Awesome Craigslist Rant from an ACO

[Evan!]

I design, among other things, Animal Shelters. Most of them are public (county) jobs for the Animal Control guys. I've been to conferences and talked with a bunch of them, and this guy seems pretty spot-on. On top of it all, you'd be astounded at how low they are on the totem pole when it comes to funding. People just don't realize how important ACO's are...hell, at the last conference in NC we went to, I was talking with this guy from western NC and he said that they get so little funding from their county, their euthanasia chamber used to be comprised of a loose-stacked brick shed. They'd drive an old beater station wagon up to the shed, duct-tape a garden hose to the exhaust, and, well, yeah. Terrible...but the county was poor, so they wouldn't fork over the money. Anyway...read on...

Well, this one has been several years in the making.

Hello kids. I'm your friendly neighborhood Animal Control Officer, and I'd like to officially tell you all to bite my ass. Before I ride off into the sunset, however - here are some parting words...

1) To all the jackasses who ask me if I don't have something better to do than giving them a ticket for no license/dog off leash/being a *********. The answer is no. No, I have nothing better than to take my precious time and taxpayer dollars to write you a COMPLETELY LAME ticket for not doing what was your responsibility to do in the first place. I love nothing more than babysitting grown adults who seem incapable of wiping their own ass without law enforcement present. Thanks, dirtbags.

2) To all the jackasses who ask me why I'm not rounding up all the killer pitbulls. Where...WHERE!? Where are all the killer pitbulls that are roaming the streets and attacking your women and children. My god, the city should just issue you all SHOTGUNS to fend off these land sharks. In other news, THERE IS NO VICIOUS PITBULL EPIDEMIC. Let's all hold hands and say it together folks, the only epidemic is misinformation, ignorance and animal neglect. Thanks, please drive through to the second window and receive a punch in the face.

3) To all the jackasses who refuse to spay/neuter, or who think they're "breeders" because they put fido and fifi together and produced a litter of mongrels who will all likely end up in a barrel behind the shelter by the time they reach sexual maturity: Die. Diediediediedie. I wish to god that there was a mandatory spay/neuter law and that the penalty for breaking it was to be forced to spend a day working in the euthanasia room. Seriously. It's simple ****ing math, people. Every dog or cat you carelessly add into this world takes away a home for a dog or cat that is already here. So breeding means killing...so have a good day, executioners! I hope the 50 bucks you made off that puppy sure feels good.

4) There is no ******* thing as "No Kill". I hate to burst your collective bubble, but when you call and ask if our shelter is "no kill", don't treat me like a kitten murderer when I tell you NO. There are simply not enough resources or homes available to find every pet a home and that is NOT MY FAULT. Quite simply, there is no "dog whisperer" in the world who can save your eight year old Rottweiler that spent his entire life chained to a tree in your backyard. Sorry, buster - but this one's on you. And the places that claim to be "No Kill"? They simply send the unplaceable pets across the street to Animal Control who do the killing for them. WAKE. UP. Until mandatory spay/neuter becomes law, killing is going to happen.

5)You know what's fun? Being told that I must "really hate dogs" because I'm an Animal Control Officer. Yessir. I put up with ******* like you, the abysmally low pay, and this fabulously flattering uniform just so I can take all my bitterness out on your dog. That's also why I foster animals, paying for their care out of my own pocket and using up my precious little free time to do it. Yeah, that's it. Now how's about you shut your mouth and put a leash on your dog you *******, so I don't have to peel him off the street later.

6) LEASHES, PEOPLE. They're not just for the "bad dogs". Quite frankly, dogs are carnivores - predators, if you will. When they see something furry and running fast, like a squirrel or a cat - they tend to chase after it. Next thing you know, I'm scooping up Scooby with a plastic bag...not fun. Or, how about the person who does not in fact, like dogs and has to be accosted by your poochie when they walk down the street? Or, what about the dog aggressive dog being walked safely and in control on a leash until your unleashed dog comes up and just wants to say "hi"? Dog fights are pretty ugly, and NO ONE seems to anticipate them until it's too late. So don't piss and moan when I give you a verbal warning for having your dog off leash...because that leads me to:

7) Your mouth will write you a ticket. Oh yeah, no kidding. I hate writing tickets. They're a pain in the ass. I have to deal with your melt down, then I have to go back to the office and write a report about it. Next, I have to show up in court because you want to contest the ticket, even though 60% of the time YOU NEVER SHOW UP YOU CHICKEN**** BASTARDS. So, the deal is this - if you're nice and not eggregiously breaking the law, I'm probably just going to warn you and then go about my day. As soon as you break out the lip however, I'm breaking out the ticket book. Press hard, there's four copies.

In conclusion. I quit! Actually, you dip****s broke me a while back and it's been months of therapy before I could write this little missive. I still shudder when I see a pair of testicles on a dog though, so watch out.

 

[Arneba28]

Wow, someones angry. But well put non the less.

 

[FlyingHorse]

Great rant. I'm a huge believer that people shouldn't be allowed to have pets smarter than themselves

And a little side note about this:

6) LEASHES, PEOPLE. They're not just for the "bad dogs". Quite frankly, dogs are carnivores - predators, if you will. When they see something furry and running fast, like a squirrel or a cat - they tend to chase after it. Next thing you know, I'm scooping up Scooby with a plastic bag...not fun.

Couple weekends back, went down to the zoo with the kids. As we near the entrance, I see a couple walking on the other side of the street with a kid in a stroller, and what had to be a 130+ lb mastiff-looking dog -- with no leash. Seconds later, four Harleys roll up to the red light, and the dog goes berserk...runs out into the street, barking like crazy, circling the four bikes. The couple is trying to figure out how to get the dog back under control, scurrying around and passing the kid back and forth. The riders look a little nervous, a little angry, but are doing their best to help the moron get his dog back. To the point that when the light turns green, they continue to sit there holding up traffic, b/c they know if they take off the dog is going to chase them. (this is Fullerton just off Lake Shore Drive for those of you who know Chicago...on a nice Saturday afternoon, maybe one of the busiest intersections in the city, both vehicles and pedestrians).

After finaly corraling the dog, the couple retreats to the sidewalk, and the bikers and the backed-up traffic go on their merry way. Then the couple resumes their walk with the dog still off the leash.

 

[JustDave]

Good rant. And thanks for reminding me, it's time to send in a donation to the local animal shelter.

I agree about the leashes. Apparently this is a foreign concept to the several dog owners on my street who don't have fences. Listen, if your dog sees my dogs walking (on a leash, mind you), and he runs out in the street, and a car is coming by, what do you think is going to happen?

Some people just shouldn't own pets.

 

[blacklab]

+1 on the leashes. I HATE people who run around with their dogs off the leash. Usually it's some goof who thinks that now they're in the 'Great Northwest' we should all run free with our pets and flowers in our hair or whatever. Just yesterday I was driving home from work and nearly ran over some lady chasing her retriever across the street, leash flapping in the wind. And I won't even get into the park. There's always some f*ckhead with his/her dog off leash that ruins it for everyone.

I'm fired up!

 

[the_bird]

I hardly ever let Troy off leash. Even if we're up at my folk's house, with hardly anyone around, I panic that he's going to take off after a deer or something. Hell, he runs a lot faster than I do!

I did let him off leash up at my friend's farm, middle of nowhere, when there was about three or four feet of snow on the ground. So, he decides he wants to play - with the llamas. He *runs* into the field where they are, bounding through the snow. I'm trying to chase after him - but remember, there's three freakin' feet of snow on the ground, so I'm able to move at maybe half my normal walking speed. Meanwhile, they're getting pissed at him, kicking near him to warn him and ward him off, they're starting to run through the woods with him right behind... he's bounding forward after them, I'm right behind, but I can't catch up... "running" through the woods... and it's all in ultra-slow-mo because of the snow.

Finally, my friend opened up her house door, her dogs ran inside, and he got distracted by them and started chasing after them... .

Freakin' dog!

 

[Beerthoven]

Sheesh. Less anger and more logic would make his argument more compelling. But I guess he's not trying to change anyone's mind (because he won't), he just wants to give a big FU to the world.

It's pathetic, really. He obviously has strong feelings on the subject and cares about animal welfare. Too bad he's so "broken" now that he is basically useless, reduced to spouting obscenities on the internet. A stronger person would quit the job but not the cause. I hope he feels better now and can get himself back together.

 

[kornkob]

+. Just yesterday I was driving home from work and nearly ran over some lady chasing her retriever across the street, leash flapping in the wind.

In fairness, from your description it sounds like a dog wearing a leash got away from the owner-- which happens to the best of us and it's only luck that keeps the dog from taking off when you drop the leach by accident.

 

[the_bird]

Sheesh. Less anger and more logic would make his argument more compelling. But I guess he's not trying to change anyone's mind (because he won't), he just wants to give a big FU to the world.

It's pathetic, really. He obviously has strong feelings on the subject and cares about animal welfare. Too bad he's so "broken" now that he is basically useless, reduced to spouting obscenities on the internet. A stronger person would quit the job but not the cause. I hope he feels better now and can get himself back together.

Meh, it's a rant. Gets stuff off your chest so you can regroup.

 

[brauhaus]

Spot on, but agreed to him having less of an anger issue, I understand the dude is frustrated, but he could take his energy and rather than resort to anger, spread the word to neighborhoods, etc.

 

[blacklab]

In fairness, from your description it sounds like a dog wearing a leash got away from the owner-- which happens to the best of us and it's only luck that keeps the dog from taking off when you drop the leach by accident.

Didn't think it was necessary to add: I stopped the car and helped her corral the dog. I asked her why he wasn't on the leash so close to a major road. Her reply was that she always walks him off the leash because he's normally such a good boy. Someday I'm sure he'll be a flat boy if she keeps it up.

 

[brauhaus]

In fairness, from your description it sounds like a dog wearing a leash got away from the owner-- which happens to the best of us and it's only luck that keeps the dog from taking off when you drop the leach by accident.

i read that as the lady was running after the dog with the leash in her hand flapping in the wind.

oh well, you say po-tate-o I say po-tot-o

 

[kornkob]

i read that as the lady was running after the dog with the leash in her hand flapping in the wind.

oh well, you say po-tate-o I say po-tot-o

AH-- that makes the story very different.

Yeah-- when walking a dog, one of the 2 needs to be wearing the leash and the other needs to be holding onto it.


Course those new long retractable leashes are annoying sometimes. In fact a local pet place that lets you bring your pet in with you recently had to ban the retracto leashes because some people don't know how to control their dogs with them.

 

[NWernBrewer]

Spot on, but agreed to him having less of an anger issue, I understand the dude is frustrated, but he could take his energy and rather than resort to anger, spread the word to neighborhoods, etc.

Some people just aren't good at refocusing that kind of energy. He would see one bad situation and fly off the freaking handle. Instead of us reading it - imagine the intensity of a guy showing up at your front door and screaming it in your face.

It's good to vent - we don't really have an airlock so sometimes we just got to burp the bucket.

 

[ohiobrewtus]

Ya know, I never really thought much about this but I watched animal cops Houston (I think it was Houston) on Animal Planet last nigght and after seeing some of the people that were on there and the conditions that they hadd some off these animals in, I agree with all points above.

 

[MikeFlynn74]

wow that was spot on. lol

 

[DrinksWellWithOthers]

I used to have these [ignorant, white trash] neighbors who thought that their dog, a german shepherd, was behaved well enough to never need a leash. They thought the same thing about their 3 and 4 year old kids who played in the street while the mother drank mixed drinks and talked on the phone and never payed attention, but thats another story in itself. One day my brother was driving down the street and the dog ran out between cars right in front of his. The dog survived but with a couple of broken legs but these neighbors went f'ing nuts on us. They almost assaulted my brother (he was 17 or 18 at the time) until we ran down the street to break it up. They were going to sue us for this and that and bring us to court and press charges blah blah blah.

The leash law is in effect in my town for a reason so stuff like this doesn't happen. Another example of stupid people owning pets...

 

[Evan!]

Didn't think it was necessary to add: I stopped the car and helped her corral the dog. I asked her why he wasn't on the leash so close to a major road. Her reply was that she always walks him off the leash because he's normally such a good boy. Someday I'm sure he'll be a flat boy if she keeps it up.

Man, your avatar is killing me. I just keep expecting you to say "BRO!"

 

[brauhaus]

I used to have these [ignorant, white trash] neighbors who thought that their dog, a german shepherd, was behaved well enough to never need a leash. They thought the same thing about their 3 and 4 year old kids who played in the street while the mother drank mixed drinks and talked on the phone and never payed attention, but thats another story in itself. One day my brother was driving down the street and the dog ran out between cars right in front of his. The dog survived but with a couple of broken legs but these neighbors went f'ing nuts on us. They almost assaulted my brother (he was 17 or 18 at the time) until we ran down the street to break it up. They were going to sue us for this and that and bring us to court and press charges blah blah blah.

The leash law is in effect in my town for a reason so stuff like this doesn't happen. Another example of stupid people owning pets...

i love when people say, "don't worry, he's a good dog." as the pooch is foaming at the mouth and looks as if it's ready to take your arm off...

we have our fair share of dislikes about our neighbors, well they have 2 dogs, one is a springer spaniel and has a very well temperament, then they have a mutt who is fierce and looks as if he's tried to break through the screen.

The neighbor has come right out and has said to us, "oh this one will bite, so if you see him outside, you best stay in."

I'm sorry, since when did I become a prisoner to my own home? put your mutt on a lease or i'll snap it's neck if it bites me.

 

[MikeFlynn74]

We have a Pitt and one funy fact is most people who have pitts dont actually have pits.

A couple of friend who have visited made the comment "wow hes not at all like we pictured. I thought he be some crazy viscious dog"

 

[Danny013]

Good rant. I agree, and the presentation doesn't bother me. The guy is frustrated and angry that people can be so stupid sometimes, I suppose. Like other's have said, sometimes you just gotta let it go. At least it was on the internet and not at some shelter/persons house/etc.

SWMBO and I watch all the animal cops shows every night as well, lol. We adopt all our animals from the shelters as well. My dog, a 80 lb. American Bulldog is excellently behaved and friendly, and I've had to work hard to get him to listen and mind. I am guilty of letting him off the leash sometimes, though. However, he does mind and does not chase after critters/people/cars/etc. I also let him sit on the porch with me when I hang outside and grill; he sits there and knows to stay, all the neighbors comment on how good a dog he is as well (when their dogs run up to jump and play with mine, while he sits there waiting to hear 'ok'.) haha.

Oh well.

Planning on rescuing another dog soon!

/end rant.

 

[david_42]

Great rant! It really pisses me off when someone is walking 4 off-leash dogs on MY property and the dogs start threatening my on-leash dogs. Last time, I told her to keep them off my property or I would invoke the clause that allows people to shoot off-leash dogs on their own property. This is intended to allow farmers to kill dogs that chase livestock, but applies to all dogs.

 

[Aleforge]

That was a great rant! I have to 100% agree and wish pet owners would be more responsible. I always take great care when I have my dog outside of our yard. I can't tell you how many times people with little dogs (usually older people) will run right up on my dog and I. These are leashed dogs, but they are still too stupid to understand not all dogs play nice.

 

[Fingers]

some of those laws are stupid. I can shoot a dog if it's so much as 'worrying' my livestock, but not if it's threatening my children. All those problems have ended for me now, thank god, but I'd resolved that the next time a dog comes into my yard and scares my wife or children, I'd grab a chicken from the coop and let it go near the dog. Can you picture it? Bite... BOOOOOOM!!!!

 

[mr_goodwrench]

I agree completely with the rant. There are many, many people who shouldn't ever be allowed to own dogs. There are also an awful lot of people who just don't think.

We currently have three dogs: two Scotties and a beagle/springer mix. All three are dogs we adopted. The mix was adopted as a puppy from a shelter and the Scotties came to us through Scottie Rescue. SWMBO and I used to foster for Rescue before we had our daughter. Our oldest Scot was an x-mas gift that wasn't well thought out and our youngest came from a puppy mill when she was a puppy. She is plagued with food allergies that left her with nearly no hair. After over a year of trial and error, she is now a vegetarian(much to my consternation) and is getting more fur by the day. She makes a great teaching tool for not buying pet store puppies!

 

[Yooper]

I agree with the leash part especially! I have had my dog for 3 months now (a full grown yellow lab). He's a great dog! But if I'm walking him, and another dog approaches and acts aggressive (off leash), he goes nuts. I've literally yelled at people, "Go and take your dog! Get a leash!" while they apologize and say that Fido is NEVER like that. I think my big dog is seen by those other dogs as a threat, and since they aren't on a leash, they come running. I've about had it with the lame explanations. Hello- there is a law. And it pertains to YOU. I don't care if Fido is the nicest dog in the entire world- put him on the f***ing leash. My dog is on the leash to protect him, not because I'm mean. And, again, it's the LAW.

 

[bethlehembrewer]

+1 for leashes. SWMBO was running yesterday with our english setter when out of no where this dude's pitbull runs out at them and almost attacks our dog, like going at her neck attack. So I geuss SWMBO starts to yell at the dog and finally sees the owner just standing there watching it all happen, not doing a damn thing. She almost had to pull her mace which I can only imagine would have landed her in trouble and not the brainless dipsh!t who shouldn't be allowed to own an animal. I was livid needless to say.

 

[MikeFlynn74]

SWMBO was running yesterday with our english setter when out of no where this dude's pitbull runs out at them and almost attacks our dog, like going at her neck attack. So I geuss SWMBO starts to yell at the dog and finally sees the owner just standing there watching it all happen, not doing a damn thing. She almost had to pull her mace which I can only imagine would have landed her in trouble and not the brainless dipsh!t who shouldn't be allowed to own an animal. I was livid needless to say

2 problems with this story- How do you know it was a Pit? 90% People have no idea what a Pit looks like. Ive seen Akidas called Pits.
Had the dog wanted to attack he wouldnt have stopped.

Not saying you are a liar- More likely it was a mut and not a true APBT.

 

[the_bird]

Would the point of the story be any different if it WERE a mutt? The point is about the dog being unleashed, the breed in this instance is irrelevant.

 

[MikeFlynn74]

the breed in this instance is irrelevant

Correct- So why label the dog? Makes the story that much better doesnt it. Sounds more dangerous when in reality it was probably a lab mutt who just wanted to play.

But yes the guys a Dbag for not having them on a leash. Im glad I have a large fencend in area for our to run