Utopia Clone #3 Perfecting Nirvanha

Williams 728
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Hope you don't have to be anywhere anytime soon Cape. Good list though, wish I had even half those available down here.

When I move to Cali in June, I'll be able to enjoy lots of good beers I can't get here, but half my guns will suddenly become illegal... Some trade.

FWIW My money is on a giant block of cement as soon as the sparge begins. :D I'll PM you my address so you can send me my share of the winning bet.
 
Im reading this thread! I just have to work!

Here one of Paul smiling!

1131-masstoberfest.jpg


Cape is this yours?

1120-tap-set-up.jpg
 
The red cooler jockey box is mine and Paul is smiling because 1) it is well before the stuck spahdge and 2) his "side kick" is under the picture doing him a "favor"
 
Stratotankard said:
FWIW My money is on a giant block of cement as soon as the sparge begins. :D I'll PM you my address so you can send me my share of the winning bet.
Click to expand...

While I appreciate your advanced use of..... common sense (something Paul apparently scoffs at!) I think you are giving him waaaaay too much credit. I am expecting a solid cement mash. Ten he is goona scramble with "oh my God!!! Lets put in the IC's!!!" and thats not gonna work either.

You have bo idea how many pics of paul looking horribly dejecting I'm looking forward to
 
"And now... The REST of the story..."

We all witnessed Brians descent into an alcoholic fugue yesterday. When your day starts off with standing outside a bar at 11:00 AM, impatiently tapping your foot because they're not yet pouring hooch down you gullet, the best you can hope for is that a friend will show up with bail money.

I texted Brian off and on through the day yesterday.
"Are you ok? Hittin' it kind of hard today, don't ya think?"
The amount of slurring in his words kept apace with his volume.
"Fargque you, I'll drink till I'm not thurstyyyyy!"
"Ok, no problem. How you getting home?"
"The train, same as every other day! What do you think, I'm gonna shove a propeller up my arse and fart till I get there?". (He seemed to find that last gem particulary amusing.)
"Ya Brian, but how are you getting home from the train station?"
"I don't know, maybe the 'ass-pella'

So finally he agrees to let me drive him home and he'll pick his car up at the train station this morning. I ask him repeatedly, "The 5:55, right?"

Well I'm there at 5:45, the train pulls into the station on time and everyone gets off the train. With one notable exception. You all get three guesses who. After a while I see the conductors supporting a lump of putty towards the door and the next thing you know CB comes tumbling down onto the platform, his briefcase spilled open and papers are flying everywhere.

So I get out of the truck and go help him gather his things and just when I'm sure the moment can't get any worse, Commander Disco starts singing. At the top of his very drunk lungs.

"My Baby takes the morning train,
He works from nine to five and then,
He takes another home again,
To find me waiting for him.

My Baby takes the morning train..."

Well, you get the picture. I've never been so embarrassed for another man in my life.

I pour him into the truck and drive him home. I carried his arse up the front steps, rang the doorbell and ran for my truck.

Normally I wouldn't ever repeat a story like this, h
 
Normally wouldn't repeat a story like that, an honor among thieves kind of thing. But then I thought about it and wondered "What if the shoe were on the other foot and it was me singing Donna Summers on the Mansfield Spur.

At that point my choice was easy.

PTN
 
So perhaps I took a little poetic license. Look, I just spent the last two hours on the Grey Haird Express with my MIL coming back from the casinos at Atlantic City. I needed to do something to amuse myself, you can only read a two day old copy of USA Today so many times.

Besides, it wasn't 100% made up. I did ask if you needed a ride home.

PTN
 
Threads like this, I wish there was a "subscribe via SMS" option on the forum.

If you guys are worried about maintaining mash temps you could always just hook up your pot sti... err, I mean a steam injection system like Yuri built to raise temps. I have a feeling HERMS and this mega-tun will get along about as well as Super Man and Kryptonite. Or, Paulie and Cape Ruin err I mean Brewing get along in this thread.

I'm a bit too druck to wade through the hundreds of posts in the last three hours to figure out when the brewcast is gonna be. I HAVE to tune in for this one, it will make the superbowl look like a trip to the grocery store.
 
The funny part is I've played that trick with Paul before where I took a nugget of truth that involved his job and blew it way out of proportion in a post as a joke... and I was met with a steady stream of voicemails on my cell from Paul... FREAKIN out about how comments, regardless of how vague and general, about his conduct at the hospital were "going to immediately get him fired". I wish i still had the four or five voicemails in quick succession that came in begging me to take the post down.

I thought, per usual, that he was beig a retahd but I relented and took the post down.

Now... Apparently those types of posts are fair game again. Which is great for me since Paul has been smart enough to tell me a bunch of his work related stories. It is really just a matter of which one i want to start with and how much "poetic license" I want to take.

.... and this time, when Paul starts crying and absolutely freaking out, I can simply tell him to fist himself.
 
Slow day in the office so I went to this nice restaurant/ beer bah around the corner from my office for lunch. I had two beers (the quad and an IPA on cask) as well as two samples of beers I had never had before.

I went back to work, got some stuff done and then, since it was a slow day, I bugged out about an hour early, went back, got the chacuterie plate and had a few more beers. I then got on a 5:40 train, was stone sober by the time I got to my truck, drove home and walked through the door about 6:30 ish... Had "pizza and movie night" with my two young sons and went to bed.

Unlike Paul's poetic license version where I blew off my job all day and got sloppy drunk.

Like I keep saying.... I'll start taking poetic license with Paul's job an we'll all get a good look at how funny Paul finds it.
 
So, Cape, when can expect to see the pilot of Showtime's "*White* Shoe Diaries"?

yeah, yeah, it'll be at 4 am in (G)Nome, Alaska. That's a given. (I'll fly there with my Fart-a-pellor).
 
This thread went more dead than the hooker under Paul's porch that he uses for cultures to ferment his sour ales....
 
Sorry guys, I know what you're going thru, I'm in a bit of withdrawal myself. We went to NJ to visit the MIL for the long weekend and I left my charger at home, so no once the battery ran down I was done

Here, I'll do a quick catch up post so we can all get a fix:

Yeager is P-whipped
Cape makes ass-beer
The Mega Tun is going to revolutionize homebrewing as we know it
Before long, people will speak of me in the same reverential tone that they speak of Charlie Papazian and use BP and AP as milestone date markers, like we now use BC and AD
The Utopia clone is such a great brew that the rest of you should just give up and start brewing Zima, cause you're never going to approach my greatness

Ok hope that holds ya

PTN
 
The MegaTun is going to revolutionize the construction industry, as civil engineers worldwide are going to study in great detail how a simple mixture of grain and sugary water can be formed into a concrete-like mass able to withstand 6000 PSI.
 
Once again, jealosy rears it's ugly head.

Look it's okay. I get it. Great men throughout history have had to listen to the whining of the uneducated and unwashed. Actors get up on stage and perform, critics sit in the seats and yap. Reagan had to listen to people yap about Mondale, Brady gets compared to Roethlessburger, Ted Williams was compared to DiMagio, and I have to put up with these three.

Give me strength.
 
So I get a call this morning from Paul..... "Yeager please help me, my computer keeps sending me to odd sites when I google stuff... I can't find what i am really looking for....". Me: " ok Paul, let me log on remotely and see what I can do" (note this is not the first time hence the remote access to his ancient slow hp.... ) I log on and see what he is talking about, and he is right, a simple search brings back google results, but when you hit the google results it redirects to a site that was not intended.... Really odd stuff.... So i proceed to investigate. He has over 3000 infections of viruses and spyware that i am removing with three tools... Now how the heck did he get over 3000 infections I wonder.... We all know Paul and his dead hooker under the porch, but that can't infect a computer. So i did a little research and you wouldn't believe what I found..... His browser history says it all..... One virus was Trojan.dropper.... Geez, Paul could have at least let the computer keep it's condom, but no it had to drop it... Now where did all this come from? Well searches on his history mentioned things like "big black stout...." the results that came back for that were scary!!!!!! "american larger", no not lager... Larger..... "hearty brown male..." I think he meant ale.... At least I hope.... "yeast infection" guess it's self explanatory on that one.....
 
I decided to search for XKCD computer jokes on google images, and found this one, which might be useful around here. Just substitute "homebrewtalk" for "youtube".

comics-listen-to-yourself.png


I also found this, which I also enjoyed.

A6CE53E5.jpg
 
I don't get the first one but I'm 100% behind the second.

I brought most of my gear over to Yeager's yesterday. Still need to bring over a table and a few more odds and ends. I'm smoking a couple of slabs of bacon now, when that's done I'm headed out to Worcester to retrieve my Consecration clone. I'll be sure to bring some alone on Saturday.

PTN
 
Weather looks to be good on Saturday, hopefully the rain will be out of there by Friday.

Hey Billie, am I picking you up in Greenfield again? I'm thinking of leaving the house around 6:00, which would put me in Greenfield about 7:15 or so and out in Norton at around 9:30. That too early for you? Shoot me a PM with your cell ## again.
 

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