Brew Friend Problem.

[brewmonk]

if it is that he's used to getting his moneys worth, have him bring money.

 

[Trevor57]

This dude sounds like an *******. If he doesn't understand that you don't show up to people's houses empty handed he needs to be told. Maybe the reason he has a nice house, is because he is a cheap-ass scavenger?

 

[beerocd]

Did ya kill him yet?

 

[JiveTurkey]

Tell the guy your issues, offer alternatives, and invite his input.

In other words... just talk to him.

 

[twoodward15]

I havea couple brew buddies. We gather and both of us brew a 10 gallon batch that we split. One person is in charge of each brew. Most beers are the same money or very close in price, so I don't worry too much about that. It's nice getting 2 different beers out of it and I really enjoy the conversation. It's a huge bonus for me. So, put together another all grain set up and have him brew his own. You can build a mash tun out of a cooler you find in the trash. For $10 you can have him up and running and brewing for you!

 

[twoodward15]

another thought. Tell him to bring $20 with him next time he comes. Have all the parts for a mash tun ready to build and have him build it. Take his $20 for parts.

 

[Nostrildamus]

Well, one of the huge problems with him getting his own equipment is that he doesn't want to use a cooler, a bucket and a small kettle. He wants something like my keggles or better/bigger. I've already told him he could have an all-grain setup for under $200 but he is stuck on having one worth $500+ but then he says he doesn't like the fact that it is so large and so much equipment.

All in all, I don't think he really wants to brew THAT bad. I think he is like countless others that love the idea of brewing but when it comes down to doing all the work themselves would much rather just go to a U-Brew and I'm starting to think that is how he views our brew days.

 

[bad coffee]

so charge him like a U brew.

$ charges:
Grain
Adjuncts
Water
Yeast
Propane
Ferment time (you could be fermenting one of your beers in that pail)
Bottles
Caps
Lables

Make it worth your while if he's just using you as a BOP.

B

 

[Homercidal]

Sounds like he just likes to hang out and be your buddy. If you enjoy his company, then have him bring the ingredients, and have him brew the beer (with your help) and keep half. Is that so much to have to put with to hang with a friend?

If you don't like his company, then that's a whole nother story.

I got a friend that comes over to brew quite often. He's always had an interest, but basically doesn't drink beer. We BS about politics, Religion, sex, etc. And I'm distracted from my brewing. I'm not so good, and so prepared that I could do it in my sleep. I'm usually running around trying to get stuff done and getting frustrated.

He has never tried to read up on it, doesn't know when to step in and help, and I think has no idea how much concentration it takes for me sometimes. Some day I'll get the process down pat. Until then, he is more work than brewing without him.

I don't mind feeding him, and it's not his company that is the problem, just my need for total focus on what I'm doing at the moment. I've brewed a few times without him and found it to be much more relaxing and successful.

He's actually even said he likes the lighter beer we've made (Centennial Blonde), so maybe I should invite him over and have him brew that while I help and supervise. Then he can see how much work it is. And he can have some "one a day for good health" beer.

 

[TechyDork]

My brewing buddies and I had a similar setup. Two of us had made the investments and built the brewing rig. We had also set up an old chest freezer for the fermenter. The third guy didn't have any money invested in the setup. So, he would pay for all of the ingredients and we would split the brew. It worked OK for a while.

During the next brew day, tell him he's in charge of "this step" and go off and do one of your other chores. This is all in the spirit of teaching him, but you won't be stuck babysitting the whole time. Who knows maybe he'll get more into it if he feels like he can really do this himself. I know I had to do a few brews solo before I really had a good grasp of the various steps.

Good luck!

This is how i would go about it. I have a brew buddy that actually got me into the hobby this way. i would go over and hang out while he brewed, then after a couple times watching he slowly gave me more and more things to do.

after a couple times of "helping" i went out and got my own equipment and now we brew together.

for me it is nice to have someone there to talk to and toss back a couple beers with while i brew. somedays it is also nice to just brew on my own.

why don't you ask him to purchase all the ingredients and then let him brew on your gear. just tell him this is a test run for him and that he should get his own set up. i know for me once i started getting my hands dirty in the process i was all in and got my own gear.

if that doesn't appeal to you just let him know that when you brew you like the time to yourself. if he is a true friend he will understand.

 

[jjones17]

If it were me, the next time he asks to do another batch I would just say:

"Nah, it takes too much time for us to do it this way... But I like hanging out. Tell you what, I will go with you to the LHBS and show you what equipment to buy. Its just a drain on our day to have 2 people doing 1 batch."

 

[Cheaton]

Sounds like you should start "renting" your equipment to him. "hey buddy! $20 and the rig is yours for 8 hours!". Check in occaisionally to make sure he's not burning your house down, and after 10 or so brews either the money will add up and he'll start thinking about his own rig, or you'll just continue to make money!

 

[blackwaterbrewer]

dont be a wussy. if he is your friend, honesty is paramount. tell him to stop being a biitch and shiit or get off the pot. But, it sounds like he just wants someone to hang out with and brewing beer with you is a sure way to do it. if this is the case, then maybe he needs you as a friend more than you need him. this is an opportunity for you to truely bless someone with friendship that they may have never had before. sometimes rich people get so lonley because everyone wants something from them and it is refreshing to have someone giving something of themselves, especially if it is our most valuable commodity: our time.

 

[Llysse]

Lots of good advice here, actually. I agree with the consensus view: simply tell him you don't want to brew with him. You can and should (of course) do it politely, since you value his friendship. And it will suck to have to say it, but it really should be said:

"I was happy to show you how to brew, and I still hope you'll begin brewing yourself now that you know how, but there's really nothing more I can show you about the process until you get your own equipment. The truth is that I really prefer to brew by myself, and I prefer to buy my own ingredients (so all my work gets me the full batch). I hope you understand."

Something like that would be hard to take too badly. If you really feel guilty--you shouldn't!--but if you do, you could also get him Palmer's book as a sort of "parting gift" since your brew partnership is at an end. Not necessary, but if he's a reader, it might help inspire him, and seems like it would be a nice gesture of goodwill if you're afraid he's the type to be hurt.

Even though I am a chick ;-) , I'd probably just tell him bluntly and simply "No, thanks" the next time he asked. But I'm a little more candid than most, and I figure if a "friend" gets angry at me for straightforward, reasonable requests, he or she isn't really friend material anyway. It's too draining to hang out with people who are constantly offended.

 

[lady_brewer]

This sounds like a Dear Abby column. "Man up" and tell the guy you like to brew alone. I know I do.

Passive aggressive people deal with these situations much differently, but you and he are dudes. Be real and put it on the table.

Fixed that for ya...

 

[Nostrildamus]

This is too good. I can't believe I've said three times that I've already decided what I was going to do yet people just keep posting. Let's go for 10 pages!!!

 

[CalmYourself]

Since you've already sorted it out...

Move to Mexico, let border patrol keep him away from your brew days

 

[rico567]

No problem, tell him you will let him know when you are ready to brew another batch w/ him but you are pretty busy so it might be a while?? Call him when you are ready, willing and available. If it never happens, oh well?

This. Tell him. If everything you say is true, then he's just taking advantage of you. My guess is that his SO has put the ky-bosh on his brewing at home, and this is his solution. It's not necessarily easy to do this kind of thing with a friend, but it's the answer, I believe.

 

[rico567]

This is too good. I can't believe I've said three times that I've already decided what I was going to do yet people just keep posting. Let's go for 10 pages!!!

Well.....as you might have noticed, contributors to this forum do enjoy chiming in with their own anecdotes. If you think the thread has gone on too far, you can always ask the mods to lock it.

 

[Grimster]

This is too good. I can't believe I've said three times that I've already decided what I was going to do yet people just keep posting. Let's go for 10 pages!!!

A lot of people reply to posts as they read through a thread so they're not actually seeing your "ok I've decided what to do" when they hit "Reply". Just saying

Just doing my part to get to 10 pages

 

[TexLaw]

If you think the thread has gone on too far, you can always ask the mods to lock it.

. . . or just stop tuning in and let folks go on and on forever. No one has to babysit the thread any more than they have to babysit a novice brewer who won't get his own stuff.


TL

 

[Grimster]

. . . or just stop tuning in and let folks go on and on forever. No one has to babysit the thread any more than they have to babysit a novice brewer who won't get his own stuff.


TL

True, just unsuscribe from the thread and let it ferment in peace, like a forgotten batch of apfelwine in the closet in your spare bedroom you brewed up last year

 

[Arkador]

I am thankful of the brewbuddy I landed with. We were both Extract brewers, and are both collecting everything to do our own all grain batches. At the moment, we don't either have everything, but between the two of us, we do. So he comes over and brings the parts I am missing. We Brew, drink, and eat (I have provided food so far, but he has bit of a drive, and I don't go there incase my wife needs me to help her with our kids.)

At the end of the day, we both have our wort, and clean up. The next time, we both taste each others beer because we use different fermentation techniques, and usually different yeast. In another 6 months when we both have our own completed rigs, I hope to still brew together on occasion because i enjoy the company, and it makes the day go a bit smoother, and we are learning together.

For you, I agree with what most are saying.. tell him this arrangement isn't working out for you. When I have someone that wants me to make them 5gal of beer, they pay for me to make 10, and I keep half.

 

[kevster]

I did read most of this, but I wanted to post something I didn't see (and because I feel the exact same way about having people over for the whole brew). Why not have him come over half way through the process? It sounds like you don't mind hanging out, you just don't feel like doing it for 4 -5 hours. Have him come around when you're going to start sparging, that way he's pretty much only there for the boil and chill (and you can have him take care of the cleanup while he's watching).

And honestly, whether he's seen it before or not, there really isn't anything to watch for the first couple of hours. Heating up water and pouring it into a container? Then waiting an hour? He can miss that and still be there for the process.

 

[Nostrildamus]

OH! As much as I was tired of people continuing to comment on this thread, Arkador has made about the best suggestion I have ever heard. Bob is going to pay for the entire batch next time and I'll keep half. That would totally interest me and make it worth my while.

 

[mordantly]

. . . or just stop tuning in and let folks go on and on forever. No one has to babysit the thread any more than they have to babysit a novice brewer who won't get his own stuff.

snap!

so it's NOT normal to converse with myself about a long since resolved topic?

 

[homebeerbrewer]

snap!

so it's NOT normal to converse with myself about a long since resolved topic?

Not if you're answering you...

 

[Yooper]

snap!

so it's NOT normal to converse with myself about a long since resolved topic?

Wow- now you sound like a chick!


(This is a joke. No actual females were harmed in the making of this joke).

 

[Grimster]

OH! As much as I was tired of people continuing to comment on this thread, Arkador has made about the best suggestion I have ever heard. Bob is going to pay for the entire batch next time and I'll keep half. That would totally interest me and make it worth my while.

And he's still getting a deal on some good beer over buying it in the store! Win/Win!

 

[Nostrildamus]

Ahhh screw it. He can get his own set up. I only pay $30 for a 12 gallon batch as is. How friggin' cheap can I get?

But nonetheless, should I accomodate, it is a win/win.