Declaration 3/30 : Misquote Ben Franklin Day

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I conceive that the great part of the miseries of mankind are brought upon them by false estimates they have made of watching the airlock. - Benjamin "bottle bomb" Franklin
 
"Early to bed and late to rise, usually means there was too much imbibed." Ben Franklin
 
"The only thing we have to beer, is beer itself." Ben

"Ask not what the beer can do for you, but what you can do for your beer." Ben
 
"i'm mother f**king Benjamin Franklin" Benjamin Franklin
 
"She Who Must Be Honored....NO WAIT....She Who Must Be Listened To... NO... ARRRGGGHH... I'M SO CLOSE" - Benjamin Franklin
 
All beer is divided into three classes: those that are drinkable, those that are undrinkable, and those that are drank regardless. ~Ben Franklin
 
"All men's souls are immortal, but the soul of the beer drinker is immortal and divine." - Ben Franklin
 
A well regulated militia, being necessary to the security of a free state, the right of the people to brew and drink beer shall not be infringed. BF
 
A well regulated militia, being necessary to the security of a free state, the right of the people to brew and drink beer shall not be infringed. BF
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Shouldn't that be a well inebriated militia?
 
"Though the pen is mightier than the sword, it is beer that makes us speak louder and stronger at any given moment" - Ben
 
"Hey pretty Lady - give me a Cask Ale and a diablo sandwich - and make it snappy. I'm in a got-danged hurry!" - Benjamin "Smokey" Franklin
 
"George, we get it, you don't like the Brits. It's Saturday though, RDWHAHB." - Ben Franklin

"Sam you can't name it after yourself that's just silly. It tastes like a Britishman's piss anyway, hey maybe you could call it that." - Ben Franklin
 
"No I don't think we need to put homebrewing in the Bill of Rights. Any sorry SOB who tries to prevent people from making their own beer will surely be driven into the hills with fire, pitchfork, and obscenities directed at his mother." - Benjamin Franklin
 
"We hold these truths to be self-evident; that all macro breweries are created equal; and the rest have to fend to the 2% of the market share not taken by BMC." ~ Ben Franklin
 
You can't be a real country unless you have a beer and an airline. It helps if you have some kind of a football team, or some nuclear weapons, but at the very least you need a beer. Benjamin Frank Zappa
 
"4 batches and 7 kegs ago, in the land of our forebrewers....."

"Beer at last, beer at last, thank god almighty we have beer at last!"

-- Benjamin "Happy Hour" Franklin

there has to be something in here about knickers and bocks....
 
Saw this via: http://mentalflossr.tumblr.com/post/2805578190/ben-franklins-200-synonyms-for-drunk


Ben Franklin’s 200+ Synonyms for “Drunk”

Ben Franklin turned 305 today! To celebrate, here’s a list of expressions meaning “inebriated” that Franklin first published in the Pennsylvania Gazette on January 6, 1737.

The Drinkers Dictionary

A
He is Addled,
He’s casting up his Accounts,
He’s Afflicted,
He’s in his Airs.

B
He’s Biggy,
Bewitch’d,
Block and Block,
Boozy,
Bowz’d,
Been at Barbadoes,
Piss’d in the Brook,
Drunk as a Wheel-Barrow,
Burdock’d,
Buskey,
Buzzey,
Has Stole a Manchet out of the Brewer’s Basket,
His Head is full of Bees,
Has been in the Bibbing Plot,
Has drank more than he has bled,
He’s Bungey,
As Drunk as a Beggar,
He sees the Bears,
He’s kiss’d black Betty,
He’s had a Thump over the Head with Sampson’s Jawbone,
He’s Bridgey.

C
He’s Cat,
Cagrin’d,
Capable,
Cramp’d,
Cherubimical,
Cherry Merry,
Wamble Crop’d,
Crack’d,
Concern’d,
Half Way to Concord,
Has taken a Chirriping-Glass,
Got Corns in his Head,
A Cup to much,
Coguy,
Copey,
He’s heat his Copper,
He’s Crocus,
Catch’d,
He cuts his Capers,
He’s been in the Cellar,
He’s in his Cups,
Non Compos,
Cock’d,
Curv’d,
Cut,
Chipper,
Chickery,
Loaded his Cart,
He’s been too free with the Creature,
Sir Richard has taken off his Considering Cap,
He’s Chap-fallen,

D
He’s Disguiz’d,
He’s got a Dish,
Kill’d his Dog,
Took his Drops,
It is a Dark Day with him,
He’s a Dead Man,
Has Dipp’d his Bill,
He’s Dagg’d,
He’s seen the Devil,

E
He’s Prince Eugene,
Enter’d,
Wet both Eyes,
Cock Ey’d,
Got the Pole Evil,
Got a brass Eye,
Made an Example,
He’s Eat a Toad & half for Breakfast.
In his Element,

F
He’s Fishey,
Fox’d,
Fuddled,
Sore Footed,
Frozen,
Well in for’t,
Owes no Man a Farthing,
Fears no Man,
Crump Footed,
Been to France,
Flush’d,
Froze his Mouth,
Fetter’d,
Been to a Funeral,
His Flag is out,
Fuzl’d,
Spoke with his Friend,
Been at an Indian Feast.

G
He’s Glad,
Groatable,
Gold-headed,
Glaiz’d,
Generous,
Booz’d the Gage,
As Dizzy as a Goose,
Been before George,
Got the Gout,
Had a Kick in the Guts,
Been with Sir John Goa,
Been at Geneva,
Globular,
Got the Glanders.

H
Half and Half,
Hardy,
Top Heavy,
Got by the Head,
Hiddey,
Got on his little Hat,
Hammerish,
Loose in the Hilts,
Knows not the way Home,
Got the Hornson,
Haunted with Evil Spirits,
Has Taken Hippocrates grand Elixir,

I
He’s Intoxicated,
Jolly,
Jagg’d,
Jambled,
Going to Jerusalem,
Jocular,
Been to Jerico,
Juicy.

K
He’s a King,
Clips the King’s English,
Seen the French King,
The King is his Cousin,
Got Kib’d Heels,
Knapt,
Het his Kettle.

L
He’s in Liquor,
Lordly,
He makes Indentures with his Leggs,
Well to Live,
Light,
Lappy,
Limber,

M
He sees two Moons,
Merry,
Middling,
Moon-Ey’d,
Muddled,
Seen a Flock of Moons,
Maudlin,
Mountous,
Muddy,
Rais’d his Monuments,
Mellow,

N
He’s eat the Cocoa Nut,
Nimptopsical,
Got the Night Mare,

O
He’s Oil’d,
Eat Opium,
Smelt of an Onion,
Oxycrocium,
Overset,

P
He drank till he gave up his Half-Penny,
Pidgeon Ey’d,
Pungey,
Priddy,
As good conditioned as a Puppy,
Has scalt his Head Pan,
Been among the Philistines,
In his Prosperity,
He’s been among the Philippians,
He’s contending with Pharaoh,
Wasted his Paunch,
He’s Polite,
Eat a Pudding Bagg,

Q
He’s Quarrelsome,

R
He’s Rocky,
Raddled,
Rich,
Religious,
Lost his Rudder,
Ragged,
Rais’d,
Been too free with Sir Richard,
Like a Rat in Trouble.

S
He’s Stitch’d,
Seafaring,
In the Sudds,
Strong,
Been in the Sun,
As Drunk as David’s Sow,
Swampt,
His Skin is full,
He’s Steady,
He’s Stiff,
He’s burnt his Shoulder,
He’s got his Top Gallant Sails out,
Seen the yellow Star,
As Stiff as a Ring-bolt,
Half Seas over,
His Shoe pinches him,
Staggerish,
It is Star-light with him,
He carries too much Sail,
Stew’d
Stubb’d,
Soak’d,
Soft,
Been too free with Sir John Strawberry,
He’s right before the Wind with all his Studding Sails out,
Has Sold his Senses.

T
He’s Top’d,
Tongue-ty’d,
Tann’d,
Tipium Grove,
Double Tongu’d,
Topsy Turvey,
Tipsey,
Has Swallow’d a Tavern Token,
He’s Thaw’d,
He’s in a Trance,
He’s Trammel’d,

V
He makes Virginia Fence,
Valiant,
Got the Indian Vapours,

W
The Malt is above the Water,
He’s Wise,
He’s Wet,
He’s been to the Salt Water,
He’s Water-soaken,
He’s very Weary,
Out of the Way.

A note from Mr. Franklin: “The Phrases in this Dictionary are not (like most of our Terms of Art) borrow’d from Foreign Languages, neither are they collected from the Writings of the Learned in our own, but gather’d wholly from the modern Tavern-Conversation of Tiplers. I do not doubt but that there are many more in use; and I was even tempted to add a new one my self under the Letter B, to wit, Brutify’d: But upon Consideration, I fear’d being guilty of Injustice to the Brute Creation, if I represented Drunkenness as a beastly Vice, since, ’tis well-known, that the Brutes are in general a very sober sort of People.”

[Thanks to HistoryCarper.com for their Ben Franklin archives.]
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