Deep Drunken Thoughts

[noggins]

ew

 

[GilaMinumBeer]

ew

It's okay. She's married. No-one else need suffer.

 

[gratus fermentatio]

Why is it acceptable for breast cancer research organizations to have the slogan "Save The ****ies," but it's not acceptable for a prostate cancer research organization to have the slogan "Save The Dicks"?

 

[DrunkleJon]

Why is it acceptable for breast cancer research organizations to have the slogan "Save The ****ies," but it's not acceptable for a prostate cancer research organization to have the slogan "Save The Dicks"?

My guess is that everyone loves a pair of chesticles. Not everyone loves wang. Plus they have a far better marketing department.

 

[edues]

Forgetting is way to keep yourself sane. Just remember the basics and your good.

 

[drainbamage]

Why is it acceptable for breast cancer research organizations to have the slogan "Save The ****ies," but it's not acceptable for a prostate cancer research organization to have the slogan "Save The Dicks"?

I would say it has something to do with exploiting a cause to make money vs. actually raising research funds, but that's a rant I don't really feel like getting into this early in the morning.

 

[slym2none]

I look forward to the future generations of grandmas with winged eyeliner, faded tattoos, and pastel haircolors.

 

[Beernik]

Wife: the piñata is too heavy. It ripped off its string. What do we do?

Me: line all the kids up on the street. Throw it at them like a grenade.

 

[smurfjuice]

I look forward to the future generations of grandmas with winged eyeliner, faded tattoos, and pastel haircolors.

Why ??

 

[Resonator]

Why ??

Because it will be funny to see

 

[littletommy]

Not so much a thought, more an observation post drunkeness...
I found some CDs of me and my old band, we used to get together and jam at my old haunted shotgun house...I haven't heard our songs in at least 10 years, and had totally forgotten most of the songs on the CDs, some, I don't even remember ever playing or singing, or what the hell the subject matter of the song was about. Anyway, I noticed on the songs where my vocals were obviously heavily influenced by alcohol, and I mean, pretty much unintelligible, my guitar playing was really good and on point, whereas, if I could understand my lyrics, and I wasn't incoherent sounding, my guitar playing was not so good.

Damn, those were fun times!

 

[Billy-Klubb]

Wife: the piñata is too heavy. It ripped off its string. What do we do?

Me: line all the kids up on the street. Throw it at them like a grenade.

get some! get some! yeah! yeah! get some! anyone who runs is a sissy. anyone who stands still is a well disciplined sissy.

you ever fill the pinata chocolate pudding?

sometimes.

how can you fill the pinata with chocolate pudding?

easy, you ain't gotta throw it so hard. ain't birthdays hell?

 

[GuldTuborg]

What if we could all keep little pet Lovejoy Comets at home. Wouldn't that be grand?

 

[Beernik]

get some! get some! yeah! yeah! get some! anyone who runs is a sissy. anyone who stands still is a well disciplined sissy.

you ever fill the pinata chocolate pudding?

sometimes.

how can you fill the pinata with chocolate pudding?

easy, you ain't gotta throw it so hard. ain't birthdays hell?

Better: Fill mini ballons with red Karo syrup and put them in the piñata with the candy.

First kid breaks through it: simulated arterial blood spray.

 

[gratus fermentatio]

Do you think someday (hopefully soon) women will realize that rings in the nose are for pigs, water buffalo & other domesticated animals?

 

[DrunkleJon]

Well, you have to keep them in the kitchen where they belong somehow.

(This is a joke, I am not that much of a chauvinist)

 

[slym2none]

Do you think someday (hopefully soon) women will realize that rings in the nose are for pigs, water buffalo & other domesticated animals?

I guess guys with those kinds of nose-rings are already pigs?

 

[GuldTuborg]

I guess guys with those kinds of nose-rings are already pigs?

Some manner of pseudo-domesticated animal, anyway.

 

[Beernik]

Why the hell did I pack my bed if I'm not driving the moving truck tonight?

 

[drainbamage]

No thanks, Charlie. If HIV is what I win, I'll stick with being a loser. ipe:

 

[gratus fermentatio]

Who's mouth is bigger: Steven Tyler or Carly Simon?

 

[drainbamage]

When I die, I'm going to request a closed-casket service with a stereo playing "Pop Goes the Weasel" on loop, just to make everyone nervous. ipe:

 

[DrunkleJon]

When I die, I'm going to request a closed-casket service with a stereo playing "Pop Goes the Weasel" on loop, just to make everyone nervous. ipe:

Just make sure all but the "pop goes the weasel" part plays. That way they are just waiting for it.

 

[gratus fermentatio]

When I die, I'm going to request a closed-casket service with a stereo playing "Pop Goes the Weasel" on loop, just to make everyone nervous. ipe:

Maybe a recording of someone pounding on a door & saying (muffled) "let me out!"
Regards, GF.

 

[24ChainsDG]

Billy-Klubb, @-gEEk- @100CPU @24ChainsDG @2brew559 @2Kegger @30_Ounce @6470zzy @67cougargt @aamcle @abraham67 @AceVeres @actionjackson905 @adamgalt @aeviaanah @afro_lou @alaktheman @alaskantuff @Alchemy @Anderson_NJ @AndytheBeave @andy_apcs @anticrapple @arcaniment @arnobg @artemis @arturo7 @aStoutObserver @atouk @aw6243 @awebber @awsmith4 @AZ_IPA @B1ackDog @ballsy @banksjh @bannerj @Barr @Bauer @bball3414 @bcltoys @Bearded_Dog @BeatnikTom @beergolf @BeerMeDuffMan @Beernik @beerwiffle @bembel @benda86 @benji1944 @BenS @Bgrady34 @BHowe @bigduds @bigox420 @BigPerm @billsteiner26 @bishopbrew @blackfin @BLANK1911 @bmahler @bmenzia



why would I do this? the world may never know.

I think we have all been there from time to time. I guess it's better then dialing an ex late night and sobbing into the phone.

 

[gratus fermentatio]

Your bed is just a shelf for storing your body while you sleep.
Technically, every time you look for something, when you find it, it really is in the last place you look.
Does anybody actually use soap on a rope?
Why do we call pants a "pair" when there's only one?
If 1 fish is called "fish," why are many fish also called "fish?"

 

[slym2none]

Technically, every time you look for something, when you find it, it really is in the last place you look.

But it probably isn't the last possible place you could look.

 

[drainbamage]

Your bed is just a shelf for storing your body while you sleep.

Also, the floor is the largest shelf in your home.

 

[harleybug88]

Also, the floor is the largest shelf in your home.

Also, You can't have a cupboard
if there ain't no wall

 

[Billy-Klubb]

Also, You can't have a cupboard
if there ain't no wall

what used to be called a cupboard is now called a shelf. toilet paper is now called bathroom tissue. I'm no longer a welder, I'm a metal fusion engineer!