Crap kids say

[Brew_Dude41]

Middle slices are for winners.

You and I will just have to agree to disagree on this point...

 

[soccerdad]

Middle slices are for winners.

Winners avoid pizza altogether

 

[SundayBeers]

My daughter's 4, and not too many nights ago after being asked to get her jammies on for like the 3rd time, said "Grrrrrrr, I just need you to be quiet, I already know everything you're going to say."

4, going on 14 I think.

She sounds like she could be a handful when she's a teenager

 

[betarhoalphadelta]

Middle slices are for winners.

Spoken like a true Chicagoan!

I miss Chicago thin crust pizza... Nobody even knows it's a thing, due to the notoriety of its portly cousin.

 

[OleBrewing]

The daughter was watching top ten poisonous critters or something. Then asks me what's an erection. Apparently one particular critters side effects is a boner. Think I side stepped the question and said I would explain at a later time.

 

[SanPancho]

i've been trying to clean up my potty mouth for a while, thought i was doing pretty well if i do say so myself. although not perfect.

quite a few of us were crying from laughter a few weeks ago when my 2.5 daughter got so frustrated with a toy she couldnt get working she yelled "*********!!"

after being told that wasnt something she should be saying, the next outburst from her was "jesus christ!!"

like i said, i'm still working on it..

 

[day_trippr]

Well...cutting to the essence of the event, a week ago my youngest grandson (2) marched into their living room holding an old digital camera with a big scowl on his face and dropped a fully emoted F-bomb right then and there.

Have to say I was proud of the little pup

 

[Jayjay1976]

Spoken like a true Chicagoan!

I miss Chicago thin crust pizza... Nobody even knows it's a thing, due to the notoriety of its portly cousin.

I grew up on the south side, and it wasn't until I moved into student housing as a college freshman up on the north shore that I ever had a slice of deep dish. It couldn't have been more foreign to me if it were a bowl of squid. I literally didn't know how TF to eat that weird @$$ s#!t.

Thin and crispy tavern style crust with a proper sweet and herbal sauce, absolutely swimming in a sea of browned scamorza and cut into party squares is the only real Chicago pizza I've ever known. According to my parents, a (whole) Venuso's pie was my first solid food, and we aren't even Italians ffs we're just south siders.
Cheezus effin' Crust, some things are sacred.

Edit: And don't even think of comparing Chicago thin crust to NY style pizza, we have a few of those joints here and while it's a very nice variation on the pizza theme, it ain't anything like a real Chicago pizza.

 

[Hophunter]

Can’t for the life of me understand how you have good pizza in the philly/jersey/ny area, and good pizza in chicago. But nearly everything in between is *****. My family in central OH thinks Domino’s is good. Blech.

 

[balrog]

Middle slices are for winners.

You and I will just have to agree to disagree on this point...

Winners avoid pizza altogether

Can’t for the life of me understand how you have good pizza in the philly/jersey/ny area, and good pizza in chicago. But nearly everything in between is *****. My family in central OH thinks Domino’s is good. Blech.

Folks, it's why God invented Calzones.

 

[rgregoryirving]

I have two daughters (3 1/2 & 1) and when I come home from work they always come sit on my lap and we read books...well last month I had a vasectomy and for the next few days I didn't want either of them sitting on my lap, so we told the oldest that I had a ****oo under my pants...for the next week, every time we saw a family member, the first thing out of her mouth was "my daddy has a ****oo under his pants".

 

[doogster]

Can’t for the life of me understand how you have good pizza in the philly/jersey/ny area, and good pizza in chicago. But nearly everything in between is *****. My family in central OH thinks Domino’s is good. Blech.

Good Pizza made it all the way to St. Louis too... grew up there.... Cusanelli's cracker thin crust... and Provel cheese (no, not provelone)... Its a St. Louis specialty... and being in OH... have to order online or bring it back from St. L when I visit. And Sadly, Cusanelli's has closed.

 

[DBhomebrew]

Good Pizza made it all the way to St. Louis too... grew up there.... Cusanelli's cracker thin crust... and Provel cheese (no, not provelone)... Its a St. Louis specialty... and being in OH... have to order online or bring it back from St. L when I visit. And Sadly, Cusanelli's has closed.

This NYer moved to STL a couple years ago. In my humble (I'm a NYer, so not very humble at all) opinion, Provel is not something to be proud of. It's ok when hot, but coats my teeth like Velveeta when cooled. Processed mozzarella and provelone, blech.

Give me thin crust, not a cracker. Real, 100% cheese, non-processed mozzarella. The sauce should taste mostly of tomatoes. Not too salty, not too sweet. Cut the big circle into triangles. Fold each triangle when you pick it up. Can't do that with a square piece of cracker.

Too bad Cusanelli's has closed. I'd give it a try.

 

[DBhomebrew]

Folks, it's why God invented Calzones.

Ordered a calzone in Lancaster PA. Wondered what the orange cheese was, asked the counter. Cheddar. Cheddar in a calzone?!

On the other hand, a shop opened up in the same town a few months before I moved away. A true Mom & Pop. Ordered a meatball slice. Grandma pulled a meatball out of the massive simmering pot of sauce. Pop sliced it up and heated the big ol' slice. Daughter brought it out to my table. I was sad to move away from them.

 

[soccerdad]

The sauce should taste mostly of tomatoes. Not too salty, not too sweet.

This is my beef with pizza. 99 times out of 100 the sauce is loaded with either sugar or salt to make it unpalatable. Give me grilled flatbread - but please, no pizza. Or maybe free Tums with every slice.

 

[tracer bullet]

... the first thing out of her mouth was "my daddy has a ****oo under his pants".

Last summer after a long bike / brew thing with some friends, my glutes hurt. Didn't make a big deal of it, but did tell my wife "my butt muscles hurt from yesterday". Of course the next week my daughter (5) told everyone she saw "my dad's butt hurts".

Also last summer we spent some time in Durango, and went to a hot springs. You can shower afterwards, and my wife brought my daughter in with her. I was in an adjacent bathroom so this is 2nd hand but basically my daughter laughed hysterically that my wife had some "hair on her girly parts". She couldn't stop talking about it and apparently every single woman in the whole place was laughing at the situation as well. Ahh, she'd kill me if she knew I shared this.

 

[balrog]

Last summer after a long bike / brew thing with some friends, my glutes hurt. Didn't make a big deal of it, but did tell my wife "my butt muscles hurt from yesterday". Of course the next week my daughter (5) told everyone she saw "my dad's butt hurts".

Also last summer we spent some time in Durango, and went to a hot springs. You can shower afterwards, and my wife brought my daughter in with her. I was in an adjacent bathroom so this is 2nd hand but basically my daughter laughed hysterically that my wife had some "hair on her girly parts". She couldn't stop talking about it and apparently every single woman in the whole place was laughing at the situation as well. Ahh, she'd kill me if she knew I shared this.

pfsh! It’s just one more thing in a long line of things for which she’ll kill you. If you’re lucky, she won’t even know about all the stuff you do for which she would kill you.

 

[davidabcd]

Nobody even knows it's a thing,

You're right, at least with me. I am intrigued. Is it similar enough to NY style or Neapolitan?

 

[betarhoalphadelta]

You're right, at least with me. I am intrigued. Is it similar enough to NY style or Neapolitan?

I think the crust is typically a little more substantial than NY style. You wouldn't be very likely to fold a slice like NY, even if it was cut that way. Likewise, the crust is a little more chewy than crispy, so it's not exactly a crispy "cracker" texture like St Louis. Around the edge it might get a bit crusty, and won't expand into a bready texture around the edges.

It's often common that the toppings [particularly sausage] are below the cheese, which IMHO helps to brown the cheese all over the top of the pizza, whereas most other styles have the toppings above the cheese.

And of course the key to this discussion is that Chicago tavern style is cut into squares, not wedges.

 

[soccerdad]

Last summer after a long bike / brew thing with some friends, my glutes hurt. Didn't make a big deal of it, but did tell my wife "my butt muscles hurt from yesterday". Of course the next week my daughter (5) told everyone she saw "my dad's butt hurts".

Also last summer we spent some time in Durango, and went to a hot springs. You can shower afterwards, and my wife brought my daughter in with her. I was in an adjacent bathroom so this is 2nd hand but basically my daughter laughed hysterically that my wife had some "hair on her girly parts". She couldn't stop talking about it and apparently every single woman in the whole place was laughing at the situation as well. Ahh, she'd kill me if she knew I shared this.

I recall this from my teen years as part of Oscar Brand's collection of bawdy songs. This version was what you tube had. You could teach it to your daughter. ;-)

 

[davidabcd]

I think the crust is typically a little more substantial than NY style. You wouldn't be very likely to fold a slice like NY, even if it was cut that way. Likewise, the crust is a little more chewy than crispy, so it's not exactly a crispy "cracker" texture like St Louis. Around the edge it might get a bit crusty, and won't expand into a bready texture around the edges.

It's often common that the toppings [particularly sausage] are below the cheese, which IMHO helps to brown the cheese all over the top of the pizza, whereas most other styles have the toppings above the cheese.

Thanks for the info. Sounds good.

 

[SundayBeers]

Can’t for the life of me understand how you have good pizza in the philly/jersey/ny area, and good pizza in chicago. But nearly everything in between is *****. My family in central OH thinks Domino’s is good. Blech.

I can't be dealing with Dominos pizza

 

[Brew_Dude41]

I can't be dealing with Dominos pizza

Obviously you have not had the train wreck called Donotos--it raises the game of Domino's 20 fold. Given the choice, I am getting Domino's every time and calling it great by comparison.

 

[betarhoalphadelta]

Can’t for the life of me understand how you have good pizza in the philly/jersey/ny area, and good pizza in chicago. But nearly everything in between is *****. My family in central OH thinks Domino’s is good. Blech.

Because in between there isn't enough population density to force major pizza competition. Competition leads to better pizza.

 

[Hophunter]

Oh, I’ve had Donatos. Some memories will haunt you til the day you die. To be fair to my parents, the small 3 stoplight town they live in has all of 3 places to get a pie and two of them are Papa Johns and Dominoes. The third is a drive thru.

 

[501irishred]

When getting in my Jeep, I've heard 8 and 6 fighting over "who gets Daddy's side" for years. Apparently sitting in the backseat on the drivers side is something of an honor, unassumingly due to the overwhelming love and respect they hold for me (right?). Well, about a month ago I started hearing a fight for "the Donut side" which turns out to be the passenger side ....... sometimes its easier not to ask. After a while I could stand it anymore and made the inquiry. Turns out when I pick up donuts most Sundays, I put their golden beauties in the passengers seat. Just like that, the torch has been passed.
I don't believe I'll fill my wife in on this new development as she is also in the vehicle (holding the donuts) most of the time.

 

[Jayjay1976]

Oh, I’ve had Donatos. Some memories will haunt you til the day you die. To be fair to my parents, the small 3 stoplight town they live in has all of 3 places to get a pie and two of them are Papa Johns and Dominoes. The third is a drive thru.

Aurelio's pizza is IMHO the benchmark for excellent Chicago-style pizza.

Edit: it's the SAUCE!!!

 

[khannon]

Can’t for the life of me understand how you have good pizza in the philly/jersey/ny area, and good pizza in chicago. But nearly everything in between is *****. My family in central OH thinks Domino’s is good. Blech.

Masshole here, but went a few years ago with a kid to something in Columbus OH.. The only thing that would deliver to the hotel was Domino's.. Never doing that again, I think I had a year's worth of salt in one "slice"..

 

[Jayjay1976]

Masshole here, but went a few years ago with a kid to something in Columbus OH.. The only thing that would deliver to the hotel was Domino's.. Never doing that again, I think I had a year's worth of salt in one "slice"..

Yeah, high blood pressure here. In my experience super salty pizza is compensating for something. Real good stuff I can eat a pile of and not have a sodium freakout. Sweet tomato paste sauce simmered with oregano and the sweet puch of malt syrup, then smothered in fresh grated mozzarella is the ticket.

 

[soccerdad]

Honestly folks - kids don't tell you how to make pizza sauce.