Relayed by Akron Beacon Journal columnist Bob Dyer:
Worked up
Some hot news in a recent edition of the Port Clinton News Herald. And we quote: “A Port Clinton woman faces several charges after calling 911 and saying she needed to have a fire put out in her crotch.
“Katrina Morgan, 50, called the Port Clinton Police Department about 10 p.m. Saturday, asking for the fire department, because her ‘p***y’ was on fire, according to a Port Clinton Police report.
“Morgan was charged with felony disrupting of public services and misdemeanor making false alarms. ...
“A 911 call from the incident revealed Morgan asked if their ‘hose is working’ and said, ‘I need somebody to come put it out with their hose,’ according to the report.”
Now here’s a shock: “Empty bottles of alcohol were found at the home and the residents stated they all were drinking and that Morgan was intoxicated.”