Best News Headlines

[NGD]

https://www.mmamania.com/2019/4/19/...ep-beat-by-brazilian-mma-fighter-joyce-vieira

I would hit it, but she would rip my head off like the mantis...

You know that guy saw her walking towards him and started thinking his fantasies were about to come true..then “ow” “ouch!” “Oh sh#^”

 

[nmfree]

Smoking Psychedelic Toad Milk Could Alleviate Depression For Up To Four Weeks

 

[day_trippr]

Whomever was the first to smoke frog gunge has hella big balls...and zero sense of self preservation...

 

[balrog]

Smoking Psychedelic Toad Milk Could Alleviate Depression For Up To Four Weeks

Ok. First, ew. Like, srsly, EW. Secondly, what kinda phycho-trip are you already on to figure this one out?

 

[catdaddy66]

Another Florida headline...

https://miami.cbslocal.com/2019/04/22/video-florida-easter-bunny-brawl-viral-video/

 

[bleme]

Another Florida headline...

https://miami.cbslocal.com/2019/04/22/video-florida-easter-bunny-brawl-viral-video/

Rabbit punches... hopping mad....

 

[doug293cz]

Rabbit punches... hopping mad....

Was that really necessary? :groan:

Brew on

 

[OG-wan Kenobi]

https://www.yahoo.com/news/watch-easter-bunny-throw-punches-165325539.html

"Watch the Easter Bunny throw punches in a street brawl, because Florida"


That's actually the headline

 

[Brewenstein]

https://www.foxnews.com/us/florida-man-easter-bunny-costume-viral-brawl-explained

Should have kept his mouth shut.

 

[bleme]

https://www.foxnews.com/us/florida-man-easter-bunny-costume-viral-brawl-explained

Should have kept his mouth shut.

I figured he had been hired as 'entertainment' by the bar, but this cwazy wabbit just bought a costume at Walmart to go bar hopping!

 

[balrog]

The bad puns just keep proliferating...

 

[jack13]

This one is disturbing and morbid, but fits the bill for this thread:

Beheaded Men Said Saudis Got False Confessions Via Torture

 

[sweetcell]

file under "first world problems"...

NFL Draft ruining bachelorette parties in Nashville

 

[catdaddy66]

I'm going to boycott...

https://news.avclub.com/jeopardy-producers-have-stripped-contestants-of-their-1834356162/amp

 

[Andrew Hodgson]

Intoxicated woman, 54, is arrested after 'asking a 911 operator how to kill her 76-year-old boyfriend because hitting him five times with a VCR tape and trying to strike him with a leaf blower battery failed to end his life'

https://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-6972883/Intoxicated-woman-54-arrested-asking-911-operator-kill-76-year-old-boyfriend.html

 

[balrog]

Intoxicated woman, 54, is arrested after 'asking a 911 operator how to kill her 76-year-old boyfriend because hitting him five times with a VCR tape and trying to strike him with a leaf blower battery failed to end his life'

I find myself annoyingly disappointed that it was in upstate NY and not in Florida...

 

[passedpawn]

I find myself annoyingly disappointed that it was in upstate NY and not in Florida...

 

[LAHammer]

I find myself annoyingly disappointed that it was in upstate NY and not in Florida...

They just hadn’t moved there yet. You think those stories are only about natives?

 

[passedpawn]

They just hadn’t moved there yet. You think those stories are only about natives?

"My parents didn't want to move to Florida, but they turned 60 and that's the law" - Jerry Seinfeld.

 

[NGD]

Police: Motorcyclist Crashes While Flipping Off Woman On Highway [Link: https://dfw.cbslocal.com/2019/04/30...-after-flipping-off-woman-critical-condition/ ]

No, this one isn’t in Florida and yes I did think it was.

 

[bleme]

Police: Motorcyclist Crashes While Flipping Off Woman On Highway [Link: https://dfw.cbslocal.com/2019/04/30...-after-flipping-off-woman-critical-condition/ ]

No, this one isn’t in Florida and yes I did think it was.

I think if it was Florida, it would have involved some nudity.

 

[sweetcell]

I think if it was Florida, it would have involved some nudity.

and an alligator.

 

[Andrew Hodgson]

Man, 56, 'shoots his girlfriend and her son during an argument over whether Chevy or Ford is the better car manufacturer'

https://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/ar...bs-girlfriend-argument-Ford-Chevy-better.html

 

[HoppyDaze]

Ford owners are always the insecure ones who think their trucks are as nice as Chevy. Don't agree? Come at me bro...

 

[doug293cz]

Ford owners are always the insecure ones who think their trucks are as nice as Chevy. Don't agree? Come at me bro...

Do not turn this thread into a debate on Ford v. Chevy, or anything else. If you want to start a debate on a contentious topic, start it in the Debate forum (supporting members only.)

doug293cz
HBT Moderator

 

[day_trippr]

hahahahah!

But you're still always welcome in the Masshole threads

 

[ThirstyPawsHB]

Man, 56, 'shoots his girlfriend and her son during an argument over whether Chevy or Ford is the better car manufacturer'

https://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/ar...bs-girlfriend-argument-Ford-Chevy-better.html

Dear Universe, I think we're done evolving. Just go ahead and end it...

https://www.space.com/asteroid-apophis-2029-flyby-planetary-defense.html

 

[catdaddy66]

https://amp.cnn.com/cnn/2019/05/02/...treet-new-york-street-renamed-trnd/index.html

How 'bout that...

 

[catdaddy66]

https://www.foxnews.com/us/police-lincoln-man-drops-gun-shoots-self-in-genitals.amp

That is known as a frontier vasectomy!

 

[balrog]

Again...why not Florida? Or TN, “the patron state of shootin’ stuff”