Best News Headlines

[catdaddy66]

Ho-lee-shiznit!

https://www.cbsnews.com/amp/news/helicopter-rotor-decapitates-man-at-florida-airport-fire-official/

 

[HoppyDaze]

 

[nmfree]

Ho-lee-shiznit!

https://www.cbsnews.com/amp/news/helicopter-rotor-decapitates-man-at-florida-airport-fire-official/

"Why was the helicopter flying so low?"

 

[Zuljin]

CHINESE LUNAR ROVER FINDS NO EVIDENCE OF AMERICAN MOON LANDING
https://worldnewsdailyreport.com/chinese-lunar-rover-finds-no-evidence-of-american-moon-landings/

Could that be because they landed on the opposite side of the moon roughly 3000 miles away?

Let me know when they land on the dark side of the sun.

 

[ancientmariner52]

Let me know when they land on the dark side of the sun.

Just in case anyone hasn't scrolled to the very bottom: everything on that web site is satirical nonsense.

 

[lschiavo]

Just in case anyone hasn't scrolled to the very bottom: everything on that web site is satirical nonsense.

Have you ever scrolled to the bottom of this website?

 

[Pkrd]

Just in case anyone hasn't scrolled to the very bottom: everything on that web site is satirical nonsense.

Pretty hard to tell these days.

 

[Still Brewn]

No I didn't.... doesn't really matter if you know the history of moon exploration at all and take everything you read in the "news" with a grain of salt. But thanks for the info... just wait until you see the story on Fox or CNN "news".

 

[day_trippr]

https://www.nydailynews.com/news/national/ny-news-walmart-woman-wine-cart-banned-20190113-story.html
Walmart bans woman for driving around parking lot in electric handicapped cart, quaffing wine from Pringles can

Sadly, no pictures - though the picture was fairly well painted in the title
There's always http://www.peopleofwalmart.com/

 

[ancientmariner52]

https://www.nydailynews.com/news/national/ny-news-walmart-woman-wine-cart-banned-20190113-story.html
Walmart bans woman for driving around parking lot in electric handicapped cart, quaffing wine from Pringles can

Sadly, no pictures - though the picture was fairly well painted in the title
There's always http://www.peopleofwalmart.com/

I'd just like to point out: Walmart didn't create those people. They are your neighbors. They've always been there. In the shadows. Waiting ......

 

[soccerdad]

IWalmart didn't create those people. They are your neighbors.

Neighbors ??? God, I wish. These are my in-laws.

 

[nmfree]

 

[BrewerBrad82]

https://gizmodo.com/man-injects-18-doses-of-semen-into-arm-to-cure-back-pai-1831817131

 

[catdaddy66]

https://gizmodo.com/man-injects-18-doses-of-semen-into-arm-to-cure-back-pai-1831817131

Think about this beyond the ick factor... He had to think of this, plan it out and execute the plan. Not once did he think it was maybe a bad idea. On the contrary, he felt so positive about success he did it 17(!) more times. Wow

 

[mongoose33]

Think about this beyond the ick factor... He had to think of this, plan it out and execute the plan. Not once did he think it was maybe a bad idea. On the contrary, he felt so positive about success he did it 17(!) more times. Wow

I just want to know the theory behind it. Why did he think this would possibly work, and why, after 17 times doing it did he think the 18th time would be the charm?

 

[day_trippr]

So did this nitwit die yet? (not gonna open the link, sorry. I just ate )

 

[BrewerBrad82]

I'm wondering how you get the "dose" in a syringe without air bubbles...

 

[soccerdad]

Like Robin Williams said about golf .. "So you do this once?" "**** noo. You do it 18 fackin' times."

 

[Pkrd]

Did he go blind?

 

[sweetcell]

I just want to know the theory behind it. Why did he think this would possibly work, and why, after 17 times doing it did he think the 18th time would be the charm?

based on what i read elsewhere, the dude misunderstood the relationship between sperm and stem cells. he thought that since spermatozoa are "incomplete cells", they can somehow morph and become anything... but that's not how this works. that's not how any of this works.

as to why 18 times, your guess is as good as mine.

 

[HoppyDaze]

based on what i read elsewhere, the dude misunderstood the relationship between sperm and stem cells. he thought that since spermatozoa are "incomplete cells", they can somehow morph and become anything... but that's not how this works. that's not how any of this works.

as to why 18 times, your guess is as good as mine.

It’s a good thing because otherwise my wife would have like 2,000 tits

 

[catdaddy66]

Huh?

https://www.foxnews.com/us/woman-pr...aregiver-into-sexual-gratification-police.amp

If anyone else has used this tactic, how does this work?

 

[GilaMinumBeer]

If anyone else has used this tactic, how does this work?

I've not used this specific tactic, but my wife says she married out of pity, which has been sexually gratifying. Close enough?

 

[OG-wan Kenobi]

https://metro.co.uk/video/moment-passenger-relieves-aisle-plane-1843368/


Well now that happened

 

[catdaddy66]

https://www.yahoo.com/news/florida-police-run-over-couple-224307983.html

Just... Wow.

 

[sweetcell]

https://www.yahoo.com/news/florida-police-run-over-couple-224307983.html

Just... Wow.

apologies if this has been posted here before:

 

[catdaddy66]

I kinda knew this instinctively.

https://nypost.com/2019/01/25/cdc-warns-americans-not-to-kiss-their-hedgehogs/amp/

 

[HoppyDaze]

Not a headline, but sweet ad: https://twitter.com/Super70sSports/status/1089032575732146176

 

[MaxStout]

Man has "death party" for his sick wife. With mugshot goodness.

 

[Still Brewn]

Not a headline, but sweet ad: https://twitter.com/Super70sSports/status/1089032575732146176

Does not get any better than this. Hopefully during my death party I can have my life's best home brew, my wife and my Johnson has something to do also!