Culling "Friends"

[Owly055]

Most of us have many "friends", but there is a difference between friends and Friends. Since I began brewing a lot, I've found who my real Friends are and who are just "friends". Just give someone a bottle of beer in an EZCap bottle. Your Friends will wash the bottle and return it quickly, your "friends" will not willingly return the bottle, and when you bully them into bringing it back, you will find that they drank the beer but didn't bother cleaning the bottle.
It becomes increasingly clear who my real Friends are.......... They bring my bottles back promptly, and clean,

H.W.

 

[AkTom]

I tell friends it's home brew etiquette to rinse and return. No return, no more bottles. Usually that works.

 

[alphaomega]

I tend to err on the side of caution, and avoid people as much as possible. Works well for me

 

[bajaedition]

I didn't move to the middle of the desert to be surrounded by people.


I digress

I think the ones that want to be enemies throw the bottles away

and if they want a death warrant issued, they throw a growler away

 

[lewandowski46]

Just because they didn't return the bottle doesn't mean you get to kill them. Kind of a harsh punishment.

Same thing with Growlers. I'll do some fills for some guys at work because they want to try it, but you get sticky, smelly mess in return. Is it that hard to rinse it out?

 

[Owly055]

I tell friends it's home brew etiquette to rinse and return. No return, no more bottles. Usually that works.

I have one "friend" up the street who I've known virtually all his life, his parents are also "friends". He's a "flake". His father is of the same stuff. Quite "well to do", at least in comparison to me. He got beer from me ONCE about 3 years ago, and still has the EzCap bottles, has owed me $75 for almost 10 years, had the habit of letting his dogs run loose, until they started killing cats, and I laid down the law last year. Either you fence the dogs in or I'll shoot them, and I very nearly did twice, but couldn't get a shot with my 20 gauge without something in the background I didn't want to damage. They still are allowed to run loose too often, just not as often because he knows I'll kill them if he does. He put in an invisible fence, but won't use it normally. I'll never see my bottles, or my $75, and he will never see another bottle of homebrew. The pathetic thing is that it doesn't have to be this way ;-( Just as little consideration and decency go a long way toward being a good neighbor! We don't "not get along", but I do not consider him a friend.

H.W.

 

[shoengine]

All of the people I've shared with have been conscientious. I get my bottle back, rinsed and rolled up in a bag. Maybe it is because I only distribute them to my family/friends/buddies/acquaintances in bombers, and that may provide a visual reminder. Anyway, not sure what their political leanings are, and I'd rather not know, but I only share with people who love beer and I know well. So far so good!

 

[myelo]

had the habit of letting his dogs run loose, until they started killing cats, and I laid down the law last year. Either you fence the dogs in or I'll shoot them, and I very nearly did twice, but couldn't get a shot with my 20 gauge without something in the background I didn't want to damage. They still are allowed to run loose too often, just not as often because he knows I'll kill them if he does.

I find it more effective to shoot at who's fault it is. (Hint: it's not the dog).

 

[Owly055]

I find it more effective to shoot at who's fault it is. (Hint: it's not the dog).

Dogs don't have rights....... By the way do you come up for bail?

 

[Henbrew]

I'm more upset by my friends/family not pouring my beer properly from the bottle. They often turn the bottles over, which mixes the yeast back into the beer, or they pour the yeast into their glass... if they use a glass. I've stopped expecting clean bottles, if I get them back.

 

[Paps]

I don't speak for anyone else but....
Keep in mind that my dogs are indoor dogs and let outside only in my fenced in yard and supervised.
I would gladly return the favor and shoot any person whom shoots at my dogs.

The dogs aren't at fault. It's a dick move to take it out on them.
Man up and talk to the owner.

 

[myelo]

Dogs don't have rights....... By the way do you come up for bail?

I've got a couple hundred acres of farmland and a backhoe. I'm good thanks.

 

[MaryB]

Now that I am going to kegging I told friends that if they want beer they need to buy a growler. If they want it to keep for a week or two and have a glass a night then buy the one that has the small CO charger setup. 3 of them gave me money and said order the CO2 setup one, 2 of them said no I am not buying anything. Well then you are not getting anymore beer because I am not bottling it!

 

[madscientist451]

It becomes increasingly clear who my real Friends are.......... They bring my bottles back promptly, and clean,

H.W.

Having lots of friends is a good thing, even if you don't agree with their political views, so is giving stuff away.
Perhaps a solution would be to give away some beer in regular capped
12 oz. bottles and if they ask for more ask them to buy some swing top bottles or a growler. Maybe they could trade or give you something they made, like garden produce or a food item they made in their kitchen.

 

[Brownalemikie]

All of my friends are Trump supporters and they always clean and return the bottles before my next bottling day

 

[Sadu]

I find myself a lot more willing to give beer to friends that return bottles.

Some friends you don't even need to ask - they just know that delabelling bottles sucks and that I expect the bottles back. These friends get to drink Baltic porters, barleywines, Belgians, and properly aged lagers. And all is well in the world.

 

[Soulshine2]

I tell friends it's home brew etiquette to rinse and return. No return, no more bottles. Usually that works.

like a core charge or deposit

 

[Soulshine2]

not sure how this went political so fast. Can we please stay on Beer?

 

[kh54s10]

Nice one... Bringing politics into the discussion. I don't rate my friends by whether they remember to return my bottles.... You are pretty self centered!!!

 

[brick_haus]

Real friends dont ask their friends to return bottles. If they return them great, if they are clean all the better.
My friends dont have conditions.

 

[Owly055]

Nice one... Bringing politics into the discussion. I don't rate my friends by whether they remember to return my bottles.... You are pretty self centered!!!

Bringing expensive bottles back and rinsing them out, or not, pretty much separates out the thoughtless inconsiderate folks from the thoughtful caring ones you can rely on. A person's character is reflected in his or her actions. I don't consider that it is at all "self centered" to choose those who are thoughtful and considerate as your real friends, and regard those who are not as friends in name only. I don't waste "emotional energy" or any other kind on shallow, inconsiderate, thoughtless, self centered, unreliable people. People who return bottles, are also people who will be there when friends need them, people worth forging solid relationships with. Real (capital F) Friendship is a two way street.
I don't go around saying "you're not a true friend", I just don't bother drying to develop anything of any depth. I don't "invest" in those kinds of people. True friends "grow together" over the years. People who don't return bottles are either people I have already identified as people I'm not interested in developing a true friendship with because they are inconsiderate and self centered, or fairly new acquaintances. The large 1L EzCap bottles are $5 each now. I don't bottle much beer, and the only bottles I own are EzCaps, mostly the smaller ones that are cheaper, but still quite expensive. I don't even own a capper and don't intend to.

The other group I mentioned, or more accurately did not mention, rarely get beer from me. I only share with them when I brew a Half Wit.

H.W.

 

[catdaddy66]

I tend to err on the side of caution, and avoid people as much as possible. Works well for me

I know, right??

 

[seatazzz]

I've gotten to the point that I keep quiet about my brewing on FB. If I mention it, at least 5 people I haven't seen in 30 years (and kinda don't want to see, I'm a bit of an introvert) start hounding me to meet up with them so I can give them beer. 5 gallons of beer goes fast in our house and it is a bit of a tug to part with any. That, and the fact that I shy away from potential harsh criticism from anyone who isn't a homebrewer or really knows their beers. Not necessarily a beer snob-just anyone who doesn't get it. Don't know if that makes sense but it does to me.

 

[Sadu]

Negative feedback doesn't bother me so much. I will take negative feedback over no feedback every time. More often than not its a case of giving someone the wrong style rather than bad beer. If I give a craft nerd a cream ale and they come back saying it was OK but a bit flavourless and meh, that is because they wanted something hoppy rather than a flawed beer. Some people enjoy the chance to try something different, other people are better off buying commercial beer because they like every bottle to be the same. I mean that with no disrespect, its a valid world view.

 

[MaryB]

I don't rate them by bottle return but they sure as heck are not getting any free beer if they don't provide their own growler and keep it clean! Because I am tired of nasty moldy bottles with chew, cig butts, and spit in them!

Nice one... Bringing politics into the discussion. I don't rate my friends by whether they remember to return my bottles.... You are pretty self centered!!!

 

[jmcquesten]

If you really want to see who your friends are, ask for help moving....

 

[RustyHorn]

I'm a bit of an introvert

You might be, but that example only proves that you can be shy or nervous around certain people. Introverts are not necessarily shy; it's a common misconception and is nearly always misunderstood. Extroverts are energised around groups but tire when alone, whereas, introverts tire around groups and energise when alone.
Sorry for the digression!

 

[RustyHorn]

If you really want to see who your friends are, ask for help moving....

This made me chuckle as I'm moving house soon. Everyone I've asked has said yes, but I'm waiting for the excuses as the days close in!

 

[bajaedition]

If you really want to see who your friends are, ask for help moving....

It is easier to hire a few teenagers to do the lifting and loading than ask friends who never show up or suddenly that day have an emergency. I have found a few Benjamins go a long way on moving day.

 

[Tommydee]

I generally just give away 12 oz, and don't expect them back, nor do I ask. There aren't a ton of home brewers in NJ, so not everyone knows the etiquette. Empty bottles are about $0.60 at the LHBS, so I figure this into the gift....I also keg, and find it a pain to bottle....so I don't give away much anyways, rather like to serve to house guests.