Best Brewery Tour/Brewery jokes

[Brewmance]

Only 'tour' I have been on was an impromptu one with the head brewer when I stopped by Absolution Brewing when in Los Angeles..Heard the 'empty the urinals and send to the Bud plant in Van Nuys' there..Got a good chuckle from all that heard him say it..LOL..

Maybe if timing is right the tourists can get involved, maybe tossing in a measure of hops, stir the mash, push a button to start the transfer from one container to another..Something that afterwards they can brag and say they played a part: "I helped make that beer!"..

awesome idea, When I tour during a brew I will definitely do that. I usually let them pour their own beer off a bright tank. IE, put their cup under the pigtail I'm turning on and off.

 

[Peyope]

Another Lakefront one I heard almost 10 years ago (before I brewed). The tour guide must have been talking about transferring the beer after the boil or after lautering. Anyways, the guide said something like "When we brew on 3rd shift, [brew assistant X] is responsible for transferring the wort at 2am. He loves his job and loves his beer and sometimes he ventures downtown before coming in to transfer the wort at bar close. That's usually not an issue, but on the rare occasion at bar close he gets lucky and takes a pretty girl home. Even then, he's usually only 15 minutes late."

 

[Brewmance]

I'm working on a tour joke, something about wanting to be a yeast because they have the best life in the world, eating sugar and reproducing all day. Anyone have any idea's how I should position this?

 

[JoshuaW]

I'm working on a tour joke, something about wanting to be a yeast because they have the best life in the world, eating sugar and reproducing all day. Anyone have any idea's how I should position this?

"Yeast are really the rock stars of beer. You know what their job is? They get to swim around eating sugar all day and reproducing to until their heart's content. "

 

[TallDan]

"Yeast are really the rock stars of beer. You know what their job is? They get to swim around eating sugar all day and reproducing to until their heart's content. "

Optionally (maybe depending on your audience or seasonally) sub in "spring breakers" for "rock stars".

 

[MuddyCreek]

They get to swim around eating sugar all day and reproducing to until their heart's content. "

Yeast = Elvis.

Sequined Jumpsuit Mandatory!

 

[nDub]

I don't know how this would work but it'd be funny.

Stand in the crowd with everyone at the starting spot (don't wear any thing identifying) and wait until the tour is supposed to start then start complaining really loudly that the tour guy is late.

Then just jump in the front and say "if this guy isn't showing I'm going to lead this tour"

Then kinda sketchy start giving a tour using all the correct info but making it look like your either unsure or making it up.

Be even better if you can have some else who works with you come in halfway through the tour looking pissed and ask why everyone is back there.