If it looks like an IPA, tastes like an IPA, and smells like an IPA but Chuck Norris says its a Stout, then its a F'ing stout.
Chuck Norris crashes his secondary simply with a cold stare.
Chuck Norris himself is a wort chiller.
Chuck Norris doesn't care about ABV because there is no amount of alcohol powerful enough to mess him up.
Yeast doesn't ferment for Chuck Norris.... until he tells it to.
Chuck Norris makes his own extract simply with grain and fear.
When Chuck is around, hops are measured in Beta content. Because they know Chuck is the only real Alpha