Declaration 3/30 : Misquote Ben Franklin Day

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Article I.
Given that we are all familiar with the Ben Franklin misquote and miss-attribution as it pertains to the favoured beverage of this publick notices board- a quotation that shall not be further perpetuated in this declaration:

Article II.
And given that that the Inspiration was, as with many things, from the Dude, a denizen of high standing on this publick notices board:

http://twitter.com/IronOrr/status/1418313947
Color me leary of BF beer quotes, if true RT @SaintArnold: "There can't be good living where there is not good drinking" - Ben Franklin
Article III
As an agent of this publick notices board I hereby do declare this day, March 30th 2009 and other March 30's that we should have the fortune to countenance, "Misquote Ben Franklin Day" where-in we shall make quotations attributed to Mr Franklin concerning the favoured beverage of this publick notices board knowing full well that these quotations did not emanate from the lips of Mr Franklin.
 
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"Excellent heat transfer properties of Aluminum and relative low cost is proof that God is ambivalent about the stainless steel/aluminum debate." - Benjamin Franklin
 

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"I imbibed so much of God's favorite beverage yesterevening that I pissed my knickers." - Ben Franklin
 

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"If you want a saying to sound wise, say Benjamin Franklin said it" - Benjamin Franklin
 
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Some supposedly factual information: Benjamin Franklin - Wikiquote

Back to your regularly scheduled misquotations...



"Behold the rain which descends from heaven upon our driveways; there it soaks the brewers and their gear, changing a labor of love to a prolonged chore; a constant proof that God loves us, but also loves to f--- with us." - Ben Franklin
 
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"When I speak of rain and vines and vineyards, I am appeasing the French but I really mean, beer." - Benjamin Franklin prior to his travels to France as an ambassador.
 

Matt Up North

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"Not only is beer proof that god loves us, but that god doesn't mind a slightly larger midsection on men or women " - Ben Franklin
 
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Relax, Don't Worry, Have a Madeira. And by Madeira, I mean a beer made in the confines of one's home. - Benjamin Franklin
 

Matt Up North

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"Once again, F*ck the French! They are evil and arrogant and nobody likes Kronenbourg anyways." - Benny Franklin after his return to the USA from France
 
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"Without me, your waffles will be lonely, your French toast sticks bland, your pancakes dry, and your winter beer lacking that quintessential imitation maple flavor." - Benjemima Franklin
 

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"I declare the Reinheitsgebot to be the 11th amendment to the Bills of Rights" - Benjamin Franklin
 

Matt Up North

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"Without me, your waffles will be lonely, your French toast sticks bland, your pancakes dry, and your winter beer lacking that quintessential imitation maple flavor." - Benjemima Franklin
This is now my signature as it is classic beyond all means. Don't forget syrup on the bacon too!
 

Matt Up North

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"I had to cut down on my drinking, so now I only have beer in the morning instead of my normal glass of wine." - Benjamin Franklin

"One Love, One Heart, Let's get together and drink a beer." - BenJammin Marley
 

Beerdrop

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"A key placed halfway up thy string on thy kite shall thus make a wonderous heatstick in the presence of lighting" - Ben Franklin
 
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"In several generations, all of my writings about beer produced in the home (HOMEBREW) shall also apply to a set of conventions which issue forth instructions on a small communication device to be held in the palm of one's hand. All of my quotations on WINE will apply to a set of conventions and instruction which will ensure the matrimony of two libraries. These are not conventional libraries to which we are accustomed... but we have no time for that now. If you remember nothing, place all of your fortunes on the colonial NAVY in the America's cup." Bejadamus Franklinus.
 

Matt Up North

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"There are three things that a man must accomplish before he dies. Brew his own beer, teach someone to brew his own beer, and then go to France to piss on them." - Ben Franklin

By the way, for you wine people, watch Bottle Shock for a historically inaccurate but entertaining film about the downfall of arrogance.
 

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"Jeez I'm loaded... hold this kite string for a second, would ya?"

Frenjamin Banklin
 

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"Could someone loan me a $100 to cover my bar tab?" - Benjamin Franklin
 

Hugh_Jass

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Give a man a brew, and he'll drink for a day. Teach a man to brew and he'll spend his life savings on brewing equipment and supplies.
 
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