Boilover is an evil demon

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cheezydemon3

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Not seriously. It is uncanny, however, how boilover happens.

I literally watch it for 15 minutes straight. turn around to rinse my strainer, turn to look back and it is all over.

Only seems to happen once every 15 brews or so, but when it does, ARRRRRGH!!!!!!
 

neosapien

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it really is uncanny. i've only ever had one, and it happened during the 15 seconds i turned my back to start a new playlist of music. i think the wort watches and waits for us like a petulant child.
 

jerrodm

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I attribute it to gremlins. See here for their impact on aviation, but I've got a strong suspicion that a certain tribe of the little f*ckers like to mess with our temperature controls, volumes, and so on. Pretty much any inexplicable problem with brewing? Gremlins.
 

ArcticBear

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doing 5 gallon batches in a 15.5 gallon keggle it never happened.. until i swapped to a new blingmann burner...that stout boiled so fast it had nowhere to dissipate the foam but up and out... my buddy was trying to tame it with an empty garden hose (he didnt realize the water was off) as i was running to grab the fermcap...
 

jerrodm

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OK fine.

Here's what I assume happened then: the gnomes are clearly out to catch your bear. But they know that the bear isn't likely to just walk up and let them grab it. They know they can steal the bear from your carboy, but we've been on to that for some time (see DrunkleJohn's post). What not everyone knows, however, is that bears are strongly attracted to the scent of carmelized malt, particularly on the top of a hot stove. For this reason, the gnomes will often turn up the temp on your BK when you're not looking. The kettle boils over, the bear comes sniffing around, and the gnome grabs it.

As confirmation, let me ask you this: on those occasions when you do have a boil over, how many times have you had trouble finding a bear for your fermenter afterwards? If you're anything like me, it's very difficult to find a bear on those days, and I'm pretty sure the reason is that the gnomes have already stolen the bear, by luring it in with the admittedly heavenly scent of burning wort.

Case closed.
 

ScubaSteve

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Yeah, it's scary. That's why fermcap gets my vote for the best $5 you'll ever spend in homebrewing.
 

HopsMan

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jerrodm said:
OK fine.

Here's what I assume happened then: the gnomes are clearly out to catch your bear. But they know that the bear isn't likely to just walk up and let them grab it. They know they can steal the bear from your carboy, but we've been on to that for some time (see DrunkleJohn's post). What not everyone knows, however, is that bears are strongly attracted to the scent of carmelized malt, particularly on the top of a hot stove. For this reason, the gnomes will often turn up the temp on your BK when you're not looking. The kettle boils over, the bear comes sniffing around, and the gnome grabs it.

As confirmation, let me ask you this: on those occasions when you do have a boil over, how many times have you had trouble finding a bear for your fermenter afterwards? If you're anything like me, it's very difficult to find a bear on those days, and I'm pretty sure the reason is that the gnomes have already stolen the bear, by luring it in with the admittedly heavenly scent of burning wort.

Case closed.
This right here...is awesome.
 

RmikeVT

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Yeah, it's scary. That's why fermcap gets my vote for the best $5 you'll ever spend in homebrewing.
+1

I bought some at my LHBS for $3.75, I filled a 7.5 gallon pot up with about 1/4" to spare at the top and no boil over. It was amazing, I didn't even have to watch the pot, I just went inside and let it do its thing until I needed late hop additions and wirfloc.
 
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cheezydemon3

cheezydemon3

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OK fine.

Here's what I assume happened then: the gnomes are clearly out to catch your bear. But they know that the bear isn't likely to just walk up and let them grab it. They know they can steal the bear from your carboy, but we've been on to that for some time (see DrunkleJohn's post). What not everyone knows, however, is that bears are strongly attracted to the scent of carmelized malt, particularly on the top of a hot stove. For this reason, the gnomes will often turn up the temp on your BK when you're not looking. The kettle boils over, the bear comes sniffing around, and the gnome grabs it.

As confirmation, let me ask you this: on those occasions when you do have a boil over, how many times have you had trouble finding a bear for your fermenter afterwards? If you're anything like me, it's very difficult to find a bear on those days, and I'm pretty sure the reason is that the gnomes have already stolen the bear, by luring it in with the admittedly heavenly scent of burning wort.

Case closed.
You are supposed to use a fresh bear each time????

*facepalm*

No wonder my bear is nearly comatose and my beers are all tasting like stale gym socks.

He has been in that carboy for 15 batches........


I've been chasing off bears!!!!!!


I' m such a fool......
 

DrunkleJon

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I always start with a fresh cub in my primary. I get a fresher, cleaner flavor. Sourcing the cubs is rather dangerous as their mothers dont like you getting between them, and disposing of them after fermentation is a real 'bear'.

Ok I am going to go hide now.
 

jerrodm

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I always start with a fresh cub in my primary. I get a fresher, cleaner flavor. Sourcing the cubs is rather dangerous as their mothers dont like you getting between them, and disposing of them after fermentation is a real 'bear'.

Ok I am going to go hide now.
Wait, you HIDE the bears? Is that before or after fermenting? And why? I always put them in there unharmed, I find that the less stressed the bear is, the better it performs (like yeast). Or do you hide them afterward? For drinking beer in the carboy? I've never really had many bear-related discipline problems...gnomes, on the other hand, I'd love to give one of them a good hiding, if I could only catch the little buggers.
 

DrunkleJon

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No, I hide as a result of reviving the bears topic. Its not a troll... its a bear!

I also hide from the momma bears. They dont agree with dry-bearing.
 

RmikeVT

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UNSUBSCRIBE UNSUBSCRIBE!!!!! Aaahhhh

Im terrified of bears, let alone gnomes. I would have never started brewing if I knew any of this. What have I gotten myself into. I live in a city and dump my spent grain down the gutter in the alley -- the gnomes and bears probably think Im just mocking them -- oh man, Im in trouble.
 
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cheezydemon3

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UNSUBSCRIBE UNSUBSCRIBE!!!!! Aaahhhh

Im terrified of bears, let alone gnomes. I would have never started brewing if I knew any of this. What have I gotten myself into. I live in a city and dump my spent grain down the gutter in the alley -- the gnomes and bears probably think Im just mocking them -- oh man, Im in trouble.
It really isn't that big a deal!!!!

You can even have bears shipped now.

Lots of tranquilizer,and the ability to easily lift and move a 700 lb bear is all that is required.

.....That and one BIG damned fermenter.
 

jerrodm

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I recommend an engine hoist, like this one. They're economical, and boy are they useful if the bear is still drugged. Before I got one, I'd have to ask the neighbors to come over and help me get it in the carboy. They did it, but you could tell they didn't like it.

Also, and apropos of nothing, this:

 
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cheezydemon3

cheezydemon3

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Jerrodm, your posts are a wealth of extremely well thought out information put into nearly poetic phrasing.

The simple beauty with which you wrap text nearly brings a tear to my eye....*sniff*
 

jkendal

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Evil or not - it WILL wait until you're not looking.....
 

DromJohn

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Karma is not "evil," it's just is.
From hinduism.about.com:
Every time we think or do something, we create a cause, which in time will bear its corresponding effects.
 
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cheezydemon3

cheezydemon3

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Karma is not "evil," it's just is.
From hinduism.about.com:
Every time we think or do something, we create a cause, which in time will bear its corresponding effects.
No such thing.

Some of the biggest assholes on the planet get the most *****, the most $$, and die the happiest.
 
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cheezydemon3

cheezydemon3

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Karma is not "evil," it's just is.
From hinduism.about.com:
Every time we think or do something, we create a cause, which in time will bear its corresponding effects.
Why do I suddenly feel like I am in Ghosbusters trying to think of NOTHING......
 
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