Things that come out of the SWMBO's mouth!

[NorthRiverS]

After countless hours of brewing, fermenting, bottling, and conditioning a fabulous homebrew, the wife usually says, "Tastes like beer".

That's it.

NRS

 

[the_bird]

Am I the only pervert who read this thread as "things that come in SWMBO's mouth"?

EDIT: Looks like Bobby's a perv, too.

 

[ThickHead]

SWMBO is all about using natural products to maintain her healthy skin. When I say "natural," I don't mean as in buying products from the store that are marketed as all-natural, organic, etc. I mean that she uses my spent coffee grounds and olive oil as an exfoliating scrub, avocados and tomatoes for face masks, freshly clipped Aloe Vera, and the list goes on and on.

I said that to say this: The first time my wife was present for a brew day she watched me strain about 8 oz of hops out of my freshly cooled wort and the ensuing conversation went a little like this:

SWMBO: Wow! That is a lot of hops. They smell wonderful.

Me: Yeah, this batch is an IPA and the recipe calls for a lot of hops.

SWMBO: Hrmm...can you save those for me?

Me: Sure. Why?

SWMBO: I would like to use them in my bath this evening.

Me: (shaking off the fog) Ummm...errrr...sure, Baby.

Later that evening I witnessed just about the sexiest thing my brain never imagined. SWMBO stark naked in a fresh, beery, hop bath! Anyway, that was a hell of a good night. :rockin:

Sorry, she won't let me share the pics.

 

[stanley1271]

"I think you screwed up your wheat beer, it tastes like bubblegum's nutsack"

Who is bubblegum and how does she know what his nutsack tastes like?

 

[Chenslee]

"I HIGHLY suggest you come home for lunch, your beer is doing something weird."

By 'weird' she meant wit volcano in the pantry. What a mess.

 

[Malintent]

SWMBO says that boiling extract, "smells like a bladder infection" and that my all grain mash "smells like breakfast"

Honestly, I have to agree with both sentiments.

 

[cfonnes]

SWMBO says that boiling extract, "smells like a bladder infection" and that my all grain mash "smells like breakfast"

Hopefully I never find out what a bladder infection smells like. That is just something that I cannot imagine myself leaning over and sniffing deeply to investigate.

 

[jspence1]

My favorite:

After hitting the kegerator pretty hard for about an hour or two: "I'm kind of toasted. But I looked at my watch at it's only 6:30. I can't stop drinking yet!"

Two hours later: "I'm trashed! Why didn't you stop me?!?!"

30 minutes after that: "Zzzzzzzzzzzz."

Wow that sounds like me at leo's place last year

 

[jspence1]

55 pound bag of Maris Otter sitting on the kitchen table, "Is this sack going to be dropped from an airplane to feed the hungry, or are you going to move it."

best line ever!

 

[fuhmon]

SWMBO: how many have you had tonight?

Me: umm only a few (like 7 20oz)

SWMBO: its hard to tell how many you drink now since all your beer is in kegs. I can't count the bottles on the counter anymore

 

[PVH]

SWMBO: how many have you had tonight?

Me: umm only a few (like 7 20oz)

SWMBO: its hard to tell how many you drink now since all your beer is in kegs. I can't count the bottles on the counter anymore

Nice. I can only get so far by pointing out that I weigh 50% more than SWMBO does and that men metabolize ethanol better. Kegging gets me the rest of the way there.

 

[Antler]

You guys crack me up. My SWMBO doesn't say a word about my brewing. She just silently give me the dreaded evil-eyed look.

+1.

I call it the "stink-eye"

 

[BierGuy]

I have it made my SWMBO is my brew partner ! She also forced me (very little arm twisting) to buy a second refer and and a total of six taps to our first one.

 

[rycov]

I have it made my SWMBO is my brew partner ! She also forced me (very little arm twisting) to buy a second refer and and a total of six taps to our first one.

your first post, and already the coolest thing i've heard today.:rockin:

 

[Whut]

SWMBO: "Get out, you're never doing that in here again!"

Me: "Are we still talking about my brewing in the kitchen?"

 

[Whut]

her: "I thought doing this was going to SAVE us money?"

me: "I thought you SAVED money at Macy's last week?"

Her: "I did. I saved almost $200"

me: "You didn't SAVE crap... You SPENT 300 bucks! If you saved money, so did I."

Her: "You're sleeping on the couch".

me: "I know."

And that's how the fight started!

 

[sweet_corn]

I actually started brewing to see if my SWMBO was the one. After the second brew she made me get a propane burner.

Now she encourages by brewing, and almost drinks the beer. I poured her a 4 oz last night of a cream ale I made for her, and she responded with "why such a big one"...

I always tell her, if it wasn't for all this time brewing we could have sex more. She then insists that I spend more time brewing...

 

[lou2row]

Wife: What are you doing out there, goofing off?

Me: Yeah, I'll be right in.

I then go in, commandeer the remote, and turn it to stuff she can't stand to watch. I usually don't hear squat for a month or two.

 

[kinghellsfire_NZ]

You should tell her that if that's the worst thing you do after she passes out, she should be grateful. :rockin:

If he told her that I suspect he might find himself on the couch at the very least

 

[DakotaRules]

I'd be lucky if I could stay in the back yard. I do have to say she does like the smell mashing grain in tun. She thinks it smells like grape-nuts.

 

[Malintent]

I am observing an inordinate number of *****-whipped brewers on this forum. Loosing respect for ya'll. I'm not saying to *****-slap anyone or anything.. but come on, it's your house too.

 

[kinghellsfire_NZ]

I am observing an inordinate number of *****-whipped brewers on this forum. Loosing respect for ya'll. I'm not saying to *****-slap anyone or anything.. but come on, it's your house too.

spoken like a true 40 year old virgin

 

[jspence1]

spoken like a true 40 year old virgin

Well said

 

[dfc]

spoken like a true 40 year old virgin

I've been happily married for 4 years and I completely agree with him.

 

[doctorRobert]

spoken like a true 40 year old virgin

Whatever makes you feel better.

 

[beerloaf]

Mine actually likes the smell of making the wort and hops and all. She asked me last week if she could help with brewing so that she could learn how to do it. I thought that was pretty cool.

Beerloaf

 

[beerloaf]

The people on here who call others whipped or whatever need to grow up. The "my way or the highway attitude" will not go very far with most women. Some who don't have a backbone or any self confidence perhaps, but not any others. Believe me, I'm on my 3rd marriage. Been there done that. The reality is that every relationship takes a butt load of compromise. I learned that a happy SWMBO gets me a whole lot more brewing time and now she even wants to be part of it. So you tell me who's whipped.

Beerloaf

 

[DakotaRules]

The people on here who call others whipped or whatever need to grow up. The "my way or the highway attitude" will not go very far with most women. Some who don't have a backbone or any self confidence perhaps, but not any others. Believe me, I'm on my 3rd marriage. Been there done that. The reality is that every relationship takes a butt load of compromise. I learned that a happy SWMBO gets me a whole lot more brewing time and now she even wants to be part of it. So you tell me who's whipped.

Beerloaf

Well said.

 

[Malintent]

Im married and in a fantastic partnership with my wife... I am almost forty but haven't been a virgin in 25 years. Partnerships like marriage require both parties to respect each other and what I have. Been reading in this thread is that more oftent than not if you brew you are not as likely to be in an equal partnership. It ain't all or nothing. Getting along with others is a skill that takes effort on both sides.

 

[RickWG]

The people on here who call others whipped or whatever need to grow up. The "my way or the highway attitude" will not go very far with most women. Some who don't have a backbone or any self confidence perhaps, but not any others. Believe me, I'm on my 3rd marriage. Been there done that. The reality is that every relationship takes a butt load of compromise. I learned that a happy SWMBO gets me a whole lot more brewing time and now she even wants to be part of it. So you tell me who's whipped.

Beerloaf

I can say the same thing in a much shorter sentence. It is something I have lived by since I met SWMBO and stand by it now.

"happy wife. happy life."

Works all the time.

 

[jeepinjeepin]

My wife has a seriously strong sense of smell. Extremely sensitive of bitter and alcohol. I didn't know it was possible to smell bitter until I had her try some hoppy beers. I made a 100+ IBU IPA the other week. I pulled some pre hop wort out to let her try hoping to find something that she would enjoy. She had barely got it to her nose when she yelled that it smelled of rancid pringles and dirty feet. I then got her a sample of the final wort. One tiny sip and she yells bitter and hits me as she spits that sample at me.

 

[jborho]

The thing we did for our marriage, was separate our spending accounts. That way what I spend is a mute point. My wife is not a beer drinker, but she does occasion taste what I make. No matter I make " I do not like beer".

 

[jbsg02]

Man, reading some of this makes me want to remain a bachelor for a long time

 

[mcaple1]

"Why do all these bags of hops have different names...are you seriously naming your hops?"

 

[Malintent]

Man, reading some of this makes me want to remain a bachelor for a long time

Don't let tham scare you. A good relationship fosters mutual respect for one another. Some people just don't don't get it. It isn't all or nothing.. his, way, her way, the highway.. that draconian approach to establishing power and control is primitive and ignorant. A "happy life" is supported by many things, not the least of which is an intimate relationship based on mutual respect for eachother's pations.

 

[mcaple1]

And as the brew network has already noted...adam and eve goes a long way.:cross:

 

[mcaple1]

And as the brew network has already noted...adam and eve goes a long way.:cross:

yes, the sponsor

 

[Whut]

The last words my father gave me before I married my wife was this: "Remember son, they don't think like we do."

Fast forward going on 23 years later and this has served me well.

As you were!

 

[unionrdr]

It's starting to look like I have a desirable sort of wife. She likes my home brew better than BCB's. She brewed her 1st batch yesterday,A BB summer ale kit/grains. She nailed her temps,addition times,etc. She couldn't stop talking about how good it smelled! Then,as we were watching videos after she pitched,she starts talking about all these subtle aromas she picked up on.
WTF? Did I hear right? Wow,she learns fast! She said"That smells so good! I can't wait to try it!" "I'm perk as a ruttin buck that you nailed your temps & everything!" She raises her glass of HB,beams a great smile,& says "well,I had a good teacher! You helped me a lot!" Aaaawww,shuckins...

 

[Antler]

It's starting to look like I have a desirable sort of wife. She likes my home brew better than BCB's. She brewed her 1st batch yesterday,A BB summer ale kit/grains. She nailed her temps,addition times,etc. She couldn't stop talking about how good it smelled! Then,as we were watching videos after she pitched,she starts talking about all these subtle aromas she picked up on.
WTF? Did I hear right? Wow,she learns fast! She said"That smells so good! I can't wait to try it!" "I'm perk as a ruttin buck that you nailed your temps & everything!" She raises her glass of HB,beams a great smile,& says "well,I had a good teacher! You helped me a lot!" Aaaawww,shuckins...

If something happens to you and said woman, send her my way, lol