Ragutis
Well-Known Member
I'll start with one of my favorites. No offense intended to the Irish.
An Irishman left the local pub and was making his way unsteadily home when he decided to take a shortcut and got lost.
He went to have a seat on a rock and figure out where he went wrong. As he sat he heard a squeak from the rock.
"Get off me you lout!" Shouted a leprechaun who had been napping on the rock.
Though in a drunken stupor the Irishman knew he had the leprechaun where he wanted him.
"Not until you grant me my wishes." said the Irishman.
"Get off me and I'll grant you the customary three wishes." Gasped the leprechaun.
Once freed, the leprechaun paced back and forth while the Irishman sat on the rock and pondered his wishes.
"Come on, come on. I don't have all night." Said the leprechaun.
"I'm too thirsty to think straight." Said the Irishman. "Make my first wish an nice cool pint of beer."
Poof, in his hand appeared a pint of beer.
"Come on, come on. What are your other two wishes?" Prodded the leprechaun.
"Just let me finish my beer and I'll tell you what the other two wishes are." Said the Irishman while sipping his beer.
"You'll never finish it. It's a magical beer. As soon as you empty it, it'll refill itself." Said the leprechaun.
The Irishman proceeded to drain the pint, but as soon as he brought it away from his lips, it was full again. Astonished, he once again drained the pint only to have it full again instantly.
"There, are you satisfied? Now, what are your other two wishes?" Asked the leprechaun.
Smiling, the Irishman said "I'll just have two more of these please."
Another obligatory joke....
How is Coors Light like making love in a canoe?
****ing close to water.
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Share your favorite beer jokes here.
An Irishman left the local pub and was making his way unsteadily home when he decided to take a shortcut and got lost.
He went to have a seat on a rock and figure out where he went wrong. As he sat he heard a squeak from the rock.
"Get off me you lout!" Shouted a leprechaun who had been napping on the rock.
Though in a drunken stupor the Irishman knew he had the leprechaun where he wanted him.
"Not until you grant me my wishes." said the Irishman.
"Get off me and I'll grant you the customary three wishes." Gasped the leprechaun.
Once freed, the leprechaun paced back and forth while the Irishman sat on the rock and pondered his wishes.
"Come on, come on. I don't have all night." Said the leprechaun.
"I'm too thirsty to think straight." Said the Irishman. "Make my first wish an nice cool pint of beer."
Poof, in his hand appeared a pint of beer.
"Come on, come on. What are your other two wishes?" Prodded the leprechaun.
"Just let me finish my beer and I'll tell you what the other two wishes are." Said the Irishman while sipping his beer.
"You'll never finish it. It's a magical beer. As soon as you empty it, it'll refill itself." Said the leprechaun.
The Irishman proceeded to drain the pint, but as soon as he brought it away from his lips, it was full again. Astonished, he once again drained the pint only to have it full again instantly.
"There, are you satisfied? Now, what are your other two wishes?" Asked the leprechaun.
Smiling, the Irishman said "I'll just have two more of these please."
Another obligatory joke....
How is Coors Light like making love in a canoe?
****ing close to water.
—————————————————
Share your favorite beer jokes here.