Best News Headlines

[MaxStout]

"Man bit on the penis by a cobra while pooping."

If you see a cobra pooping you should leave it alone.

 

[Dland]

https://news.yahoo.com/hawaiian-stream-started-smelling-beer-174709748.html

 

[Jhedrick83]

https://news.yahoo.com/hawaiian-stream-started-smelling-beer-174709748.html

Tap the Rockies!!! Coors Light!!!!

 

[Kent88]

'Megaspider' is biggest of its kind we've ever seen, Australian reptile park says

Australia. Not even once.

 

[Kent88]

Facing shortages, Canada taps its strategic reserves of maple syrup

 

[doug293cz]

Facing shortages, Canada taps its strategic reserves of maple syrup

Who knew maple syrup was a strategic commodity?

Brew on

 

[balrog]

Is the strategic reserve some underground cavern, sequestered amongst the shoreline of Hudson Bay, or are we just talking about a protected grove of untapped sugar maples somewhere?

 

[GrogNerd]

In 2019 a barrel of maple syrup was worth almost CA$1,900, according to Capx: 20 times the value of a barrel of crude oil.

 

[Deadalus]

Great maple syrup heist.

 

[balrog]

Snowed in at an English Pub...with an Oasis cover band.

I guess all of the stars faded away.
Into a wonderwall of snow.

<rim shot>

 

[kartracer2]

Reasons #300 - 400 why Fedex shipping fails,

Cheers,
Joel B.

 

[GrogNerd]

Dozens of curse tablets found down a 2,500-year-old well in Athens

check out the date on that article. maybe they should put those effers back in the well?

 

[Jhedrick83]

Snowed in at an English Pub...with an Oasis cover band.

I guess all of the stars faded away.
Into a wonderwall of snow.

<rim shot>

Every time a snow plow passes, "Maybe you're gonna be the one that saves me"

 

[GrogNerd]

I am totally unhip to the musics of the last 30 years

I quit listening to new stuff in 1989/90.

 

[soccerdad]

Fercrissake - is this journalism??
https://www.yahoo.com/lifestyle/were-worlds-drunkest-countries-2021-180541189.html
On the other hand, I marvel once again at the restraint of my Canadian friends, eh?

 

[balrog]

I was always told, by a proud Czech, that the Czech Republic was highest per capita beer consumer. (Sidenote: I asked why the name change to Czech Republic, and he said they even went further and now call it Czechia, which "nobody likes").

Anyway, quick dip into the always-true interwebz and one quickly finds survey after survey, and ya know what? None of 'em match. This animated yearly one was fun, but stopped in 2018. One of the most annoying was this nicely technical looking one, but with the page title of "Beer Consumption By Country 2021", clicking on Czechia (sorry Jan), then clicking "sources", the data is from 2018.

The interwebz lets me down, once again.

 

[day_trippr]

"Genius At Work"

https://www.cnn.com/2021/12/03/us/house-fire-snake-removal-trnd/index.html

 

[balrog]

https://www.cnn.com/2021/12/03/us/house-fire-snake-removal-trnd/index.html

I bet the snakes are gone

 

[balrog]

Welp, this oughta stir the rabid conspiracy theorists into a right good frenzy...

China moon rover will investigate cube-shaped 'mystery' object on lunar far side

 

[soccerdad]

Something Pink Floyd left behind.

 

[Deadalus]

Something Pink Floyd left behind.

That's where Roger lives.

 

[sweetcell]

borg egg

 

[day_trippr]

Once again, not exactly "best" and definitely not humorous. The "farm" where this happened is just 2 miles from us. I think the biggest animals they have there are sheep, maybe goats as well. To think a friggin' sheep could take someone out is sobering...

https://www.nbcboston.com/news/loca...ollowing-bolton-farm-incident-police/2582826/

 

[Dland]

That is indeed tragic, but sobering? I'd go the other way with that & have a drink for the deceased and maybe another one for the "sheep" that will be killed for taking out a member of the dominant species.

Likely a ram, but there are alpha yews in some flocks , but whatever. I've helped out on farms with sheep in VT & NZ, they are not formidable foes, but they are animals & when trying to survive or pursue their agendas , they will do the best they can.

Anyway hopefully the old gal went out doing what she wanted to do instead of lying in a bed stuck w tubes.

A comfort animal? Someone had some old sheep & saw some a grant or donation some where, ...nah, don't want to know, but...anyway, would not be the first time...

 

[Sailingeric]

https://toofab.com/2021/12/06/bomb-...ives-with-wwii-artillery-shell-in-his-rectum/

 

[soccerdad]

I hate it when that happens.

 

[doug293cz]

https://toofab.com/2021/12/06/bomb-...ives-with-wwii-artillery-shell-in-his-rectum/

It's amazing all the different things people slip and fall on.

Brew on

 

[balrog]

My mamma always told me, video games were going to ruin civilization.

Tesla Owners Are Playing Video Games While Driving


[side note: she told me this when I was usually playing, that's right, Civilization -- "just one more turn..."]

 

[Kent88]

Dozens of camels barred from Saudi beauty contest over Botox

 

[balrog]

The "Birds Aren't Real" Conspiracy Theory.

I have never heard of this. Started in 1976. From the movement's website: " the government has since replaced every living bird with robotic replicas "

WTactualF?