, etc and just put it in the fermenter and taste every few mornings. That's somethign fairly simple I can literally do right now.

Thank you.

mell

 

[Manufacturedevolution]

I don't think anyone would recommend this.

chip the floorboard up into a mulch consistency and soak with whiskey, etc and just put it in the fermenter and taste every few mornings

To each their own though.

 

[BeerChemistWhiskey]

I think this is the confusion. It takes years to master the trade I understand clearly but you're saying it's also not possible to build a barrel Friday afternoon correct? Even a very basic one. If this is true maybe I'll take the other user's input and I chip the floorboard up into a mulch consistency and soak with whiskey, etc and just put it in the fermenter and taste every few mornings. That's somethign fairly simple I can literally do right now.

Thank you.

mell

Are you absolutely sure that this wood hasn't been treated? As was said in earlier posts, wood used for outdoor structures is probably treated with some nasty chemicals that you don't want in something you are going to drink...

Best to get some nice wood sold for smoking meats or something you know is food safe. Use your reclaimed wood for a different project

 

[bleme]

Here's a more in depth video:

This is a great video with step-by-step instructions and using basic tools everyone has in there workshop. Even though it is for a bucket, I just used the steps for the bottom to make a lid and made a barrel this morning. Thanks for posting!

Barrel

• bleme
• Apr 24, 2018

 

[applescrap]

Is the wood used? Eww, years of people and outdoor use. How bout some wood chips

 

[ismellweird]

Is the wood used? Eww, years of people and outdoor use. How bout some wood chips

Hi, I sanded it

 

[cegan09]

Lol this thread.

Could you make your own wooden container to put beer into? Yes. Pick the right wood, spend the time to cut pieces accurately, build a box, use something like Tite-bond III glue with is FDA approved for indirect food contact and used in a lot of cutting boards. You would have a wooden vessel that would hold liquid, mostly. I'm sure the fact that it's not in a shape that squeezes itself tighter when the wood swells from moisture means that it will leak as the beer soaks through, but who cares, wooden beer box.

Could you do it from deck material? Sure. You can use any wood you want. But you shouldn't. Because decks are made from treated wood and that treating process uses chemicals that are harmful when ingested. Some types more than others. This process gets the chemicals throughout the wood, not just the outer surface. Then the issues of people walking around on it, animals crapping on it and the rain washing that in, and all kinds of other fun nature problems. But who cares, this is beer experimentation, screw the haters, risk that poison.

A+ thread OP. Very much enjoyed, will watch for future lols.

 

[baldm79]

I don't think anyone would recommend this.


To each their own though.

Agreed

 

[Br3w4u]

Is it stained? If so what color? Cherry stain makes great sour beer. Now walnut on the other hand is just garbage. It’s just too bad that you can’t get lead paint anymore. I’m sure you have tasted plenty of paint chips though right?

 

[ismellweird]

Thanks everyone I'm going with the simpler plan of just mulching the board(s) after sanding. Not treated with arsenic or anything, they're very very old boards very worm from age and weather, looks like drift wood. I looked up on this site and whiskey should steralize, etc. So I'll be trying this very soon. Thanks for the posters that helped me.

ps: Bitcoin and women's underwear under your posts now what are you trying to tell me??

take care

mell

 

[baldm79]

Good luck mell. I’ll make one final request though, please put a disclaimer on this beer if you share it.
Older wood is more likely to have treated with arsenic

 

[thekraken]

I'm having a hard time deciding if this guy's serious or not...?

 

[shoengine]

I'm having a hard time deciding if this guy's serious or not...?

Did you see the septic thread?

 

[Boomer]

I just can’t believe how every time he starts another one, seemingly intelligent folks are willing to engage in conversation as though he’s anything other than a troll.

 

[Br3w4u]

Did you see the septic thread?

Or any of his threads for that matter.

 

[Br3w4u]

I just can’t believe how every time he starts another one, seemingly intelligent folks are willing to engage in conversation as though he’s anything other than a troll.

I can’t believe how much fun his stupid troll threads are. Never fails!

 

[fizzix]

For when you have to have a barrel by 3pm, and your stomach pumped by 4.