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littletommy

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Not so much a thought, more an observation post drunkeness...
I found some CDs of me and my old band, we used to get together and jam at my old haunted shotgun house...I haven't heard our songs in at least 10 years, and had totally forgotten most of the songs on the CDs, some, I don't even remember ever playing or singing, or what the hell the subject matter of the song was about. Anyway, I noticed on the songs where my vocals were obviously heavily influenced by alcohol, and I mean, pretty much unintelligible, my guitar playing was really good and on point, whereas, if I could understand my lyrics, and I wasn't incoherent sounding, my guitar playing was not so good.

Damn, those were fun times!
 

Billy-Klubb

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Wife: the piñata is too heavy. It ripped off its string. What do we do?

Me: line all the kids up on the street. Throw it at them like a grenade.
get some! get some! yeah! yeah! get some! anyone who runs is a sissy. anyone who stands still is a well disciplined sissy.

you ever fill the pinata chocolate pudding?

sometimes.

how can you fill the pinata with chocolate pudding?

easy, you ain't gotta throw it so hard. ain't birthdays hell?
 

Beernik

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get some! get some! yeah! yeah! get some! anyone who runs is a sissy. anyone who stands still is a well disciplined sissy.

you ever fill the pinata chocolate pudding?

sometimes.

how can you fill the pinata with chocolate pudding?

easy, you ain't gotta throw it so hard. ain't birthdays hell?
Better: Fill mini ballons with red Karo syrup and put them in the piñata with the candy.

First kid breaks through it: simulated arterial blood spray.
 

gratus fermentatio

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Do you think someday (hopefully soon) women will realize that rings in the nose are for pigs, water buffalo & other domesticated animals?

pig.jpg


buff.JPG
 
OP
DrunkleJon

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Objects in mirror are closer than they appear
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Well, you have to keep them in the kitchen where they belong somehow.

(This is a joke, I am not that much of a chauvinist)
 

24ChainsDG

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why would I do this? the world may never know.
I think we have all been there from time to time. I guess it's better then dialing an ex late night and sobbing into the phone.
 

gratus fermentatio

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Your bed is just a shelf for storing your body while you sleep.
Technically, every time you look for something, when you find it, it really is in the last place you look.
Does anybody actually use soap on a rope?
Why do we call pants a "pair" when there's only one?
If 1 fish is called "fish," why are many fish also called "fish?"
 

slym2none

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what used to be called a cupboard is now called a shelf. toilet paper is now called bathroom tissue. I'm no longer a welder, I'm a metal fusion engineer!
Doctors are now "primary care physicians" and the doctor's office is now "the wellness center".

Except when I talk, that is. I go to the dr.s' office to see a doctor.
 

vanishingpint

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As I grow older I ponder my own death more and more.I hope to die peacefully in my sleep like my grandfather ;not screaming and crying like his back seat passengers.
 

m00ps

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I only get up each day for the few hours I get to play fallout 4
 

vanishingpint

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Speaking of my grandfather , his last words to me are etched into my brain like into stone. He said " Always..no wait. It was never .No it was "A wet bird never flies at night. They were his last words to me because they took him away that night. He died six years later. I still miss him.
 

Billy-Klubb

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Speaking of my grandfather , his last words to me are etched into my brain like into stone. He said " Always..no wait. It was never .No it was "A wet bird never flies at night. They were his last words to me because they took him away that night. He died six years later. I still miss him.
have you been listening to Steve Martin?
 

gratus fermentatio

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Why does time seem to flow so much faster when I'm getting ready for work, especially when I'm putting on my shoes & socks? It doesn't take 10 minutes to put on shoes & socks.
Regards, GF.
 

drainbamage

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Why does time seem to flow so much faster when I'm getting ready for work, especially when I'm putting on my shoes & socks? It doesn't take 10 minutes to put on shoes & socks.
Regards, GF.
On a related note, the perceived length of a work week is inversely proportional to its actual length (ie. a 3-day work week apparently seems to take approximately 1 month to go by).
 

Psylocide

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On a related note, the perceived length of a work week is inversely proportional to its actual length (ie. a 3-day work week apparently seems to take approximately 1 month to go by).
I know we've only known each other four weeks and three days, but to me it seems like nine weeks and five days. The first day seemed like a week and the second day seemed like five days and the third day seemed like a week again and the fourth day seemed like eight days and the fifth day you went to see your mother and that seemed just like a day and then you came back and later on the sixth day, in then evening, when we saw each other, that started seeming like two days, so in the evening it seemed like two days spilling over into the next day and that started seeming like four days, so at the end of the sixth day on into the seventh day, it seemed like a total of five days. And the sixth day seemed like a week and a half. I have it written down, but I can show it to you tomorrow if you want to see it.
 

drainbamage

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I know we've only known each other four weeks and three days, but to me it seems like nine weeks and five days. The first day seemed like a week and the second day seemed like five days and the third day seemed like a week again and the fourth day seemed like eight days and the fifth day you went to see your mother and that seemed just like a day and then you came back and later on the sixth day, in then evening, when we saw each other, that started seeming like two days, so in the evening it seemed like two days spilling over into the next day and that started seeming like four days, so at the end of the sixth day on into the seventh day, it seemed like a total of five days. And the sixth day seemed like a week and a half. I have it written down, but I can show it to you tomorrow if you want to see it.
You win at deep drunken thoughts. High five, bro. :goat:
 

JonyMac

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Like, what if everything in life was a movie and the witness parts of us were just watching everything on the screen seeing it all happen - like if we were at a movie - did the actors really kill each other? Or was it all pretend and nothing actually happened, but we thought it did, and got caught in it? What if we then realize that we are sitting in the audience and know that the movie isn't real and the audience isn't real and that there is only really one of us and we are pretending to be many of us - and then we realize that we are both at the same time and we are no longer caught in the movie playing a part? Are we free?
 
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