shafferpilot
Well-Known Member
No complaints, cause I aced the BS testing procedure. just wanted to brag a bit. Reality is that I was probably close to the .08 limit. I pulled up to the checkpoint and rolled down the window after telling SWMBO "just follow my lead and if they take me out of the car DON'T tell them ANYTHING about what we did tonight!!! Just say, you'll have to ask him, or I don't know." Well the patrolman asked me if I'd had anything to drink. I said, "Sure, I had 3 beers with dinner about 3 1/2 hours ago. We went to a movie afterwards, Sweeny Todd. It was awesome."(BTW it was a walk to the theatre from the restraunt) He says, "How 'bout you" and motions to SWMBO. She says, "I had two with dinner". I have no doubt he smelled beer, so I wasn't about to say, "no". "Can you please step out of the car and follow me? This officer will drive your car over there," he says. "Sure, no problem" I say. I know how to deal with these guys, I've got plenty of experience(don't ask). So through a swampy, muddy ravine and over two tall curbs we go, into a parking lot. I'm steady as a rock, and I know this guy is already convinced that I'm good. 'Time to sweeten the deal' I'm thinking to myself. "I'm not gonna lie, this is pretty cool; I've never seen one of these checkpoints before. Ha ha." Oh yeah, I got him eating out of my palm. We have to stand there and wait for the poor drunk sap in front of me. He's clearly wasted and currently blowing the little plastic dildo.... er, breathalyzer for all he's worth. They lead the guy away and have to change video tapes before it's my turn. Obviously, that guy is going to have a REALLY long night! Officer 'Time Waster' makes me do the whole 'follow the pen' thing for like a solid minute. My eyes were starting to sting from the cold air, but I'm keeping my cool. "Alright, you can go. Have a safe night." He tells me, clearly a little dissapointed that I wasn't drunk like he thought. I shake his hand and say, "Make sure you nab all those drunkies tonite!" I'm sure he didn't notice the sarcasm that was spinning in my head Don't get me wrong, I'm not advocating drunk driving by any means, but the standards that have been outlined by our government are rediculous and subjective to the -enth degree! So I get back in the car and SWMBO is bouncing off the walls nervous! In the coolest, John Travolta voice I tell her, "Chill baby, no big deal." And we head home. Now I'm high as a kite for how well I delt with all this. Not that I think I fooled anyone, because I really wasn't drunk at all. Honestly, if he had asked me to blow, I'm quite sure I'd have been under the limit. The high is really coming from how 'in control' of myself I was. Ten years ago, I'd have been quoting civil rights cases to the guy, and begging for trouble. Now I can just chuckle at the whole thing, and PLAY THE GAME.... I guess that's what growing up is.