Dead people are *******!!!

[GilaMinumBeer]

That has jailbait written all over it.

Must be written under the cream.

 

[Laughing_Gnome_Invisible]

and she has the handcuffs in your size!

That has jailbait written all over it.

I hadn't noticed the handcuff necklace. Jail bait indeed!

 

[HBHoss]

We are talking about Gnome here. Right up his alley.

Here's Gnomes type!

 

[GilaMinumBeer]

Here's Gnomes type!

That's more like it. At least this one is old enough to be his daughter (not that he is into that or anything).

 

[shecky]

and she has the handcuffs in your size!

You see that pic and notice the handcuffs? I'm worried about you.

 

[HBHoss]

You see that pic and notice the handcuffs? I'm worried about you.

At least I didn't comment on her hair or something.

 

[Zymurgrafi]

Hate to tell you this gnomey, it's just you.

Dead people are supposed to yield just like everyone else. Funeral procession or no.


They were gunning for you. Yup, it was personal.

Must have been Zombie hitman!

 

[Zymurgrafi]

At least I didn't comment on her hair or something.

She (he? rest of her seems pretty boyish) seems to have some bocci balls inserted in her skin behind those cans of whipcream.

Yeah, her hair is pretty bad too.

 

[GilaMinumBeer]

At least I didn't comment on her hair or something.

Wow. Nice tile. Is that Italian?

 

[HBHoss]

Wow. Nice tile. Is that Italian?

Good grout work too.

 

[GilaMinumBeer]

Nothing wrong with her hair. And look, her straps have buckles. Must be designer.

 

[ChshreCat]

Hey, if I'm gonna hafta die then I have a right to take as many of you with me as possible.

 

[HBHoss]

Nothing wrong with her hair. And look, her straps have buckles. Must be designer.

I think it's even monogrammed. Very nice. Doors open too.

 

[GilaMinumBeer]

Hey, if I'm gonna hafta die then I have a right to take as many of you with me as possible.

That is assuming you ever made it into the car.

Homebrewers........coffin box.......I'm just saying.

 

[Zymurgrafi]

That's why I want to cremate myself. Worst I can be accused of is getting ashes in somebodies eyes. Just light a big bonfire and lie down. Sucks that it is illegal.


I like fire.

 

[ChshreCat]

I already told my family that when I die I want to be cremated and have my ashes scattered over Angelina Jolie.

SWMBO said that Angelina probably wouldn't want that.

I suggested she use the element of surprise.

 

[DeathBrewer]

and i still want a tibetan sky burial. free trip for my body and all my friends.

 

[wild]

A man was walking back home when he noticed a most unusual funeral procession approaching the nearby cemetery.
A long black hearse was followed by a second long black hearse about 50 feet behind. Behind the second hearse was a solitary man walking with a dog. Behind that were 200 men walking in a single file.
He respectfully approached the man walking with the dog and said, "I am so sorry for your loss, and I know now is a bad time to disturb you, but I've never seen a funeral procession like this. Whose funeral is it?"
The man replied, "Well, that first hearse is for my wife. My dog attacked and killed her."
He inquired further, "Well, who is in the second hearse?"
The man answered, "My mother-in-law. She was trying to help my wife when the dog turned on her."
After a moment of silence he asked, "Can I borrow the dog?"
The man with the dog replied,
"Get in line."

 

[Revvy]

That's why I want to cremate myself. Worst I can be accused of is getting ashes in somebodies eyes. Just light a big bonfire and lie down. Sucks that it is illegal.


I like fire.

When I was in ministerial school in Missouri, and when I went back to work there before coming back to Michigan for my Dad, I was one of the few there entrusted to do the ash scattering ritual in the rose gardens on the grounds. We'd get people from all around the world shipping their ashes there.

I learned a couple things....

1) Those little plastic boxes that remains are usually hard to get open, so it's best to do it BEFORE you start doing the readings from the minister's manual...especially if there IS family around. Otherwise you might end up dumping the ashes when you finally break the seal on the box.

2) Make sure you are standing upwind of where you are spreading the remains.

3) If you forget number 2, AT LEAST make sure not to wear pants with cuffs.

(Only took me one scattering to learn those lessons.)

 

[Laughing_Gnome_Invisible]

I put my mum and dad under a couple of ornamental trees in my back garden this spring. I'm pretty sure they are breaking the law by staying there.

 

[ChshreCat]

A friend of my uncles died when I was a kid. He wanted his ashes scattered over the Olympic Mountains, so my uncle and a couple buddies chartered a little plane to take them up.

The ashes were in a stoneware urn and when it got time to scatter them, the guy sitting in the seat up by the pilot opened the little window up there and tried to dump the ashes out.

You can guess what happened.

 

[toasted]

lol at the title

 

[Zul'jin]

Y'all shut-up. I think shecky's cute.

 

[Zul'jin]

I also think dead people take up too much space. At least allow some squirrel hunting in that place.

 

[Revvy]

Y'all shut-up. I think shecky's cute.

Bwahahaha!!.....We WISH that were the Sheckster...but no such luck...HE has nobby knees and stuff.