Engagement Rings-how much did it set you back?

[Vermicous]

Starting Rant:

De beers can burn in hell. The company that is responsible for making a worthless hunk of carbon into one of the highest priced gemstones is also responsible for 100 years of murder and blackmail. "A Diamond is Forever" and "Two Month's Salary" are both ad campaigns designed to keep a secondary market down and prices up. At one time, this company was responsible for 80% of diamond mining and 95% of diamond sales. They fixed prices and kept supply low to create more demand. While not as controlling as before, they still control 40% of diamond mining and 50% of sales.

Your great-grandparents considered diamonds less valuable than glass for jewelry, I urge everyone to continue that tradition. Emeralds, rubies, and sapphires; anything but diamonds.

End Rant;

I worked for a jewelry wholesaler for a number of years and heard many stories and read some good books. If possible, find an independent jeweler. The price will probably be the same, but the piece will be copied less.

My wife didn't listen to my rant either, insisted on a diamond. But my company sold me the diamond at cost, a three thousand dollar ring for three hundred dollars.

 

[chillHayze]

Hey thats a really good idea..

is it wrong if I look on ebay?

Look? Yes. ...But I'd stay away from buying such an expensive ring on ebay. When it comes to shiny expensive things, pictures just don't cut it. Need to see the real thing to be sure it's right. You may luck out, but not something I'd leave to chance.

 

[Vermicous]

Some companies put overruns on ebay. It's not a bad way to go for price.

 

[chillHayze]

But my company sold me the diamond at cost, a three thousand dollar ring for three hundred dollars.

**Cringes at the gross markup**

If I paid a worker $2 a day and charged $3 a day for pickaxe rental then I, too, would be rich!!

 

[Alamo_Beer]

I was MOSTLY kidding about ebay...

Just read some of the reviews of an ebay jewlry seller. 98% were good but that 2% scares me

 

[chillHayze]

I was MOSTLY kidding about ebay...

Just read some of the reviews of an ebay jewlry seller. 98% were good but that 2% scares me

I have bought 2 rings on ebay, had good luck on both. They were both under $70. If you do decide to use ebay, have the seller send you more pictures, in different light, at different angles, on a finger. It sounds wierd, but if they are willing to do that then they deserve your business i suppose.

 

[dibby33]

I might have to post in the "Big Snip" thread about an unwanted vasectamy if I get a cubic zurconium

Yeup, let me know how that goes!

 

[Alamo_Beer]

So, just got home from work and talked to her for awhile. We looked online a bit and decided to go look at some stores this weekend.

*sigh looks like I won't be brewing A WHILE... I threw out my buckets bc I got mad at them and vowed not to brew until I got all of the AG equipment I need. About a month ago I got a raise and thought I'd be brewing in no time. Well, it'll probubly be this time next year when I do my next brew! I'll have to get some better bottles and just crank out apfelwein.

I brought up the idea of an engagement "something" for me....showed my girlfriend the B3-250 system (a steal at only $895) and she said "I don't have that kind of money!" Made me laugh bc the rings she likes are 2-3k

Thanks for all the help guys, really do apprechiate it.

 

[dibby33]

You need a slush fund. Every married man has one. Stick a few bucks away each week and slowly build it up. Then lie blatently about where you get the new brew equipment from. "There was this guy at work that knew somebody that..."

If the slush fund is discovered (cash, not bank accounts please) then you can just say that you were saving for a surprise but it is ruined now. Put the slushfund somewhere that she would not look. This may be difficult due to the nature of the other party active in the vicinity, so to speak!

I normally just use mine to buy beer and ingredients but one of my mates actually bought a boat with his! Cash in hand jobs, gotta love 'em

 

[Alamo_Beer]

You need a slush fund. Every married man has one. Stick a few bucks away each week and slowly build it up. Then lie blatently about where you get the new brew equipment from. "There was this guy at work that knew somebody that..."

If the slush fund is discovered (cash, not bank accounts please) then you can just say that you were saving for a surprise but it is ruined now. Put the slushfund somewhere that she would not look. This may be difficult due to the nature of the other party active in the vicinity, so to speak!

I normally just use mine to buy beer and ingredients but one of my mates actually bought a boat with his! Cash in hand jobs, gotta love 'em

Man, thats why I love this forum....I learn all the things my dad wouldn't tell me... There's no way in hell I'd ask my dad about engagement rings, and there's no way he'd ever teach me about slush funds...

Thanks dibby, It may only be $4 a week but I'll start mine today.

 

[phooka]

You need a slush fund. Every married man has one. Stick a few bucks away each week and slowly build it up. Then lie blatently about where you get the new brew equipment from. "There was this guy at work that knew somebody that..."

Bah.. I'm on #2 (Sooooo much better). We determined way up front to keep $ separate. Separate accounts, etc. We pool for bills but what's ours is ours and it stays what way. It creates one less MAJOR point of contention - I recommend it for everyone.

OnT: First marriage ring was < $500 (and that was too Fn much). Second was less than $2k from bluenile.com (no affiliations or interests). Yah, I'm a cheap ass.

It isn't that I don't have $. I just am really conflicted about buying what is effectively compressed dirt for ridiculous prices..


dale

 

[MriswitH]

I spent about $2100 on the ring. I had it custom made and total carat weight is about 1ct. Its a princess cut center stone, flanked by a smaller princess cut on each side and 2-baguettes on each side as well.

As others have stated, you don't need to cash in your retirement to pay for a ring. Make sure you shop around and go to stores that are outside of the average mall store. Make sure you do your homework and are up on stuff like clarity, clarity-enhanced, color, etc.

We have finally decided to just do a very basic wedding with the rents to save money so that we can spend the brunt of it on our honeymoon. (2-weeks in Europe/Ireland/England )

 

[megavites]

Like others have said, wait till you see the wedding bill.:cross:
When I did the deed, I had recently bought a 92 Ford Explorer and had
an 88 Mustang LX for sale. I let it go for $4000, and got
a great ring for $3500. Got engaged on a cruise.
Spent even more on the honeymoon, as she really wanted to go to Alaska.
So we did a pretty cool 10 day trip staying in some remote places.:rockin:

 

[Yuri_Rage]

I highly recommend doing what a few others have mentioned - find a setting you like, find a diamond for the right price, and pay a third party to put it all together.

I got the rock from this company through Air Force connections (click on the "Zoomie" link if you're a USAFA grad). It was a decent price for a VERY good quality diamond.

The setting was from Mondera. It was relatively inexpensive since there was no diamond in it.

I had a local jeweler put it together for around $100.

The ring below looks almost identical to hers. I paid around $4500 total, and she won't tell me what it appraised for out of embarrassment that she owns something that's potentially so valuable (apparently it approaches or exceeds 5 figures). She gets nothing but compliments on it whenever she's out with her girly friends.

 

[the_bird]

FWIW, Blue Nile included an appraisal that supposedly was an objective third party, valuing the wife's $3,000 ring at a bit north of $5,000. If you insist on doing it online, I can vouch for them; I'd buy from them again.

 

[Janx]

Lucked out...she had a family ring from her grandmother. Just had to get it re-set/sized for a few hundred. My band was a few hundred. Wedding was on the cheap too other than flying to and staying in Hawaii for two weeks.

Congrats and cheers

 

[EvilTOJ]

Me and SWMBO were so broke going out, wifey didn't even get an engagement ring until five years after we were married. Our wedding bands together cost us a total of $500.

I see the markups on jewelry all the time (I have access to their sales screens )and if it came to paying 1000% markup on a brand-new diamond, or buying one from a pawn shop, BUY AN ENGAGEMENT RING FROM A PAWN SHOP!!!!! It is the same gold, the same diamonds, and it costs 1/10th of what you pay in a jewelry store. Gold doesn't rot, Diamonds don't get dingy! Get her size, go get one she'll like from a pawn shop or even a jewelry pawn shop, get some of your BKF and toothpaste and polish that bad boy up. Don't listen to DeBeers, don't listen to the marketing saying you have to spend your life savings on a shiney. If she loves you for who you are and she's not a materialistic hobag she'll love the ring for how it looks, not what you paid for it!

One thing my wife and I both love about each other is when we get high end gifts, AND get a really good deal on it. I don't *think* she'd buy stolen goods, but if the price was right.....

OK I'm done ranting.

 

[EdWort]

Actually a beer tab from a collectors "Lone Star Beer Can" is the best thing for a ring!

The two months salary is such a scam. I spent $1,500 twenty-five years ago on SWMBO's ring, but then again, I was only 22 years old. Some folks may make fun of the size of the marquee diamond, but then again we've been married to each other for 23 years and it gets better every year. A big rock means nothing without the stability, commitment & integrity of the union of marriage.

(don't ask me about anniversary diamonds though)

 

[Llarian]

Read this:
http://www.un.org/peace/africa/Diamond.html
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Conflict_diamond

Watch Ice Road Truckers.

Repeat: If you a buy a diamond, the terrorists win or a trucker dies.

Is it really worth it?

Might work.

Unfortunatly, conflict free diamonds are a booming business these days and easy to find, so that's not a very good out anymore.

-D

[EDIT: Just to be clear, unfortunate for your pocketbook, I think its great they're available. I also think its great my girlfriend was a sapphire primary stone instead of a diamond. =) ]

 

[Lil' Sparky]

I think I only paid about $500 for her engagement ring. It was just a simple solitaire. That was in 1993 and I was 19 years old. Her wedding ring was much nicer and cost ~ $2.5K, but we got it at cost (Mom worked at a jewelry store) and she's very petite, so those gianormous rings look rediculous on her hand. We ended up getting the diamond from her engagement ring set as a pendant for a necklace since she would never wear it again otherwise.

Honestly I think spending a fortune and/or getting into a lot of dept over an engagement or wedding ring isn't worth it.

 

[landhoney]

$8K. Guess I'm the winner......I mean loser. Tiffany's is expensive, you're definitley paying for the name/style. She liked the style and I pulled the trigger, a recent investment in a chinese internet company and good timing(it doubled+) helped alot. At $8K it was near the bottom of the available rings in this style they showed me pricewise. the_bird is right though, bluenile.com is a great company a couple of my friends have used, you're getting a lot more rock for your money than at tiff's.

 

[Nurmey]

First, congratulations on finding a nice woman!

Next, have to asked her what she wants? I might be odd but wearing a big rock has no appeal for me whatsoever and I had absolutely no interest in a diamond even though it's my birthstone. We did find a lovely saphire ring that I could wear without getting in my way. We spent under $500 on it which made me very happy because I had a beautiful engagement ring without breaking the bank.

Now, if she has her heart set on a diamond ring, let her pick it out. Things like snagging her panty hose/clothing every day or darn near having her finger ripped off when it catches on things during activities could be very important to the her.

Just wanted to give you 2 cents from a female prospective. (Granted, it's only worth about 2 cents because I am not much of traditionist about anything including jewelry.)

 

[Ryan_PA]

Quick disclaimer, my wife never asks for anything, and deserves everything, and at the time we got engaged, I had a decent income and no real bills to speak of.

I went overboard on the ring, and obliterated the 2 months salary rule. Remember, the size of the rock and the price tag at the end do nothing to measure your commitment or level of love. Due to the luck of my situation I was able to buy the ring of her dreams, but it came at a cost of over $12K. It currently appraises for more than double, and is the nicest thing I have ever seen. It is too much for anyone, but the closest thing I could do to get her what I felt she deserved.

Some advise, take her shopping and tell her you are thinking about things, and take note of the settings that she spends the most time looking at, but do not be obvious. When you know the setting, pick a stone you are comfortable with to compliment it. Never pay the marked price, and if you can pay in cash... do it! Also, be sure you talk to her dad. It is old school, but gets you mad bonus points. I did it prior to actually buying the ring, but make sure you do it before asking her.

Also, my brother got the warantee or whatever in case he had to return it, that was a good move for him. I would say look into that if it is offered. You never know.

 

[eriktlupus]

also look at bidz.com just don't bid against me!

 

[kenche]

Well these pictures were taken last Saturday, on top of First Brother Mountain in British Columbia where my fiance and I were engaged.

The ring in the picture is a custom design that we commisioned a local jeweller to create. The diamond was purchased from Blue Nile. I was very happy with blue nile, and the diamond was about 40% cheaper than a similar rated diamond as quoted by the jeweller.

The total cost of the ring was 5k.

 

[pjj2ba]

Thankfully my wife is not a fan of Diamonds. We got engaged while we were both in grad school so money was tight. The ring was more to prove to her dad that we were engaged. I bought her a Sapphire ring from J.C Penney for about $80 (in 1988)

 

[Alamo_Beer]

Thanks for the tips and pics guys....this is seriously some good help.

We're going this weekend to look at rings/diamonds. And yes, she is set on a diamond.

We like the settings with side stones (yeah I said we, of all the ones i've seen I think they're the nicest) so that is pretty much covered.

I guess it really comes down to the diamond. Thanks Yuri for that site, I looked at a for a bit last night but didnt' have much time.

Seriously, I really do apprechiate all of the help

 

[subourbonite]

Got engaged fresh out of college and spent ~$2500 on a ring. Looks like that puts me in the low end of the spectrum based on some of the responses I've read, but hey, you buy what you can afford.

Do not ever let a jeweler pull the whole "the more you spend, the more you love her" crap. Spend what you can afford. There is no sense starting out your married life in debt just to purchase a sparkly rock.

 

[Alamo_Beer]

Just out of pure curiosity I looked up cubic zurconium.....

HOLY CRAP what a difference! I could get her a 10 carat badass ring instead of the MAYBE .75 real diamond...

just food for thought

Oh, and congrads to everyone else who is recently engaged/married. And nice pics Kenche...looks like a lot of fun

 

[user 574]

C - below I think. An upgrade after 25 years. As for $, lets just say I wouldn't spend that much if it was year zero of the marriage. Platinum is friggen pricey

 

[TheJadedDog]

Here are a few of my thoughts on this topic as it was something I agonized over before I proposed to my wife:

1) avoid cubic z unless you have asked her about it and know she would be okay with it (they know dude, trust me they know)

2) all diamonds sold legally in this county come from the same place, DeBeers, so the only difference between the ones at Tiffany's and the ones at Zales are the settings and that Tiffany's does not carry the lower quality stones.

3) It's all about the setting, the right setting can make a 1c diamond look plenty big (I got my wife a .75 stone in a full bezel set and it looks as big as a 1.5c)

4) There is no need to break the bank, come up with a budget and then see what you can afford (just like buying a car or a house).

5) make sure you get the proper paperwork on the stone as that is the only way to get it insured.

6) if you can't see the imperfections, what bloody difference does it make if they are there, find the right trade off between price, size, and stone quality.

7) in 10 years you will have more money and can either get a whole new stone or a new ring that incorporates the stone you buy today but adds something more as a 10 year anniversary gift

Anyway, those are my thoughts. Good Luck!

 

[talleymonster]

Two Words:

Cubic Zirconium =)

 

[Flyin' Lion]

6) if you can't see the imperfections, what bloody difference does it make if they are there, find the right trade off between price, size, and stone quality.

7) in 10 years you will have more money and can either get a whole new stone or a new ring that incorporates the stone you buy today but adds something more as a 10 year anniversary gift

I agree, in fact that is what we did. Buying a ring with small imperceptible imperfections allows you to get a bigger diamond.

Plus if you buy small you can always go bigger later.

I bought my wife's first ring for 2k (5/8 carat) and upgraded to a full carat after 5 years of marriage. The new ring is 5k but only cost us 3k due to the trade in of the old ring. For what its worth, my wife really liked her older, smaller ring better.

If she loves you, she'll like what you buy.

 

[brewt00l]

BUY AN ENGAGEMENT RING FROM A PAWN SHOP!!!!! It is the same gold, the same diamonds, and it costs 1/10th of what you pay in a jewelry store.

Course a lot of women just don't want a ring from a pawn. Here is what a friend of a friend just did:

He found a ring at a pawn that he really liked and knew his girlfriend would like too at a fantastically good price. He is planning on proposing to her in a year or so if things keep going good. He gave the ring to his mother with the deal that when he get's engaged, he is going to give his gf his "mom's" ring and not a pawn shop ring.

Btw, I give him points for a creative plan but deduct on ethical grounds.

 

[Yooper]

I picked out my own ring- and I'm glad I did. I LOVE my ring and it's what I wanted. We went together, of course, but he was clueless. I wanted something that I'd be able to wear all the time- snorkeling in the Bahamas, walleye fishing in Canada, walking through some "iffy" neighborhoods in bigger cities, showering, etc. It's not a very big diamond, but it's a beautiful ring. When we were looking, I knew I was picking out something that I was going to wear for at least 30-40 years (God willing!).

I had a cousin who was surprised with a ring and it's gorgeous- big rock in a custom made setting. But she takes it off for household chores, to go to the beach, to care for her kids, etc. I knew that I wanted an "everyday" type ring.

By the way, I also found it on sale for 30% off the regular price, and it was less than 2K total.

 

[Jim Karr]

I bought my fiance a 27-point heart shaped diamond with a matching wedding band that fit right up next to the engagement ring.

This was 1982.....I spent $750 and my wife of almost 24 years now loved it, because of some of the same reasons Yooper mentioned.

She never takes it off, and it's not so monstrously large that she's afraid to wear it in public.

She just LOVED the fact that it is heart-shaped.

 

[Brewnurse]

Just had my first year anniversary two weeks ago, I can still remember all the expenses and steps you are going to go thru. For the ring, I spent a little over 10K. I happened to get her the exact ring she wanted, without knowing what she wanted. But that was only a drop in the bucket compared to the wedding!

Either way, enjoy! This is what life is supposed to be like!

 

[Ol' Grog]

Find an Asian area in the city, or like a little Vietnam. They have excellent quality stones and great prices. You can bargan with them too.

 

[Alamo_Beer]

Find an Asian area in the city, or like a little Vietnam. They have excellent quality stones and great prices. You can bargan with them too.

Haha, thats how I got her first ring...in NYC. I made the mistake of trying to get a $5 ring for $3....she still ribbs me about that everyonce in a while but just jokingly.

Plus in South Texas there aren't many asian areas!

Thanks again for all the tips, we're going this weekend to go look at rings to get her size and what looks good on her and all of that.

I think your idea of an "everyday ring" is a good idea Yooper, I'll keep that in mind.

 

[Proofman]

When I proposed I had 100 bucks to my name (I was a poor grad student). Thankfully, my wife is not a flashy gal. She does not like huge diamonds. I proposed to her without a ring. The benefit was she got to choose her ring. She searched quite a bit and got something simple (I forget size stone). I gave her a price that I could afford. She took it and ran. I didn&#8217;t have the money at the time. I was expecting relatively large check ($1600 HAHAHAHA). She was shopping with one of her friends and her friend asked how much she could spend. When my wife told her she said, &#8220;we might as well go to Wal-mart.&#8221; That *****! She got a ring and I had money left over. The funny thing was she found the ring before I had the check, so she had to buy it herself HAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!! Then I paid her. I was poor. The first year we dated she paid for most everything. Thank goodness my wife is very practical. If I bought her a 8-10K ring now she would thank me wear it for a day or two then it would go into a safety deposit box.

Every woman&#8217;s different