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m00ps

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Today a young man on acid realized that all matter is merely energy condensed to a slow vibration. That we are all one consciousness experiencing itself subjectively. There is no such thing as death, life is only a dream, and we are the imagination of ourselves. Here's Tom with the weather.
 

hunter_le five

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Today a young man on acid realized that all matter is merely energy condensed to a slow vibration. That we are all one consciousness experiencing itself subjectively. There is no such thing as death, life is only a dream, and we are the imagination of ourselves. Here's Tom with the weather.
[ame]https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7zV78IgXzB0[/ame]
 

joshesmusica

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I always wonder if the following usernames are taken:

ss

sswipe

sshat

sshole


I just know I'm tagging someone each time I use those in a sentence.
 

Rhetorik

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Wolverine should be donating his organs over and over and over again.
 

Billy-Klubb

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I can't think of any other place to put this except for TR. but I don't want @Randar asking me to the movies later.

when I go to the theater, I like to tap the person in the seat in front of me and crack off an air biscuit on their heads as they're turning to look at me. I get beat up a lot, but comedy comes with a price.
 

gratus fermentatio

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What horrible, unseen force is it that causes the "getting ready for work time-warp?" I can be sitting there, putting on my shoes & socks and when I'm done, 10 minutes have gone by...
How the hell does that happen? It doesn't take 10 mins to put on shoes & socks.
Regards, GF.
 

Rockn_M

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What horrible, unseen force is it that causes the "getting ready for work time-warp?" I can be sitting there, putting on my shoes & socks and when I'm done, 10 minutes have gone by...
How the hell does that happen? It doesn't take 10 mins to put on shoes & socks.
Regards, GF.

That happens to me all the time and j never could figure it out until my wife started waking up at the same time as me. She started laughing on morning because I was apparently staring off into space talking to myself. Mystery solved!
 

Kent88

Sometimes I have to remind myself
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The last couple times my wife made hardboiled eggs I've had to fight the urge to slip an uncooked egg in during the last moments of the boil while she isn't paying attention. The only thing that keeps me from doing it is that I eat most of them. I got the idea from my father-in-law.
 

drainbamage

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Sing like no one is listening.

Dance like no one is watching.

Fart like you aren't in fact standing in a crowded elevator.
 

slym2none

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I like to fart, noticeably, in the elevator, then look at whomever is to my right and loudly cry "What did you do???"
 

Beernik

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Vancouver Island looks like a butt plug for the United States. It's like Canada is saying to us, "Stay in there you turds."

BTW, bar is playing a David Bowie / Genesis mix tape. Finally acceptable music. But I think this town is stuck in the 80s.
 

Firewalker11

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No freaking work today so I guess I have to dry run the new system... The hell I live in! :D
 

littletommy

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Last night I noticed our Border Collie had 3 of her chew toys laid out in a triangle shape on the living room floor, this morning, I made my coffee in the Keurig, went to take a wizz, kinda forgot about the coffee for about 10 minutes, and when I remembered it, it was gone! The cup was not in the coffee machine, but sitting in the sink, empty. I did NOT remove the cup from the Keurig, or drink it. My wife and son say they didn't touch it.......I think my dog has opened some sort of portal to another dimension, and now I'm afraid to move the chew toys!

I could make a lot of money with this dog if there's something to this!!!!
 

harleybug88

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Last night I noticed our Border Collie had 3 of her chew toys laid out in a triangle shape on the living room floor, this morning, I made my coffee in the Keurig, went to take a wizz, kinda forgot about the coffee for about 10 minutes, and when I remembered it, it was gone! The cup was not in the coffee machine, but sitting in the sink, empty. I did NOT remove the cup from the Keurig, or drink it. My wife and son say they didn't touch it.......I think my dog has opened some sort of portal to another dimension, and now I'm afraid to move the chew toys!

I could make a lot of money with this dog if there's something to this!!!!
Is this your pet dog, or are you in the Twilight Zone?

thDZQFENG1.jpg


th4GKCQ6CR.jpg
 

Dland

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The more I learn, the less I know..

To give one example, if one were to listen to, and even start to comprehend, what current thinking in astronomy, particle physics, space/time, gravity and dimensions.. ...

Anyway, for better or worse I still appear to be in the same 3+1 dimensional constraints as the rest of you probably are..

Have a good evening, and don't go out driving tonight....
 

bracconiere

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Thinking about my brilliant idea, to weigh my co2 tank at max pressure while burst carbing so i can carb by weight.......maybe a little overly proud of myself, this is on the radio....



edit: you know all my deep drunken thoughts are a bit funky!! :mug:
 

bracconiere

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I'm kinda buzzed, had a thought of a thread i wanted to post in, but thought of this one....completly forgot what i was going to say...

and then in my drunken stupor wondered, is this a train going off the rails, or a demolition derby?
 

day_trippr

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Not sure you drunks are gonna make it through this - or appreciate it ;)

An Oxford comma walks into a bar, where it spends the evening watching the television, getting drunk, and smoking cigars.
• A dangling participle walks into a bar. Enjoying a cocktail and chatting with the bartender, the evening passes pleasantly.
• A bar was walked into by the passive voice.
• An oxymoron walked into a bar, and the silence was deafening.
• Two quotation marks walk into a “bar.”
• A malapropism walks into a bar, looking for all intensive purposes like a wolf in cheap clothing, muttering epitaphs and casting dispersions on his magnificent other, who takes him for granite.
• Hyperbole totally rips into this insane bar and absolutely destroys everything.
• A question mark walks into a bar?
• A non sequitur walks into a bar. In a strong wind, even turkeys can fly.
• Papyrus and Comic Sans walk into a bar. The bartender says, "Get out -- we don't serve your type."
• A mixed metaphor walks into a bar, seeing the handwriting on the wall but hoping to nip it in the bud.
• A comma splice walks into a bar, it has a drink and then leaves.
• Three intransitive verbs walk into a bar. They sit. They converse. They depart.
• A synonym strolls into a tavern.
• At the end of the day, a cliché walks into a bar -- fresh as a daisy, cute as a button, and sharp as a tack.
• A run-on sentence walks into a bar it starts flirting. With a cute little sentence fragment.
• Falling slowly, softly falling, the chiasmus collapses to the bar floor.
• A figure of speech literally walks into a bar and ends up getting figuratively hammered.
• An allusion walks into a bar, despite the fact that alcohol is its Achilles heel.
• The subjunctive would have walked into a bar, had it only known.
• A misplaced modifier walks into a bar owned by a man with a glass eye named Ralph.
• The past, present, and future walked into a bar. It was tense.
• A dyslexic walks into a bra.
• A verb walks into a bar, sees a beautiful noun, and suggests they conjugate. The noun declines.
• A simile walks into a bar, as parched as a desert.
• A gerund and an infinitive walk into a bar, drinking to forget.
• A hyphenated word and a non-hyphenated word walk into a bar and the bartender nearly chokes on the irony
- Jill Thomas Doyle

Cheers!
 

day_trippr

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50 years ago, Americans walked on the moon.
Today, we can't even get into Canada :D
 

bracconiere

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If fly spend most of their time on the windows inside the house, presumably because they want OUT.....why is it they never leave, and just come in?
 

Dland

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Maybe 'cause they hatched in your house? {;
 

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